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Steroid Pumped Police Compensate for Erectile Dysfunction with Violence

Most cops are not packing.
BOSTON - Leading researchers evaluating a study of steroid use by America's police have concluded that steroid induced erectile dysfunction combined low IQ and psychopathy are the root of America's police violence epidemic. While this is the primary cause, racism and penis envy likely contribute to the selection of targets - primarily black men - which explains why a disproportionate number of limp-dicked white police officers target young African American males. "Most steroid pumped limp-dicked white police officers feel inadequate in the presence of young black males and they use their guns to compensate," explained Professor Max Johnson of the the Erectile Dysfunction Institute in Boston. "Some white police officers go further, targeting African American women out of a twisted feeling of jealously over the attention they receive from real men."

We sent a reporter to the local Dunkin Donuts seeking an opportunity to interview a police officer for a response to the study, but the reporter was found hanged in a bathroom stall, his bruised body showing marks of pig hooves. Attempts to contact the local Chief of Police via telephone have been thwarted as well, unable have we been to get past the greeting of "Hi, I'm the police chief, and I'm going to fuck you up the ass, leave a message and your employer's contact information at the beep."

Well, Y'know 22.Aug.2015 06:15

blues

They just wanted to be "tough".

Forget the "erectile" and endurance factors, which they lose.

They just want the first five minute advantage.

They will never collect their lavish pensions.

The steroids will wipe them out way before that.

(Their politician "friends" don't know about this,of course.)

wow 23.Aug.2015 13:53

anon

Is this really indy "news" that has a place, even here at this website?

WOW!!! 23.Aug.2015 19:55

.

A troll on steroids!

WOW! 24.Aug.2015 11:21

..

an idiotic comment on indymedia!