"Since we are able to get away with outright murder, it is high time we dropped all pretenses of humanity and public service," Chief Rhesus said as he chewed on a banana, calling them "a waste of time." "The name 'Portland Gestapo' is much more reflective of our agency as a whole," added Chief Rhesus. The chief went on to explain that "The swastika is a symbol of our core values of hatred, racism and distrust of the public at large. We shall use our Portland Gestapo as an instrument of terror to instill fear in this disgustingly liberal place. Either you are for us OR AGAINST US!" added Chief Rhesus with a rising, high pitched scream.
Chief Rhesus also excitedly announced the new motto of the Portland Gestapo as "Death With Impunity." "Advertising makes it happen," added Chief Rhesus with a knowing wink.
The chief also detailed the immediate disbandment of all the specialized Portland Gestapo units (Gang Enforcement, Critical Incident, etc). Instead, these officers will now be assigned to a new division called the "Minority Control Unit" (MCU). "Minorities, including persons of color and the mentally ill, are not like us regular white folks," Chief Rhesus explained, "they are extremely dangerous. And bullets are much faster and cheaper than a dialogue with savages." MCU officers will all be heavily armed with automatic weapons, sniper rifles, anti-personnel mines, rocket propelled grenades and armored personnel carriers, said the visibly excited and now drooling chief. "GET SOME, GET SOME," Chief Rhesus screamed as he exploded in deadly anticipation, repeatedly smashing his fists down onto his opulent office desk.
Finally, the chief also announced the new Portland Gestapo uniforms that are now being issued, replacing the traditional Portland police blue uniforms. "They are all black," Chief Rhesus proclaimed, "in honor of Adolph Hitler's black uniformed Nazi SS. And the bloodstains of our victims won't show up as easily on our new black uniforms, either." At this, Chief Rhesus jumped up from behind his desk and strode purposefully over to a giant, full length mirror in his office, to admire himself. Thrusting his chest out and placing his hand into his Gestapo uniform shirt in the manner of Napoleon, I bid Chief Rhesus goodbye...