portland independent media center  
images audio video
newswire article commentary oregon & cascadia

human & civil rights | neighborhood news

A personal story of self-defense.

Last night, on April 9th, I used my pistol in a self-defense situation against two people. It's the first time I've ever used my firearm for the purposes of self-defense, and I want to explain the situation along with some learning from the event.
It started out with a terrible day, my friend was dealing with a significant mental health crisis and after dealing with that situation for 12 hours, I was finally on my last step to pick up all the pieces of their life.

I was walking down SW 10th Ave and just crossed SW Morrison St at 8pm, I held my head low as I captivity reflected upon the many tragic events in my friend's life, but felt somewhat satisfied that things were finally coming together, again. My pistol, a 9mm Taurus 24/7, sat snuggly on my left rear waist, sandwiched between my white button-up shirt and leather belt, my black hoody was concealing it from the world. The magazine capacity of my pistol is 17 rounds, a combination of Winchester +P 124-grain Jacketed Hollow Point and Federal 115 grain Full Metal Jacket. I glanced up from my shoes for just a moment to see the walk sign on SW Alder give me permission to cross the street, and at the same time, I spot a 20-ish year old black kid riding one of those stupid short-bikes past me.

"What the fuck you looking at? Mother fucking cracker!" This black kid yelled at me as he rode past.

My chin popped up, looked over my shoulder and out of my mouth rolled "Man, go fuck yourself" as I walked into the street, brushing off the racist comment of another Portland street rat.

I see him ride another few feet, then in the most dramatic way possible, his breaks squeal and he flips 180-degrees to start riding back toward me. "What the fuck did you say!? What the fuck did you say?!" He throws his bike to the ground and starts walking toward me quick.

As I got to the other curb I turned around and started walking backwards, "I got no problem with you!" I yelled. I didn't want a situation, I didn't want to deal with this. My hand slides into my hoody pocket, every single day I keep a half ounce container of Police Magnum Pepper Spray, but today, none was to be found. Was it left in my friend's apartment? Did I drop it? In any case, it was not there. That immediately made the situation a much larger problem.

"Fuck you! I'm going to fuck you up!" The black kid yells, as he comes within 20 feet. Across the street a young white kid dressed in a bright red hoody and bright red shorts comes peddling across SW 10th Ave, heading directly towards me on one of those stupid short bikes.

I pull the back of my hoody, hoping that this racist dipshit realizes that I'm carrying a gun and not interested in a street fight. If you are not aware: if you see someone constantly pulling or pinching at the back end of their shirt or jacket, it's because they're packing a pistol and they're trying to keep it concealed. No one ever needs to adjust the back of their shirt otherwise. It's a common move of both gangsters and the law abiding, both gangsters and people who carry recognize this move. It's the same with people who wear oversized (long) jackets and t-shirts, that's not just a fashion trend, as it serves a purpose of concealing a weapon. I think neither of these kids have carried a pistol, because pulling at your shirt or jacket is an mandatory move, clearly neither recognized it.

The black racist kid puts his fists up in a punching stance as he approaches arms reach, the kid in red comes straight on towards me. My eyes start checking the tops of their pockets for knives, but they were approaching too fast for even a quick inspection. I could see how this fight would go down right away: either of these kids is going to knock me down and my pistol is going to go flying off my hip and into the open. At best I would have my pistol stolen, at worse they'd pick it up and shoot me.

"Hey, back up!" I yell, "Back up! I got no problem with you." My shouts did not dissuade them, I raise my right arm up and put my palm towards them, the universal sign of "Stop". The black kid starts saying "Come on! Come on!" to get me to swing. The kid in red circles to my left and I reach behind me to put my hand on my pistol. I raise my hoody up high so that the pistol is clearly apparent on my hip. I keep thinking, "Look dipshits, I'm clearly armed, reaching for my gun, get a fucking clue." With both kids shouting at me and me walking backwards as fast as I can, and my palm signaling them to stop, I yell, "Back up or I will shoot you." The black kid pauses for a moment, but still stands in a fighting stance just feet from me, he's not dissuaded by what I said, he's waiting for his friend to get behind me.

The kid in red, to my left side, looks at the pistol on my hip, I've pulled it about two inches above my belt line, "Whoa, you've got a gun" he says somewhat confused, calm, surprised, and dumbfounded. "Yes, I have a gun and I will shoot you with it. Back up! Get away from me." My palm is about a foot from his face. The faster I continue to move backwards the quicker this kid in red tries to circle around me. He clearly understand that I am armed, that I'm actively pulling my pistol from my hip, and yet he still is trying to circle me for a fight. The black kid turns around and paces back a few feet, turning his back to me, then he pops back around and aggressively charges me.

"This is it" I think, "I'm putting two shots right into this guy's heart if gets within arm's reach." He yells stumbling over words "Fuck you, mother fucker, I've been shot twice. You got a gun? I've been shot twice! I don't give a fuck!" I stop in my tracks to square my feet, I calmly realize that I'm less than a second away from killing this guy. My thumb brushes against my pistol's safety, it has already been deactivate, my grip comes tight and my arm tense, "Here it comes" I think. This black racist dipshit reaches his hands behind himself, I figure he's drawing his $150 .32 caliber punk plinker, but to my surprise, he simply lifts his shirt to show his stomach. "Back up or I will drop you mother fucker!" I yell, with the full intent of putting two +P hollow points into his upper body and then putting my pistol on to his friend.

At that moment, a 40ish year old Asian woman casually walked between the three of us, completely oblivious as to everything going on right in front of her. I again started walking backwards very quickly, trying to keep this dumbass woman out of my line of fire while also preventing this kid in red from circling me anymore. I knew that if this kid got the jump on me it was going to be really bad.

The kid in red says to the black kid, "Man, this fucker has got a gun." I again say, "Yes, and I will shoot you both with it, back up!" The black kid huffs and puffs then turns around to walk away, but the kid in red is adamant to stay close to me. He comes within arms distance, still on his bike and I shout as loud as possible, "You do not need to be this close to me, back up or I will kill you!" I think those words finally clicked with him, because he put his feet on the cement and stopped. I walked backwards all the way SW Washington street, the kid in red glared at me the whole way, when I'm at the corner he yelled something like "I will see you later." I yelled back with the fullest intention of my threat, "Stay away from me or I will kill you." Several more people walked by, completely oblivious to the fact that I'm walking backwards and clearly have my hand on a pistol ready to draw.

When I across SW Washington they're both gone, my pistol is again concealed. I follow 10th Ave heading towards Burnside, and my heart begins to pound, realizing the gravity of the situation I was just confronted with. The entire encounter by the food carts couldn't of lasted more than 30 seconds, definitely no more time than it takes me to speed walk backwards a city block, and during that time, I had a strange sense of calmness - more calmness than I have before entering a wrestling match, my mind was keeping my body in check and controlling the situation. I keep looking over my shoulder at every street I pass, neither kid is behind me. My hand goes to my cell phone and I place a call to my close friend, a friend that's got a lot more experience than I do when it comes to shooting people. He didn't answer and my hand began to shake too much for me to text. "Carry on," I thought - those calming words resonate from my military days when fucked up shit would go down, "Carry on" like nothing happened.

Half way through the cross walk on Burnside I see the kid in red behind me on his bike, he's at the corner looking right at me. There's at least two-dozen bystanders and, having been in many fights before, I figure I can deal with this kid by himself especially with the aid of another pedestrian - but I keep walking. I don't want a fight, I don't want to kill anyone, I don't want to deal with this, I'm just trying to wrap up an already shitty day.

There's nothing worse than needing to talk to the cops - absolutely nothing worse. I'd rather share a beer with any shithead racist drug dealer riding those stupid bikes than talk to a goddamn police officer, but tonight there was some special circumstances. I was heading to Old Town to pick up my friend's car, and I had no idea if this kid in red would tail me the whole way. On Burnside and NW Park Ave a bumblebee bike-cop is crossing Burnside, I wave him down with a loud "Hey!" and my arm in the air. He takes his sweet ass time peddling over to me.

"Hi there, so just a minute ago over by the food carts on 10th two kids tried jumping me. I drew my pistol on them and they eventually backed up."

"Oh?" The cop says nonchalant.

"Yeah, now the problem is that one kid is following me. He's wearing bright red shorts and a red hoody, riding one of those stupid short bikes. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the other, a black kid wearing blue jeans and a white shirt also on a stupid bike, is still by the carts looking to start fights, or if they're over by O'Bryant park. I last saw the kid in red over at the corner of 10th and Burnside 30 seconds ago."

"Huh." The cop replies, "Ok, thanks for letting me know, have a good night." He peddles away up Burnside with about the same urgency as he approached me, I wonder if he gave two shits about what I just told him. If nothing else, thank god that was easy. I got back to my friend's car in Old Town without spotting either kid again.

What are the things I've reflected on?

First, I work downtown, and these two street rat punks looked somewhat familiar. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I see them today or tomorrow or next week or in a few months. Maybe at the bus stop, maybe while I'm at the food carts, maybe when I'm walking out of a bar at 1am. I'll certainly remember their faces and their stupid outfits and stupid bicycles - but the real question is, will they remember me? I've already got enemies in Portland, people with a badge have threatened to kill me, so I'm not new to practicing situational awareness, but I certainly have at least two new problems in this town.

Second: Always keep a non-lethal self-defense option on you. These two dipshits were entirely intent on fighting me, it wouldn't have been my first street fight, and I doubt it would have been theirs. I didn't really want to kill these two morons, but, at the same time, I don't have a problem killing someone who casually or opportunistically picks street fights, especially when I know that a fight is going to lead to my gun being thrown in to the mix. I couldn't see any other option: if they fight me, my gun is coming out one way or another. In case you're wondering: it was my plan to kill both of them, put my pistol back under my hoody, and walk away from the scene calmly. My rounds don't have finger prints on them, and I doubt the police would open a significant investigation for these two shitheads who probably already have a long list of fuckups. I wouldn't have been legally allowed to kill either of them, neither (as far as I could tell) were armed, but that was exactly what I was planning on doing. These two kids tried shaking up the wrong person, and thankfully for their own stupid selves, they realized their mistake before I killed them. A non-lethal option would have been very nice to have, but I do wonder that if I pointed my pepper spray at either one of those kids, if they would have just thought it was a silly toy and charged me immediately. Maybe the appropriate response is not to threaten someone with pepper spray, but simply to deploy it when needed. Either way, they did fear my pistol, and in the end, nothing happened that night besides me brandishing a pistol in front of these morons.

Third: Threats are real, racist people are a real problem, and it's not just the skin heads and Nazis. This is the FIFTH time (that is 5 times) that I've seen a black dude yelling racial slurs at me in the downtown area. Yeah I am a white dude, and when I'm wearing a tie I'm the whiteist of white people ever, but that doesn't mean you can call me a cracker. Once at the small bathroom park on SW Ankeny (near Burnside) another black youth started yelling "Cracker" and "Narc" at me as I walked to my bus stop, I take my ear phone out and he starts yelling again, I just yelled back to him that he's a racist piece of shit, and that was all that event was, he was too much of a loser to stand up. Another time at Pioneer Courthouse Square I came across an older very large black male spitting on people while yelling racist things ("Cracker" and "Chinc") , you could call it a "mental health crisis" or you could identify it for what it is: he was trying to provoke a fight and spitting on old ladies. In that situation, by the time I found a guy who could back me up (the security guards at the Square can't get in a fight, and he couldn't get through to the cops) the dude was on the MAX and off to the next place to start some shit. The other two times, it's been black guys standing at a corner, staring right at me, and say shit like "White devil", "Fuck you whitey", "Cracker", &c - those situations I just stood silent because they were clearly not trying to start a fight. I was more bewildered and fascinated by their racial oppression manifested as hatred being projected on to me, as if I did something to them. Understand this: I've never provoked any of these situations, I've just happened upon them. We can't forget or ignore the historical problems of race relations in this town, that there have been race riots where gangs of youth have beaten and killed people simply because of their skin color. This happened as recently as the mid 1990's. I'm not trying to say that black people are the only threat to my physical safety, nor am I trying to imply that any particular black person should be viewed as a potential threat, I'm just conveying my actual experiences. The total number of times I perceived my physical safety was being threatened while downtown has been less than ten, and half of those incidents were around race. With my history of gang involvement, I've come across all sorts of people who have been real threats to me, and they come in all sorts of colors. My third lesson is really simple: these events can happen anywhere, at any time.

Fourth: I probably could have just shut my mouth and let some racist street trash rat yell "Cracker" at me. I could have kept my head low and carried on, thinking nothing of it. Though, I still think the appropriate response was my reply of "fuck yourself." Words don't break bones, so if he's going to using words he shouldn't be surprised or offended when words are used back at him, but when you throw down your bike and start threatening to fuck someone up, you'd better be prepared to deal with the consequences of those actions. I didn't shout it at him, I didn't make a point of ensuring he was insulted, I just objected to his racist bullshit. I don't demand that people respect me, but when someone goes out of their way to disrespect me, then I'm just an opportunistic victim, and that perpetrator is going to continue berate and intimidate innocent people. I have no pity for the moron who picks a fight with the wrong person.

Fifth: I decided today that I should pass this story along. Too many people do not see the utility of carrying a pistol or any self-defense tool. I'm actually amazed that so many people walk around defenseless when there clearly are people looking to pick fights and start trouble. Please remember and consider that physical protection is very important, that someone might decide to use violence against you for no perceivable reason. Be prepared for that, don't be a victim. I'm 100% convinced that these dudes would have used violence against me last night, and because they realized I had a pistol, they decided not to. My pistol actually protected me and kept the peace.

........... 10.Apr.2013 20:13

Charles

Point 5 aside, I can live with this. I just wouldn't get too bitter. I actually somewhat appreciate the humanity and logic in this. I'm not going to start carrying a firearm anytime soon, but yeah, its a crazy world. I actually appreciatee this to some extent. I just wouldn't get too bitter.

hahahaha 10.Apr.2013 20:33

fake name

1) Blacks cannot be racist.
2) It is dark.
3) You are alone
4) Blacks cannot be racist.
5) You are outnumbered.
6) You returned a comment in kind with some random asshole.
7) You are genuinely surprised at the outcome.
8) Blacks cannot be racist.
9) You are an asshole (but I guess scores of people on indy have already told you that.)

Why didn't you keep your mouth shut and just keep walking? Idiot. And why do you expect us to believe that you never called these kids racist names given your character illustrated so many times here with so many of your posts and comments?

Problems occur when you walk through downtown? Then stay the fuck home.

@fake name 11.Apr.2013 08:35

no doubt about it

If what you posted is not sarcasm, you have to be the stupidest motherfucker that ever breathed. Be gone with ya, moron.

@Fidelity, you are the man, standing up for yourself with these racist assholes. No shame in being white, no shame in being black, neither is better than the other, and those who start shit over race need their asses kicked quickly and completely. Or shot if they are stupid enough to engage someone who is armed.

... 11.Apr.2013 08:41

Fidelity

@fake name - I'm not sure if your comment is meant to be ironic or sarcastic or obtuse or obstructive or provocative. You seem to be some sort of eStalking fan-boy of mine, so let me provide you a bit of advice: your communication skills suck. Understand the weight of my comment: I barely grasp the fundamental principals of the English language, I would suggest you work on your skills before writing anything else anywhere. Maybe read some Kurt Vonnegut.

@Charles - Thanks man, I don't consider myself bitter about the situation, life goes on... I would recommend you consider thinking about pepper spray if nothing else, a container costs about $5-$7 (including shipping) via Amazon and other retailers.

Discrimination sucks. Join the human race. 11.Apr.2013 08:45

Lefty

To say that "blacks cannot be racist" is to deny their humanity. Since blacks are human beings, they indeed can be racist, like any other human being.

The term "reverse discrimination" is redundant, because discrimination is discrimination - period.

When victims of discrimination respond by practicing discrimination themselves, they have gone over to the Dark Side.

w.t.f.? 11.Apr.2013 11:47

the real Charles/....?

W.t.f.?

I mean, its nothing I wouldn't have said, I just didn't. The above comments all sorts of wrong though. I don't even know what to say here. Balls on this. If this were real Fidelity, I'm sorry you had to going through this. Misplaced anger is an awful thing to be victimized over. If this is true I agree with "Charles?" Don't get too bitter. Happens everyday, all walks of life, all different manifestations.

If racial violence occurs as a result of misrdirect class consciousness can it still be seen as racist. Even if it isn't institutionally condoned? Even if its a mirrored response to societies pathogical ills? I for one can't answer this but it is an interesting question.

"What the fuck you looking at? Mother fucking cracker!" 11.Apr.2013 16:56

Get Real

"What the fuck you looking at? Mother fucking cracker!"

Just explain what the fuck ISN'T racist about that comment.

Fuck these punk racist assholes.

........ 11.Apr.2013 17:26

.......

Also not me. I've never seen Fidelity make a racist comment. Even speak in hyporbole bout guns. But I'm also not paying the fuck attention. But if this is true, and it may well not be there's little to nothing verifiable on idnymedia, especially this one, this is an interesting situation. Especially considering that though the blafk dude was using race as a verbal justification the fact there was a white boy as an accomplise makes is just evidence of misdirected anger. Unacknowledged class consiousness.

I've been jumped. I've had this happen. Minus the guns I had something like this happen on the streets of Jerusalem. The old city. "Its a crazy ass world." The guy was Philipino. I don't hate him. I'm not going to arm myself to compensate or anything, but it happens. I don't hear an instigation towards racial violence. Is Fidelity an antisemitic troll and I'm just missing something? I admittedly don't pay shit all worth of attention but I gather you're not a fan. As someone who vaguely recollects his rational for why Roman Polanski isn't a complete swine and granted find it a bit questionable to say the least, is there a reason for this? This isn't like calling out someone who used to be homeless right?

Even if he is lying, this is elablrate enough, and on an outlet where nothing he's said should be dismissed. This happened somewhere in America last night. Maybe it was a different context. Maybe it was white supremacicism, homohobia, misdirected class anger, when you're scared you don't give a shit. Some people make an ethical stance and sacrifice absute security for peace of mind. I'll bring cases of female bodied people into this and test how genuine your convictions are. I'm not armed, but if you have breasts, Im not judging you if you are.

All the accusations of trolls and lies, who's this coming from?

backtrack 11.Apr.2013 18:00

..........

One last point. Xenophobia. Not racism in a systematic supremacy kind of way. Xenophobia.

Whoever Fidelitys 'fanboy' is, and the first comment is mine I got my windows mixed up or something, but seriously. I have no idea who you are or what your obsession with him is. I don't agree with the mans politics either. Point 5. Id keep my peace of mind and sacrifice omnipotent security, but seriously, you're not the person who called a Jewish 'solidarity activist' a fufking nazi? Accused a former vagrant of lying, etc? You got to let up because honestly, I understand bad people come to this site, Fidelity doesn't strike me as a white supremacist. You do. Sincerely. I'm calling you out qs being a troll. I think even the Wooey Allen post, was blatant trolling. Not an Activist. Just a troll.

Black folk can be angry black people can be racist. Racism brees itself. Economic segregation etc. In how you live your life, extreme situation like this aside, its how you view one another, interact with each other that will dismantle these attitudes. Communication and underetanring and shit like that.

Remeber Trayvon Martin.

crackers 11.Apr.2013 23:12

jango unchained

just kidding w/ the title and name...i've yet to even see the movie:)

I've resolved at some point in the last couple years that I'll let anyone saying 'cracker' in a derogatory way in my presence know they can stand up and say it to my face in an alley way one on one. I don't say the N word and no modern day black man has been a slave and if he has been through some racism then still I have to say you gotta stand up for yourself the same as i gotta stand up for mine when that happens. beyond this i don't fight over disrespect; i would only fight over people putting hands on me or telling me what to do, but they can talk their shit.

what I've found about bullies and racists is that they fear an honest competition. they don't fear guns, they get angry over them. but an honest no bullshit challenge? There is no easy way out of that one. this brat sounds like your typical northwestern punk who talks way more than he actually does anything. I used to work a door at a bar in spokane and unfailingly things would start with, "what did you say?" right then i knew to look away because it never goes anywhere really. well maybe a little standing in between them and shoving and it's over. but every now and then some dude would come in who was just not like your average or just from a different part of the country- believe me you can often tell when a gangster/ ex gangster or just dude from the streets of LA comes in because they're not disrespectful; if and when they decide to do something they'll probably just do it and not work themselves up to it. beyond that they just show respect. dudes up here aren't like that i believe because they know they can get away with it up here.

If something is worth fight over it should be worth losing over, thats what so many of these punks now days don't understand. It works both ways too; our greatest defense is picking and choosing our battles- no matter how tough we all tend to think we are.

sounds stupid but try looking above someone when you feel they're potentially hostile. people see you looking down and they suddenly get brave.

This matter could have been easily settled by Checking Your Privilege 12.Apr.2013 10:34

Sappho of Lesbos

Mr. Fidelity, you could have better managed your conflict with that young man by knowing your comparative ratings on the Check Your Privilege Test. Knowing your own Privilege Score and the Privilege Score of that young man would have enabled you to determine which one of you had the right to "diss" the other, and which one of you had the obligation to submit. You may register to take our free Check Your Privilege Test at our website:

 http://www.feminish.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/privilege101.pdf

reverse psychological racism 12.Apr.2013 14:37

jango unchained

dude racism is if anything up here in the northwest (and i only speak for the northwest which is what i know) in revers; black people are the ones openly calling us crackers and white boys (one person had the audacity to call me white boy in the last 5 yrs and i let him know real quick i'm a white MAN). I see the hatred building too, which makes sense because those that could be adequately refereed to as white boys let it slide and that just opens up the door.

I'm that same asshole who posted about being homeless and stuff a while back and I can assure you as I lived in cold halfway houses and even into shelters all in the name of school, I rarely fail to see a black or other colored person getting much more than myself in grant money. Most 'hoods' if you can call them that up here in the northwest are just as likely to be full of white people as they are black.

As a white man I don't feel very 'privileged' or at any kind of advantage at all in these modern times. what i am worried about is how people blindly follow the philosophies handed down from their parent generations. the problem with this is that they knew what they were doing and WHY they were doing it. Civil rights movement has come and gone, and now we've got a black president who has promoted equality in many ways. now we have to worry about people simply looking to coast off of their parents struggle instead of finding their own.

so how does that line up with your idea of educational privileged? and who you gonna say, "where the "norm" is whiteness" when i see the norm for kids now days is white people trying to emulate the black rappers they listen too and the black athletes they're watching all the while listening to black people say "cracker" this and "white boy" that?

you disrespect your parent generations struggle by simply stealing what they did without having a real purpose to it. Please build a real argument instead of simply saying that we're a white supremacist society, because we're currently being ran by a black man who is giving younger black generation the opportunity to rise to fill the ranks and fill the positions of all the white people currently surrounding him in that oval office. you disrespect your parents generation when you spit the same thing they did instead of realizing change has come and capitalizing on it and building on what they left you.

Your academy award, sir 13.Apr.2013 02:33

lol

""Huh." The cop replies, "Ok, thanks for letting me know, have a good night." He peddles away up Burnside with about the same urgency as he approached me, I wonder if he gave two shits about what I just told him."

Or maybe it sounded as fake to him as it does to me?

8pm, downtown, the night's still young and no one called 911?

"I glanced up from my shoes for just a moment to see the walk sign on SW Alder give me permission to cross the street, and at the same time, I spot a 20-ish year old black kid riding one of those stupid short-bikes past me.

"What the fuck you looking at? Mother fucking cracker!" This black kid yelled at me as he rode past. "

This is the point in the narrative that normal people say "whatever". [Side note: which food cart was open?]
But, okay, some people would flip the prick off. What happens next in this gripping saga?

"As I got to the other curb I turned around and started walking backwards, "I got no problem with you!" I yelled. I didn't want a situation, I didn't want to deal with this. My hand slides into my hoody pocket, every single day I keep a half ounce container of Police Magnum Pepper Spray, but today, none was to be found. Was it left in my friend's apartment? Did I drop it? In any case, it was not there. That immediately made the situation a much larger problem. "

Yeah, you apparently left your cell phone and your friend's apartment too. And it's not like you couldn't just walk into say, Mayas Taqueria and let the dumb ass try to follow you, while the staff dialed 911. They're mad busy at that timeand someone would have noticed.

Your story might be believable if it happened around 11pm or midnight. No one's around, drawing a gun would make sense. But normal ppl try to avoid having to draw because, you know, some cops get confused about who started what...

so I call BULLLSHIT.

It doesn't help you keep labeling this nutcase as a racist, as if you've ever in your life been repeatedly damaged by discrimination(meaning someone assumed you were criminal or worse based solely on who they thought your ancestors were and it affected your ability to make a living). No you're just another untra right troll...oh yeah, it's Fidelity! Doh! I should have known!

@Sappho of Lesbos

Don't help. Seriously. It sounds like you're peddling a brand of "more aware than thou", hipster fake feminism found in a first year college course instead of real women in real women's groups. You weren't smart enough to see through this fakey faker anecdote. If you feel the temptation to drag the "patriarchy" into this, please GTFO.

lol = privileged, aggressive male telling women to "GTFO". 13.Apr.2013 07:44

Sappho

lol = privileged, aggressive male telling women to "GTFO".

. 13.Apr.2013 14:22

.

Someday you are going to kill somebody.
Then your life will turn into a legal nightmare.
Everything you've ever said and written (including this latest post) will be dissected and used against you in criminal and civil court.
It's a shame you are going to throw your life away over a dis.
Maybe this will be a wake up call.
Maybe you will start leaving the weapon at home for home defense.
Probably not.

You really really hate short bikes and were actually giving that kid a look of contempt, weren't you?

@Sappho 13.Apr.2013 19:22

lol

bitch please.

you know we're on the internet right? you could be a fat hairy assed crossdressing plumber on his break for all i know.

but thanks for the confirm at heading off a useless off topic patriarchy yawn fest, the ONLY context of the GTFO:

>>>"If you feel the temptation to drag the "patriarchy" into this, please GTFO. "

>>>"lol = privileged, aggressive male telling women to "GTFO"."

LMAO fake ass bitch.

NOW you have something to complain about.

@"."

you wrote: "Someday you are going to kill somebody.
Then your life will turn into a legal nightmare.
Everything you've ever said and written (including this latest post) will be dissected and used against you in criminal and civil court. "

awesome points

*takes screen capture*

aint no shame in my game 14.Apr.2013 23:22

Charles

You know, this didn't have to turn into this. All the "bitch" and g.t.f.o. Its the internet. Only people that far gone are going to have their actions that influenced by one thread, one stulid fucking article on indymedia. Seriously. Fidelitys an idiot. So what? What in this story sounds luke a call to arms. Who cares? Six fucking trolls some guy who thinks he's his own clone and the wkrd "bitch.". How's "Hey Fidelity you sound full of shit.". Why'd I get attacked fkr giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don't even know the other fem. but you've insulted me at least six times already. Some mean ass shit too.

@ 'mark my smartphone doesnt contain' 14.Apr.2013 23:33

Charles

Do we qlwayw hqve to speak in hyperbole? For what? For Fidelitys progun article. This leads bad places sometimes. I understand your anger. Its justified. But all the time?

What are you afraid of? 15.Apr.2013 06:05

kl;

You sound like someone who lives in a constant state of fear. You carry a firearm and pepper spray? Is the world such a horrible place? I grew up in PDX and it isn't a scary, dangerous place. This article says more about you than it says about the rights of gun ownership of racism.

So it seems like you are terrified of everyone, or so lacking in your own self-worth that you need the power of a handgun to feel like you have any power at all.

It sounds like you would be a perfect candidate for the PDX police.

.......... 15.Apr.2013 13:15

.......

"Someday you are going to kill somebody. Then your life will turn into a legal nightmare. Everything you've ever said and written (including this latest post) will be dissected and used against you in criminal and civil court. It's a shame you are going to throw your life away over a dis. Maybe this will be a wake up call. Maybe you will start leaving the weapon at home for home defense. Probably not."

I can get behind this as well as the last statement. You seem like a nice guy Fidelity. Do well by yourself friend. Living in fear is no way to live.

And anyone who has to justify these sorts of mentalitys with lies, though I sincerely believe you Fidelity, but anyone else who most certainly does and has, please I implore you to look inward and ask yourself why. Because that scares me more than just being armed in and of itself. Those are the people I don't want in my neighborhood.

Guns and gun culture don't mix.

To the idea of living in fear 16.Apr.2013 12:10

Fidelity

To all of you hippies who think I should lay down my gun because I live in fear - I don't live in fear: you fear me. You are living in fear. You're afraid of a stranger with a gun. Hoplophobia. Here's the sad truth about you people: you're living in a fantasy. Do you think I'm the only person you pass by on your street with a gun in my pocket? I hate to vouch for myself, but most people think I'm actually a pretty nice dude, the type of guy that's fun to have a beer with, the type of guy who helps his neighbor. And yet, here yall are, telling me how I should I live, what my decisions should be, and how you're offended (actually afraid) by me owning a firearm and keeping that firearm on me for personal defense. Sorry asshole, I've lived in your neighborhood for years, I've got no problem with you, and why because I made a personal choice are you offended by me?

What you're actually saying is this: "The only people I want in my community to have guns are police and private security, who must fight the criminals with guns, because the criminals also have guns as well." This must be what you think, if good and trained folk like me can't/shouldn't keep a gun on them, then who the hell do you think will keep a gun on them? The ultimate conclusion of the antigun/protectionist mindset is a society entirely dependant on the State for personal safety, this also means that dissent from the State will be impossible, as any level of protest becomes a threat to personal safety. Would you bite that hand that protects you? This is not only alarming from a historical perspective, but also morally and practically dangerous for any community, especially minority communities.

Here's the honest truth: you should actually be damn appreciative of the fact that there are people like Nick Meli in your community. Good people who are prepared to protect you from the bad people in the world. Or you can keep on doing what you already do: praising the jackboot men in black who will bust your head open if you look at them wrong. But, whatever - concealed means concealed, and although I advocate for people to do it, that doesn't mean I do it for all the thank yous.

Someone even wrote, "[Portland's not that unsafe]", and I thought, "Damn hippie, it must be nice living on Hawthorne." There are several violent neighborhoods in Portland - like a huge part of town called east of 82nd, or old town at 4am, and other little pocket neighborhoods throughout all communities. You're just not aware of the violence that is constantly around you.

On the common idea that I (and not you) live in fear, I wrote this just a few days before this incident:

There's a distinct difference between living in fear and being aware of violence. I'm not sure if you're aware, but there's a lot of very violent people in our society[...] - I don't fear them, but I am aware that they are there, and so I like to be prepared in case they cross my path.

My attitude is exemplified in this article: "Single White Liberal Female Buys Gun" - I highly recommend your read it.
http://www.bendsource.com/bend/pumped/Content?oid=2224661
"But for me, wanting a gun does not come from a place of fear. It comes from a sense that it is irresponsible not to be prepared. It's really just the way I was raised. Like my parents, I own a generator and a chain saw. I know how to change the tires on my car. All this is to say it feels naive to me to expect that I will always be able to rely on the electric company, emergency services or any other person to solve serious problems for me.

So, I'm not just talking about dealing with nighttime burglars. I'm talking about Katrinas and Superstorm Sandys. I'm talking about being able to tell people to get the fuck off my porch and be able to back up that demand with a machine that could kill them.

I realized I wanted a gun not because I'm afraid I can't defend myself, but because I think I can."


Here's an idea: if you're so afraid of people like me owning guns, ask yourself: is this guy a psycho murder? Maybe I am, maybe this is my Dorner-manifesto and I'm about to flip-shit-insane gorilla style.



Like that Mic Crenshaw song:

"When I go crazy,
just absolutely crazy,
when I go up on the roof,
when I go all the way bersek,
don't ask the question why,
ask: what took him so long?"

(Liability note for future reference: I'm not actually going crazy, this is just satire)

So, what are you going to do about it when the bogeyman shows up? Here's a thought: buy a gun! Have the means of protecting yourself from good folks like me.
http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2012/01/413489.shtml

Also: American Spirit cigarettes kill way more people in your community than guns do (well, definitely tobacco, but you get the point).

Don't flatter yourself 16.Apr.2013 18:14

kl;

I'm not afraid of you having a gun.

I grew up on 136th and stark, not exactly hawthorn. My father got stabbed in our parking lot when he confronted someone pissing behind the dumpster.

You want dangerous, go walk around Nairobi, Kenya after dark. PDX is kindergarten.

I don't care if people own guns. But, I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun or a gun and pepper spray is either an asshole who goes out of his way to annoy people and thinks he needs the protection or someone who is so insecure and paranoid that they probably shouldn't be allowed to own a gun.

Satire...or just someone who needs the affirmation of others to back up his own weak self image, so that he has to brag about threatening someone's life over an insult? Yes, deadly force verses an insult, are you really that insecure?

Your words:
"This is it" I think, "I'm putting two shots right into this guy's heart if gets within arm's reach."

All because he hurt your little feelings! (sarcasm here not satire) An insult is obviously worth capital punishment.

And before you say he threatened you, if you had just kept walking you would have never had an excuse to feel the power of you pistol pointed at someone's heart, really got you off didn't it, but no you said "Man, go fuck yourself" escalating the incident.

And if you want to call me a hippie again, keep in mind I was c co. 1/187 infantry, ft. campbell kentucky 101st airborne, and I don't need to own a gun.

Don't flatter yourself 16.Apr.2013 18:16

kl;

I'm not afraid of you having a gun.

I grew up on 136th and stark, not exactly hawthorn. My father got stabbed in our parking lot when he confronted someone pissing behind the dumpster.

You want dangerous, go walk around Nairobi, Kenya after dark. PDX is kindergarten.

I don't care if people own guns. But, I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun or a gun and pepper spray is either an asshole who goes out of his way to annoy people and thinks he needs the protection or someone who is so insecure and paranoid that they probably shouldn't be allowed to own a gun.

Satire...or just someone who needs the affirmation of others to back up his own weak self image, so that he has to brag about threatening someone's life over an insult? Yes, deadly force verses an insult, are you really that insecure?

Your words:
"This is it" I think, "I'm putting two shots right into this guy's heart if gets within arm's reach."

All because he hurt your little feelings! (sarcasm here not satire) An insult is obviously worth capital punishment.

And before you say he threatened you, if you had just kept walking you would have never had an excuse to feel the power of you pistol pointed at someone's heart, really got you off didn't it, but no you said "Man, go fuck yourself" escalating the incident.

And if you want to call me a hippie again, keep in mind I was c co. 1/187 infantry, ft. campbell kentucky 101st airborne, and I don't need to own a gun.

I think I understand 16.Apr.2013 19:27

kl;

I reread your first paragraph and the true meaning came through. I have kindly provided a translation below.


Fidelity wrote:
"My pistol, a 9mm Taurus 24/7, sat snuggly on my left rear waist, sandwiched between my white button-up shirt and leather belt, my black hoody was concealing it from the world.

Translation:
I have all of this concealed power and if you all really knew, you would think I am a total badass, but you don't know. You all think I am some normal, nerdy guy. Cross me and you will see my power. (creepy)



Fidelity wrote:
"The magazine capacity of my pistol is 17 rounds, a combination of Winchester +P 124-grain Jacketed Hollow Point and Federal 115 grain Full Metal Jacket."

Translation:
The exquisite detail with which I know and can describe my penis...uhh, I mean pistol, shows how masculine I am and how I don't need to compensate for any insecurities or perceived lack of manhood. (sad)

I think I understand 16.Apr.2013 19:34

kl;

I reread your first paragraph and the true meaning came through. I have kindly provided a translation below.


Fidelity wrote:
"My pistol, a 9mm Taurus 24/7, sat snuggly on my left rear waist, sandwiched between my white button-up shirt and leather belt, my black hoody was concealing it from the world.

Translation:
I have all of this concealed power and if you all really knew, you would think I am a total badass, but you don't know. You all think I am some normal, nerdy guy. Cross me and you will see my power. (creepy)



Fidelity wrote:
"The magazine capacity of my pistol is 17 rounds, a combination of Winchester +P 124-grain Jacketed Hollow Point and Federal 115 grain Full Metal Jacket."

Translation:
The exquisite detail with which I know and can describe my penis...uhh, I mean pistol, shows how masculine I am and how I don't need to compensate for any insecurities or perceived lack of manhood. (sad)

@kl 17.Apr.2013 10:37

more curious than you

You are a perfect example of the stupid that can't be fixed. Thank you for your translation of another persons thoughts, it really reveals what an total elitist, know it all asshole, that you are.

Elitist scoundrels like you are the ones that can't be trusted with a gun, thank the goddess you don't carry one because you would be the fool that shoot's yourself or an innocent. Any person who carries a piece and doesn't know how it's loaded and it's capability is the fool, not the one who does.

A gun carried by a responsible citizen stopped a sure ass beating from a couple of punks, and all you can do is spew your silly, pussy ass bullshit. You may think you are cute, motherfucker, but you are just a punk yourself.

Reality check. 17.Apr.2013 12:05

Samhedi

People who say you should just carry OC (pepper spray) or not risk carrying a gun need a reality check about how easily a street confrontation can turn deadly. Sure, 99% of the time it will not end in death or permanent disability, but sometimes it does. Do you want to be that statistic? Anytime someone approaches you with intentions of violence there is the very real threat that you could be killed or permanently injured. I have no intention of allowing a "street fight" to define how I die, or live the rest of my life. I have seen first-hand the result of fighting, when a supposedly simple fist fight turned deadly. Sometimes all it takes is one punch to kill someone. Are you willing to risk that? I sure as hell am not. So I will continue to carry concealed.

That said, I think Fidelity did make a mistake in this situation by losing his cool about the racist remark. I've made that mistake too though, so I can hardly fault him for that. I was crossing the street one night when some jackass came roaring up my block in his car going about 20 mph over the speed limit, and had to brake suddenly to avoid running into me. I got pissed at him and shouted "slow the fuck down!", to which he responded by opening his passenger window and threatening to get out and fight me. I put one hand behind me to check my pistol in my waistband, and then decided it wasn't worth it, turned and walked away. A stupid move on my part, getting riled at him after the situation was already over. I could have chosen to calmly explain to him why speeding in a residential neighborhood was a bad idea, and then asked him politely to please not do it in the future. I chose to get angry and shout at him instead, thus escalating the situation. It's hard to do the right thing in those kinds of tense and angry moments though. We can only judge situations in hindsight, so preparing ourselves for angry confrontation by practicing compassion and communication, and being prepared for danger by practicing self-defense and carrying the appropriate tools, is a very good idea.

@Fidelity 17.Apr.2013 13:14

J. Garand

Fidelity, your "kl;" stalker doesn't need responding to.

You didn't do anything wrong, man. You just got caught in a horrible situation. I'm glad it didn't go any worse for you. Stay safe and stand strong.

@kl 17.Apr.2013 14:21

Fidelity

@kl - Your cognitive disconnect is so apparent that you're speaking in contradictions. "My father got stabbed, but we're not living in a war zone, so there's no reason to fear that you could get stabbed."

As I clearly mentioned in the article, I'm not particularly offended by insults alone (see point of reflection 3), nor did I escalate anything simply by the virtue of responding to language with language. The situation was escalated when the racist dude yelled, "I'm going to fuck you up" and began to charge me. I mentioned at several points, the two attackers were within striking distance of me - if they engaged me in hand-to-hand fighting, my pistol would inevitably come out. I didn't have another option besides telling this two morons that I have a weapon and that I will use it - by doing exactly that, there was no violence used on anyone, there was only slurs thrown at me. How could I have possibly handled this situation with less force? Only by ignoring the insults of a shit-talking punk?

I think you actually did not read my article, or your comprehension skills are just severely lacking. Or, perhaps you have such a personal bias in this situation you're confusing what you assumed happened, and using those assumptions as evidence that I did wrong.

It's cute that you think by virtue of being a veteran you're somehow immune from being a hippie. Not only are you a hippie, but you're an idiot too. I'm curious: when you were in the Army, did you see your rifle as an extension of your penis, or as compensation for insecurities or lack of manhood? I think you're simply projecting your own insecurities/lack of manhood/penis-problems on to me - since you clearly dealt with weaponry in the military, I'm actually fairly surprised you would make that assertion. Perhaps this is also why you emphasized that Portland isn't really all that dangerous as opposed to your personal experience in Kenya, because you want everyone to know you're a Manly-Man, and the occasional stabbing is nothing for you to fear with all of your heroic deeds in Kenya. Just as a point of clarity: it's completely legitimate to be concerned about stabbings, and that shouldn't be cited as emblematic of how safe your community is.

I'm further curious: exactly what do you perceive to be as a reliable defensive measure against people who will stab you? Your cell phone? The cops? Your knife? Please: educate us all as to how you think Portlanders should deal with potential stabbers, or would you argue that even though your family member dealt with this, it doesn't mean that it's going to happen again, because this isn't Kenya?

its how u do, not what u do 18.Apr.2013 00:01

jango unchained

good point with the fact that you were packing and that automatically means you have to consider using it; if you did not then it may have come into play in the wrong hands. street fights can turn bad real quick. doesn't matter what you fight with or without or with what style you fight; fighting is in the details and those details vary from person to person. everyones got their own style. what maters is how you with your style and your weapon/ lack of weapon.

wow 18.Apr.2013 19:34

kl;

Obviously I touched a nerve to recieve such vociferous responses.

I usually know when I have hit close to home when the insults start.

I am on the road right now. When I get home I will take time to resond more completely.

Responses 19.Apr.2013 12:01

kl;

Well, the downfall (or advantage) of indymedia is that the posting is anonymous. So while it appears that fidelity has the POWER of a posse at his back, in reality all of those posts could be from one person. I am inclined to think not, based on the length of fidelity's response, but there is no way to know.

Anyway, on to the responses.

MORE CURIOUS THAN YOU
Elitist? I am unsure how you got that from my post(s).

As for my translation, that's what communication is about. We do it every time we read or listen to another person. Just like how you translated my comments to crazy talk about me being an elitist.

"you would be the fool that shoot's yourself or an innocent" As I pointed out, I was in the infantry. I have probably put more rounds down range than the lot of you (or the one of you).

My point was that when people(gun nuts) talk about their guns it often becomes like listen to someone describe their genital piercings, a fetish. I have two fishing poles, but I have no idea what type of line is on them. I have a bunch of knives, but I can only guess at how long the blades are or what type of steel they are made of. They are just knives, not an extension of my manhood.

As for your insults, I take "punk" as a compliment. For the most part your insults say more about you than they do about me.

A responsible citizen doesn't escalate senseless violence/insults. These are the actions of someone who feels he has something to prove (how powerful he is when he draws a gun on an unarmed person).





J. GARAND

Why would you possibly consider me a stalker? I thought we were engaging in an exchange of ideas. I have noticed that insecure people often take any difference of opinions as a threat. A strongly held belief needs no defense, where we defend a weakly held belief violently. The same is true of personalities.





FIDELITY

"cognitive disconnect" Yes, it may appear as if I have a cognitive disconnect, that is if you want to disregard the rest of my comment. Despite the fact that my father got stabbed, PDX is still a kindergarten, compared to most of the rest of the world, or most of the large cities in the USA. The twin cities might be the only safer large cities in the USA It is so far from a war zone, that I can only guess that you don't really know what a war zone is.

See what happened is that my father was "packing heat" and did the same stupid ass thing you did. But the guy didn't back down and my father found himself in the position of having to decide if he wanted to kill someone over pissing behind the dumpster. Well, he decided that the death penalty was bit much for peeing. You obviously think it is sufficient for an insult. He also stopped carrying a pistol after that.

"Only by ignoring the insults of a shit-talking punk?"
If you think this person is so far below you, why did his comment bother you. This person obviously had something to prove and was looking for an excuse to show his power (now why does this sound familiar) and when you responded it gave him an excuse to threaten violence (once again, strangely familiar). I also notice you mention this person as being a racist, gangster, or black kid atleast 10 times. It also interesting that you refer to the "black kid" and the "kid in red". Is the "kid in red" a red kid? Why don't you refer to him as the "white kid"? To quote Shakespeare "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". I'm not saying you are an overt racist, but it seem like you are trying hard to justify the entire situation, by saying he was a racist. Was the "red kid" a racist as well? If the "black kid" was a racist, why was he hanging out with a "red kid", they are the worst of all. I hear "red kids" hate white people to.

"comprehension skills"
Yes, my comprehension skill are definitely lacking, because I can't understand why you think you should be congratulated for threatening another person's life over an insult.

"you're somehow immune from being a hippie"
You say hippie as derogatory comment. You do know where you are posting? This PORTLAND indy media, this is where hippies come for their news. (Whoops, you just caught me in cognitive disconnect. And I claim not to be a hippie. I still want to be punk, but can you be punk after your first hip replacement?)

"when you were in the Army, did you see your rifle as an extension of your penis, or as compensation for insecurities or lack of manhood?"
Of course I did. Weapons are all about power. Luckily I grew up, maybe someday you will to.

Nairobi Kenya is a very unfortunate place. It is also called Niarobbery. Truthfully it scared the hell out of me, I was glad to leave and I have no desire to go back. I mentioned it because I have been there recently and it provided a convenient comparison, but it probably is safer than Sao Paulo (which I haven't been to), but I bet almost all of the large cities in the world are more dangerous than PDX. So your fear seems unreasonable and sad.

"reliable defensive measure against people who will stab you"
How often has somebody tried to stab you? Me, never. I have been in a few fights, and it was because I was looking for a fight. My last fight was the weekend I got out of the army. Hmmm, now why haven't I had any fights in the years since then? You know what, I haven't had anyone point a gun at me either. I haven't even really had anyone yell an insult at me (except for PDX indymedia, vegans are the worse than you guys). Now why is that? I mean, I have been in plenty of places where I interacted with people, even possibly racist people. I have even spent a number of years in your war zone(PDX) since then, but not a single fight, knife, gun or insult involved. Strange that you would have this problem and I wouldn't. I must lead a charmed life. But them why did I get into some many fights while I was in the army? Have you got any answers to this? I can't seem to figure it out. Must be my diminished comprehension you talked about (sarcasm again).


Anyways, that is enough for now. This has been fun, but kind of like shooting racist fish in a barrel (sarcasm again).

Responses 19.Apr.2013 12:01

kl;

Well, the downfall (or advantage) of indymedia is that the posting is anonymous. So while it appears that fidelity has the POWER of a posse at his back, in reality all of those posts could be from one person. I am inclined to think not, based on the length of fidelity's response, but there is no way to know.

Anyway, on to the responses.

MORE CURIOUS THAN YOU
Elitist? I am unsure how you got that from my post(s).

As for my translation, that's what communication is about. We do it every time we read or listen to another person. Just like how you translated my comments to crazy talk about me being an elitist.

"you would be the fool that shoot's yourself or an innocent" As I pointed out, I was in the infantry. I have probably put more rounds down range than the lot of you (or the one of you).

My point was that when people(gun nuts) talk about their guns it often becomes like listen to someone describe their genital piercings, a fetish. I have two fishing poles, but I have no idea what type of line is on them. I have a bunch of knives, but I can only guess at how long the blades are or what type of steel they are made of. They are just knives, not an extension of my manhood.

As for your insults, I take "punk" as a compliment. For the most part your insults say more about you than they do about me.

A responsible citizen doesn't escalate senseless violence/insults. These are the actions of someone who feels he has something to prove (how powerful he is when he draws a gun on an unarmed person).





J. GARAND

Why would you possibly consider me a stalker? I thought we were engaging in an exchange of ideas. I have noticed that insecure people often take any difference of opinions as a threat. A strongly held belief needs no defense, where we defend a weakly held belief violently. The same is true of personalities.





FIDELITY

"cognitive disconnect" Yes, it may appear as if I have a cognitive disconnect, that is if you want to disregard the rest of my comment. Despite the fact that my father got stabbed, PDX is still a kindergarten, compared to most of the rest of the world, or most of the large cities in the USA. The twin cities might be the only safer large cities in the USA It is so far from a war zone, that I can only guess that you don't really know what a war zone is.

See what happened is that my father was "packing heat" and did the same stupid ass thing you did. But the guy didn't back down and my father found himself in the position of having to decide if he wanted to kill someone over pissing behind the dumpster. Well, he decided that the death penalty was bit much for peeing. You obviously think it is sufficient for an insult. He also stopped carrying a pistol after that.

"Only by ignoring the insults of a shit-talking punk?"
If you think this person is so far below you, why did his comment bother you. This person obviously had something to prove and was looking for an excuse to show his power (now why does this sound familiar) and when you responded it gave him an excuse to threaten violence (once again, strangely familiar). I also notice you mention this person as being a racist, gangster, or black kid atleast 10 times. It also interesting that you refer to the "black kid" and the "kid in red". Is the "kid in red" a red kid? Why don't you refer to him as the "white kid"? To quote Shakespeare "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". I'm not saying you are an overt racist, but it seem like you are trying hard to justify the entire situation, by saying he was a racist. Was the "red kid" a racist as well? If the "black kid" was a racist, why was he hanging out with a "red kid", they are the worst of all. I hear "red kids" hate white people to.

"comprehension skills"
Yes, my comprehension skill are definitely lacking, because I can't understand why you think you should be congratulated for threatening another person's life over an insult.

"you're somehow immune from being a hippie"
You say hippie as derogatory comment. You do know where you are posting? This PORTLAND indy media, this is where hippies come for their news. (Whoops, you just caught me in cognitive disconnect. And I claim not to be a hippie. I still want to be punk, but can you be punk after your first hip replacement?)

"when you were in the Army, did you see your rifle as an extension of your penis, or as compensation for insecurities or lack of manhood?"
Of course I did. Weapons are all about power. Luckily I grew up, maybe someday you will to.

Nairobi Kenya is a very unfortunate place. It is also called Niarobbery. Truthfully it scared the hell out of me, I was glad to leave and I have no desire to go back. I mentioned it because I have been there recently and it provided a convenient comparison, but it probably is safer than Sao Paulo (which I haven't been to), but I bet almost all of the large cities in the world are more dangerous than PDX. So your fear seems unreasonable and sad.

"reliable defensive measure against people who will stab you"
How often has somebody tried to stab you? Me, never. I have been in a few fights, and it was because I was looking for a fight. My last fight was the weekend I got out of the army. Hmmm, now why haven't I had any fights in the years since then? You know what, I haven't had anyone point a gun at me either. I haven't even really had anyone yell an insult at me (except for PDX indymedia, vegans are the worse than you guys). Now why is that? I mean, I have been in plenty of places where I interacted with people, even possibly racist people. I have even spent a number of years in your war zone(PDX) since then, but not a single fight, knife, gun or insult involved. Strange that you would have this problem and I wouldn't. I must lead a charmed life. But them why did I get into some many fights while I was in the army? Have you got any answers to this? I can't seem to figure it out. Must be my diminished comprehension you talked about (sarcasm again).


Anyways, that is enough for now. This has been fun, but kind of like shooting racist fish in a barrel (sarcasm again).

Wow 21.Apr.2013 11:30

Fidelity

@KL - you are a mind-fuck of stupidness. So, now your father was actually carrying a gun for self defense, and yet you're mocking me for doing the same? I think you should go have a conversation with your father, as it's pretty clear you've got serious issues with your father and you're projecting those issues on to me. Like when you wrote, "I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun [is] an asshole", so what you're conveying is your father is an asshole. I'm not your daddy, even though your sister calls me that. Seek therapy.

I'm not even going to go into the "exchange of ideas" that you believe you are offering. You're not providing any ideas, only conveying your own personal bias about my article, the situation, and your view of firearms in general. I don't think any of these contradictory statements qualify as an "idea", just a revealing rant about your personal problems. Welcome to Indymedia: now change your name on other articles to restore your credibility.

You asked me a question, "Have you got any answers to this?" And I do: you're actually not a punk, but a push over. I assume you're applying the word "punk" to your fashion sense, because when I think of what defines a "punk" I think of someone who is confrontational or acts rebellious, at least someone who is deliberately obtuse in their mannerisms. The reason you probably experience little violence in your life is because you don't actually resist people who are bullies or in positions of authority.

@fidelity 21.Apr.2013 18:39

kl;

Well for starters, my father was kind of an asshole. Having said that, I did like him. He is dead now. So any issues are just going to have to be.

But to your point, the pistol obviously did him a lot of good. He still go stabbed.

You quoted me: " "I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun [is] an asshole"", This is not what I said but, it is interesting how you changed it. You turned it into a direct insult rather than a set of options, not very flattering options, but I think indicative of your general behavior.

If we look at the entire statement, not just the shortened version you posted.
"I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun or a gun and pepper spray is either an asshole who goes out of his way to annoy people and thinks he needs the protection or someone who is so insecure and paranoid that they probably shouldn't be allowed to own a gun."

So where did my father fit into this, like I said, he was kind of an asshole. Not nearly to your level, but he was, but after that experience he grew up a little. So there is hope for you.



My statements are not contradictory, they are explanatory. I know they contradict your beliefs and that is why you see them as contradictory. Reference my earlier post about weakly held beliefs.



You admit it!!! " Welcome to Indymedia: now change your name on other articles to restore your credibility." I am surprised that you are willing to admit all of the "people" that were supporting you, were not really people. I noticed all of those "people" haven't chimed in. That is a big step, maybe you will grow out of your penis/pistol fetish.



And as for this comment "You asked me a question, "Have you got any answers to this?"" you have taken it out of context.
I was asking why I haven't been in a fight, had somebody pull a knife or gun or even insult me for years, and yet it seems to be a constant worry/problem for you. You can say what ever you want about me being a punk, but I would really like an answer to this question. Why do you have so many problems with people?

I think if we go back to my original question it is answered: " I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun or a gun and pepper spray is either an asshole who goes out of his way to annoy people and thinks he needs the protection or someone who is so insecure and paranoid that they probably shouldn't be allowed to own a gun." Which are you? Both?

BUT, you have brought up an even bigger question.
Why do you even post here? You obviously are not one of the people who supports decentralized media or alternative culture. Boy, if I didn't know better I would think you are trying to do some kind of propaganda for a right wing, gun nut organization like the NRA or the KKK.



You wrote:
"The reason you probably experience little violence in your life is because you don't actually resist people who are bullies or in positions of authority"

Ouch, you really got me here. Oh, wait no, this is just another insult, based on nothing but the fact that you seem to lack that ability dispute my arguments, so you resort to insults. This behavior works in grade school or religions. (you might want to look and see what people in the infantry do for a living; I have often noticed gun nuts wish they could be in the military but lack the courage or the ability to actually join).



The exchange of ideas isn't for you or me. It is for the people who are following this discussion. We are not going to change each others' minds. We are putting our discussion out for others to judge. How do you think you are faring in a logical, documented discussion?

If you have to stoop to insulting my sister, it is pretty clear that you don't think you are doing very well. I think this could be described as a "verbal pummeling". You haven't been able to dispute my claims that you are a racist, are deeply insecure about your manhood and are a danger to others, all you have done is resorted to insults. While I have done my best to answer you question and refute your comments.

If my sister were to follow your philosophy, she should probably shoot you.

I would also like some answers to my "red kid questions". You seem to have avoided mentioning them.

Once again racist fish in a barrel (I bet you wish you could point you pistol on me).

@fidelity 21.Apr.2013 18:39

kl;

Well for starters, my father was kind of an asshole. Having said that, I did like him. He is dead now. So any issues are just going to have to be.

But to your point, the pistol obviously did him a lot of good. He still go stabbed.

You quoted me: " "I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun [is] an asshole"", This is not what I said but, it is interesting how you changed it. You turned it into a direct insult rather than a set of options, not very flattering options, but I think indicative of your general behavior.

If we look at the entire statement, not just the shortened version you posted.
"I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun or a gun and pepper spray is either an asshole who goes out of his way to annoy people and thinks he needs the protection or someone who is so insecure and paranoid that they probably shouldn't be allowed to own a gun."

So where did my father fit into this, like I said, he was kind of an asshole. Not nearly to your level, but he was, but after that experience he grew up a little. So there is hope for you.



My statements are not contradictory, they are explanatory. I know they contradict your beliefs and that is why you see them as contradictory. Reference my earlier post about weakly held beliefs.



You admit it!!! " Welcome to Indymedia: now change your name on other articles to restore your credibility." I am surprised that you are willing to admit all of the "people" that were supporting you, were not really people. I noticed all of those "people" haven't chimed in. That is a big step, maybe you will grow out of your penis/pistol fetish.



And as for this comment "You asked me a question, "Have you got any answers to this?"" you have taken it out of context.
I was asking why I haven't been in a fight, had somebody pull a knife or gun or even insult me for years, and yet it seems to be a constant worry/problem for you. You can say what ever you want about me being a punk, but I would really like an answer to this question. Why do you have so many problems with people?

I think if we go back to my original question it is answered: " I think that anyone who feels the need to carry a gun or a gun and pepper spray is either an asshole who goes out of his way to annoy people and thinks he needs the protection or someone who is so insecure and paranoid that they probably shouldn't be allowed to own a gun." Which are you? Both?

BUT, you have brought up an even bigger question.
Why do you even post here? You obviously are not one of the people who supports decentralized media or alternative culture. Boy, if I didn't know better I would think you are trying to do some kind of propaganda for a right wing, gun nut organization like the NRA or the KKK.



You wrote:
"The reason you probably experience little violence in your life is because you don't actually resist people who are bullies or in positions of authority"

Ouch, you really got me here. Oh, wait no, this is just another insult, based on nothing but the fact that you seem to lack that ability dispute my arguments, so you resort to insults. This behavior works in grade school or religions. (you might want to look and see what people in the infantry do for a living; I have often noticed gun nuts wish they could be in the military but lack the courage or the ability to actually join).



The exchange of ideas isn't for you or me. It is for the people who are following this discussion. We are not going to change each others' minds. We are putting our discussion out for others to judge. How do you think you are faring in a logical, documented discussion?

If you have to stoop to insulting my sister, it is pretty clear that you don't think you are doing very well. I think this could be described as a "verbal pummeling". You haven't been able to dispute my claims that you are a racist, are deeply insecure about your manhood and are a danger to others, all you have done is resorted to insults. While I have done my best to answer you question and refute your comments.

If my sister were to follow your philosophy, she should probably shoot you.

I would also like some answers to my "red kid questions". You seem to have avoided mentioning them.

Once again racist fish in a barrel (I bet you wish you could point you pistol on me).

Try clicking "Publish" just once. 22.Apr.2013 13:05

Fidelity

To quote another author, "You are a perfect example of the stupid that can't be fixed." I've never had any motivation to publish under multiple screen names, and I've long advocated that PIMC users write under the same name for the purposes of reputation. It's hilarious that when 3 people respond and call your bullshit, you assume it's some level of conspiracy. Sorry dude, you're dishonest and have poor communication and understanding skills. Competent readers might note that the people who commented in response to you have been people very active on PIMC in recent memory.

I don't really see much of a point in responding to your allegations beyond: no, I'm not racist. It was important to note the skin color of assailant because it was relevant to the insult levied at me. Regarding the kid in red, I described him that way because I assumed he was trying to posture as a Blood gang member: every piece of his clothing was red, from his shoes to his hat. I picked the most predominate features of the individuals as it related to my story, if you want to continue to allege that I'm racist, I don't really care, accuse away. More importantly understand: I consider responding to allegations based upon the credibility of the accuser - you've done more than enough to demonstrate how you will substitute facts at whim and make a fool of yourself using only your own words.

You should probably double check who degraded the conversation into insults first, before you keep making hypocritical allegations.

You're not discussing anything in a logical manner, you're actually leveling emotional responses at me through baseless loaded questioning: "Why do you have so many problems with people?" "Which are you? Both?" "Why do you even post here?" "How do you think you are faring in a logical, documented discussion?" Questions do not equate to logic, perhaps if you preposition them within a framework of contrary data-points (i.e., you said "X", and "Y", so how can this be "Z"?), but you haven't been. I'd really recommend you spend a few days researching the topic of Rhetoric and Logic, as it appears you grasp those topics to a rather tragic degree.

If you were in the service, understand this: I personally organized a significant amount of the veteran community in PDX and have been active all over Cascadia and the West Coast. In fact, if you consider yourself any type of "activist" and you identify as a veteran, we've probably already met in person, and we certainly share friends. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for the emotionally unstable 11-series from "1/187 infantry" raised in East Portland - Though I don't usually associate with pacifists, and you strike me as an opportunistic liar, many folks in our community would be quiet interested to know your personal instability and curious views on self-defense. You should probably consider who you might be talking to before you start running your mouth.

I highly doubt I'll respond to your next emotional rant, even if you are able to articulate something interesting. Have a happy life, and again: welcome to PIMC.

Oh, fidelity 22.Apr.2013 19:38

kl;

I'm sorry, did I push you too far?

As for the insults, well, I may have been insulting to you, but I never said anything about your family.
You the one who intimated that you have had sex with my sister. What is that I hear? No apologies for that one?

How is it that you "...personally organized a significant amount of the veteran community in PDX and have been active all over Cascadia and the West Coast."? Do you get them in formation and call cadence?

Well, I suppose if I am not going to let you pitch, you are going to take your ball and go home.

I really like the way the tone of your conversation has changed. It went from personal insults as a way to defend yourself, to the topics of "Rhetoric and Logic" almost as if someone else were writing at this point.

Someone under the fidelity name wrote
"no, I'm not racist. It was important to note the skin color of assailant because it was relevant to the insult levied at me."

Why does it matter if his insult was racist or not? Unless you are trying to prove some point.

The veiled threat:
"I'll be sure to keep an eye out for the emotionally unstable 11-series from "1/187 infantry" raised in East Portland"
Is a great touch as well, but as I said, it is almost as if someone else were writing this response. Like you suddenly gained 40 IQ points.

Hey, when do I get to write as fidelity? Maybe I will start tonight.