As a last resort, and after actually making am attempt, I finally broke down and looked up suicide hotlines. I called the first number I came to, multnomah county I think, and,,, I got a recording.
I tried the next one - Hillsboro - and got an answering machine helpfully explaining they were closed.
I called Kaiser's mental health line, and got an answering machine. I called every number on the "Oregon suicide hotlines " list that I found online.
And they were all answering machines and recordings.
I'm just saying.