by Chris Irwin
On August 14 the NSM Nazi's or National Socialist Movement and their special friends the KKK tried to hold a rally in Knoxville Tennessee to kick off their anti-immigrant tea party in an amazing act of historical ignorance.
This was to be their grand protest in which they kicked off a nationwide effort to piggyback on the anti-immigrant tea party lash currently infecting America.
Much to their dismay they found a over 100 people waiting for them when they got out of their cars. From the moment they walked out of the parking garage they had hecklers who tormented them every step on their march to their protest site in downtown Knoxville.
Dressed in black on a hot august day they came strolling out to face drums, bullhorns, hecklers and clowns in a humid muggy Knoxville.
Immediately becoming covered in sweat the red faced beady eyed advocates of racial purity found themselves trapped against a wall (with excellent acoustic properties) which reverberated the taunts, drums and noise of the folks from Knoxville who came to protest them. This noise had the added benefit of recruiting Knoxvillains all up and down Market Square to see what was going on.
Over 100 hecklers berated them every step of the 6 hot blocks they had to trudge to get to their protest zone. Turning the corner onto Gay Street they then noticed "NAZI"S GO HOME!" chalked on the sidewalk. Heckled on one side, now they could not even continue to look at the ground in shame without seeing opposition to their position.
A block from the Rally the tired, hot and slightly freaked out KKK folks thought they saw the end--their magic safety square where they would be surrounded by police and these Knoxville residents could not hound them like this.
"40 against 100!" one tired Nazi must of thought.
Then they heard the pounding Mexican dance beat.
As they turned the corner they saw across the block from where they were supposed to get their hate on--300 people that have been waiting for them. These ranks swelled as the 100 who had been heckling them rushed around to join the counter protest.
The Nazi's saw lines upon lines of clowns, people in their Sunday best--and oh my god is that a giant blow up clown? Waiting for them.
The Knoxvillains roared with almost one voice upon seeing the Nazi's as if to say "NOW we can get the party on!".
Upon hearing this several of the Nazi's legs began shaking visibly.
"There sound system is twice as big as ours!" one Nazi screamed in rage.
"And ours is big and black" replied the DJ on the Knoxville side.
Then the sound system was really cranked up and aimed at the Nazi's like a sonic bazooka.
"WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 30 MINUTES NAZI'S!" the DJ roared from the overpowered speakers 5 feet off the ground swiveling on a tripod to adjust for the KKK and Nazi movements.
"YOUR NOT EVEN ON TIME FOR YOUR OWN RALLY NAZI'S! AT LEAST THE KKK AND NAZI'S IN MY DAY WERE PUNCTUAL" the DJ yelled over the mike.
"HERE IS SOMETHING I HEARD YOU LOVE!" and the following stentorian voice thundered across the block,
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today!" Belted out MLK.
"I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today!"
"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."
At the end of MLK's words the DJ's cranked up Mexican dance music as the KKK and Nazi folks tried in vain to set up their sound system directly across from the Knoxvillains who had been waiting and preparing calmly for an hour for their arrival.
Finally --fingers trembling-- the scared Nazi's got their sound system plugged in--after 15 minutes.
The Nazi's main speaker was a gentlemen the fine citizens of Knoxville immediately dubbed "Mr. Clean". He was wearing no hat and protestors could see the veins in his tiny little forehead beating in rage at what he saw.
"WHITE POWER" he screamed.
"WE CAN'T HEAR YOU YOUR SOUND SYSTEM SUCKS! WE CAN'T HEAR YOU YOUR SOUND SYSTEM SUCKS!" the folks from Knoxville chanted back.
"I HAVE BEEN TO ALLOT OF NAZI RALLIES" one DJ spoke. "BUT YOURS IS BY FARTHEST THE POOREST ORGANIZED, POOREST ATTENDED AND POOREST PREPARED--DO YOU NEED SOME OF US TO COME OVER AND TEACH YOU HOW TO HAVE A RACIST RALLY? CAUSE YALL DON'T SEEM TO KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING." the DJ said.
For a tense moment it looked like the paramedics were going to have to work as several of the Nazi's looked as if their rage was triggering them to have strokes. "Mr. Clean" the Nazi strutted forward like a peacock and opened his mouth.
"NOW" a voice cried and suddenly all of the counter demonstrators turned their backs to the Nazis.
"WHITE POWER!!" Mr. Clean the Nazi shouts while urging all of his special friends to shoot their hands in the air in salute with him. He looks up to see than no one can see his achievement as the entire crowd had turned to invite the KKK and Nazi's to rant at the back of their heads.
Explaining this is going to make hilarious youtube video the DJ shouted "Now turn!" and the entire crowd turned to faced Mr. Clean who had put a hat on waiting for everyone to turn back to him.
"LOOK EVERYONE--THE NAZI DID A MAGIC TRICK! HE NOW HAS A HAT ON" the DJ laughed.
"THE NAZI DID A MAGIC TRICK! THE NAZI DID A MAGIC TRICK" everyone chants.
The sound of this further enraged the mini-Fuhrer who angrily stamped back and forth. Finally lifting his arm he yells "SIEG HEIL" and with urging his KKK and Nazi buddies join him.
"Do I see a request for more Mexican dance music?" a DJ laughed. "EVERYBODY DANCE" he shouted and turned the volume up. Nazi's trembled as they felt the bass beat through their guts and fillings as dance music raged from the speakers and protesters beat drums.
Clowns were seen dancing with a woman dressed as the statue of liberty as folks in suits and ties and dresses moved to the hot Latin beats under the blazing hot Knoxville Sun.
Slowly the KKK folks lowered their arms back down from their salute as if slowly realizing it wasn't working intended. In a rage the angry Nazi stormed back up to his microphone.
"waw waw waw" is all this reporter can honestly report from the KKK side as it was impossible to hear anything else the entire rest of the rally. The opposition sound system was so superior to what the Nazi's had brought that it successfully drowned them out in dance music and speeches. When you looked up at him he seemed to look really angry. His face was bright red, he jumped up and down in rage and was covered in sweat.
Even their flags with the giant swastikas on them looked saggy and tired.
Twice protestors in the Knoxville crowd spotted that Nazi's propaganda was upside down and chanted "YOUR SIGN IS UPSIDE DOWN, YOUR SIGN IS UPSIDE DOWN! An embarrassed Nazi had to walk up and try to casually whisper in the KKK members ear but everyone saw offender turn the sign around and laughed.
The second time it was "YOUR FLAG IS UPSIDE DOWN YOUR FLAG IS UPSIDE DOWN." Which took that Nazi a little longer before bristling with embarrassment he flipped his flag right side up.
Back and forth the angry Nazi Mr. Clean strutted. He approached the mike twice as if to speak--then literally backed off upon hearing the dance music and seeing the folks from Knoxville. Finally summing his courage he approached he mike and opened his mouth to speak. And right before his words come out a single voice cries out in the crowd.
"your sexy, your cute--take off your Nazi suit--your sexy, your cute--take off your Nazi suit!" and everyone begans laughing in the crowd which loudly starts to roar,
"YOUR SEXY, YOUR CUTE--TAKE OFF THAT NAZI SUIT!" enraging one sweaty Klansman so much that he clutched his heart in rage and staggered off.
Trying desperately to gather any momentum the Nazi's and KKK shouted "WHITE POWER".
"WE HAVE MORE REQUEST FOR MEXICAN DANCE MUSIC!!!" the DJ's yelled upon hearing this and cranked up the pounding beats as the Nazi's began screaming in visible panic and rage.
"NO NO WHITE POWER!!" the furious sweaty Nazi's yelled visibly shaken.
"BOOM BOOM BOOM" the deep base shook their bones as they saw hundreds of dancing Knoxvillans moving their bodies to the beat.
At this point the veins in the Mr. Cleans tiny forehead began beating visibly. His narrow forehead crinkled in rage--and he came forward stiff legged like an enraged Chihuahua strutting in anger. "No you damn fools--WHITE POWER!" Mr. Clean the Nazi screamed in overwhelming outrage.
"'YOUR SEXY, YOUR CUTE! TAKE OFF THOSE NAZI SUITS!" the crowd chants back.
Finally no longer able to tolerate this abuse Mr. Clean the brown shirt made his signal and the crew of less than 50 Nazi's and KKK folks began trudging away from their stage having given up.
"'OH NO! NO YET! YOU CAN'T LEAVE YET!" shouted the DJ. Looking at his fellow DJ with steel determination in his eyes DJ 1 whispers "command system alpha?" DJ 2 just nods--and then turned to protect the sound system with his life if it came to that.
Slow sexual hot beats began pounding forth from the speakers.
"Is that? Is that Isaac Hayes" one Nazi furtively whispered to his confederate behind him. "Oh no--it can't be..."
"Say everybody have you seen my balls they're big and salty and brown.If you ever need a quick pick me up, just stick my balls in your mouth." Hayes erupts like a chocolate volcano.
KKK members at this point began sweating even more in their sheets as Hayes belted out his deep black love for them urging them to suck his chocolate salty balls--which is of course a recipe for candy that Mr. Hayes sings about in the cartoon south park.
"Oh! Suck on my chocolate salty balls, put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em." the volume went up until windows down the street began reverberating.
Hands shaking in rage several of the Nazis dropped their swastikas trying to get their sound system unplugged so they could walk half a mile through a heckling sidewalk to get to their cars and get the hell out of this town.
"Suck on my chocolate salty balls, they're packed vitamins,and good for you, so suck on balls." Shook them with Hayes deep bass voice as they shuffled quickly to the edge of their rally site.
Upon coming down the stairs to the sidewalk they could see Gay Street in front of them and the 6 blocks they were going to have to trudge over sidewalk chalked with slogans against them and the blocks of eager waiting faces prepared for a few more blocks of laughing at the Nazi's and their KKK friends.
Its must of appeared in the Nazi's salty sweaty beady little eyes like some hot post-apocalyptic damnation alley they were going to have to endure to get to the promised land of their air conditioned cars and putting as many miles between them and this town as possible.
The very first block of their trudge back they got blasted from the left from hundreds of protestors and on the right protestors
waiting to follow and heckle them. As they entered Gay Street they discovered the interesting acoustics that makes peoples voices and drums reverb like its in a canyon.
And of course giant chalk messages had been scrawled on the sidewalk big and proud so "NAZI GO HOME." The only place they could look was up.
Every step of the way they were heckled by clowns, people dressed in their Sunday best and just plain folks on the streets in Knoxville discovering the Klan and Nazis in their home town on a Saturday morning.
Within blocks from the parking garage they Nazi's discovered a secret.
While they had been hanging out listening to Chef invite them to try his treats, half the crowd had left to prepare to welcome the KKK and Nazi's out of Knoxville on the long walk back and as they went into the garage to get their cars and as they drove from Knoxville.
Walking into the garage to get their cars they could hear the hecklers voices echoing throughout the garage as they got in their cars and took a deep sigh of relief.
And as they pulled out and drove off they were heckled and laughed at as they began their long drive home.
By the end of the day well over 350 folks from Knoxville heckled, played loud Mexican dance music at, heckled more and played MLK speeches at the Klansmen and Nazi's from the moment they stepped out of the parking garage--to the 5-6 blocks--during their entire rally--and literally until they began their long drives back home.
Undoubtedly relieved at every mile they put between themselves and Knoxville.
The start of the march--this is a NAZI video of the start of their march.
This is when they hit the parade from out side.
Two more videos:
Here are pictures
link to www.facebook.com
Posted by Chris Irwin at 2:43 PM
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