I'm drinking on my way to being drunk but that's more my own personal crutch than anything else. I write this because I want to take your attention away from debate and theory and point you back to something real. I state my state of mind because it is necessary to explain where I am coming from and I suspect a lot of you feel the same way I do. I went for a walk on the east-bank this morning. It appears to me between the oblivious joggers and bicycling commuters struggling for control over the little path along the river named after a women whom ignored the problems that the joggers and bicyclists ignore today which is only a slightly ironic situation to say the least. The problem is our growing homeless population. Those whom appear to be unable to 'cut it' so to speak under our neo-darwinist social order. Some of them obviously are drug addicts and mentally ill, others are street kids and anarchists. The only true revolutionaries America has to offer. I'm tempted to join them because I too have had it with American society as a whole and would rather spend my days hanging out with strange female meth-dwarves and gutter-punk kids with big dogs , than at the age of 32 take a job in a call-center or working at the local subway just to be paid less than enough to pay my rent and eat a halfway decent meal. (Assuming the meth-dwarves and gutter-punk kids would take me and not think I was a cop.)
I was a child of the 90s. I was told anything is possible and the Internet, the dream of the dotcoms would bring us all prosperity and never ending wealth. That dream died sometime between the selection of Gouge W Bush and 9/11. I drink because in the years that followed I watched most of the people and things I love be destroyed by poverty caused by selfish bankers and idiotic politicians. I drink because life no-longer seems worth it. I know, I know life is beautiful and suicide is the cowards way out or so I'm told but to be honest I don't really fucking care anymore. Anyways I digress.
Back to the Vera Katz East-bank Esplanade. I have been watching these people for a while. I noticed the white cross at the base of the Steel bridge with the words "we love you Hardcore" written on it. I wonder who "Hardcore" was? I have no idea. I notice that one group of disheveled dirty occupiers seems to have broken through the fence under the freeway on the other-side of the flouting path and taken up residence there. And I'm not writing about people whom created an institution by the name Occupy Portland I am writing about people whom occupy to survive. That kind of rebellion gives me the only hope I have left and I know I am not alone. I notice the truck marked police forensics unit and cops around every fucking corner. And I know the PPB is full of dirty tricks because I know one them and he told me all about it. I know their tactics and to be truthful I think hit run is far more effective than trying to hold ground. I know that's what they are afraid of but none the less organizing crowds is not easy and it seems getting large groups of people whom barely know each-other to stay in one place is far easier than getting them to behave like a true insurgency. I noticed the strange girl with the laptop whom I am not sure if she is a cop or just someone trying to do her homework as she looks a lot like one of the cops I saw in uniform at at the attempted Jamison Square expansion of Occupy Portland. I know that the vets from the war whom became cops see us like they saw the insurgents in Iraq.
I ask myself, why the police members of 99 percent, one of whom was once my friend (You know who you are D.B.) did not stand with us on the day of the eviction of Occupy Portland because they too are being fucked by broken promises made by our so-called leaders of an American dream that never was. Instead they called Occupy Portland "district 9" ( A direct quote from my friend) to distance themselves from what they could have easily become. It is easer to see occupiers, human-beings as fucking ALIENS than as people, for the men and women with guns whom can kill us if they feel like we are a danger to their life; which oddly enough is a subjective judgment. And one that that has been defended by the PPA more times then I can count. I was the guy whom organized putting a tombstone in former Mayor Katz fucking lawn so many years ago the week she was diagnosed with cancer because she did nothing to stand up for James Perez and Kendra James. They died because of her inaction as Police Commissioner. I'm drunk and dyslexic and not much of a writer so I will leave you with this, as the love bomber writes on the walls of lower South East. And I love you love bomber your words are what keeps me from violence. I love all of you and for my generation that has been nothing but fucked I will leave you with this statement and once again I know I am not alone: I'll give up my drunken death wish and stand with you if you admit the war for our freedom has not even started yet. As Chris Hedges points out maybe we need to be a little more like Crazy Horse and fight to be who are even if it looks like we will lose in the end. ( http://truth-out.org/opinion/item/10107-chris-hedges-time-to-get-crazy) Personally, I'm like a lot of people in the community whom do not go to protest (even though I still do) a few of whom have taken to buying assault riffles and planning for collapse. Those people don't post to PDX IMC they are too busy counting their ammo. As John F Kennedy once said
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
I don't think all this passive resistance shit will work but I'm willing to try the 'good fight' one more time if all you so-called activists are, to prevent a fucking massacre. Now Let us Occupy the East-Bank! Let Us Occupy Fucking Everything!