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Why I am wary right now

Yesterday, I wasn't feeling good. I just moved, I'm sick and a long time friend of mine died. I have come to feel that we good people are so rare. My friend was a Buddhist, a good listener, and 20 year companion of his life partner. This is hard for me. So many emotions have been going through me. Fear is one of them.
I went to the store yesterday, wearing anger on my face, directed at no one. I wasn't paying attention, but a store security guy was watching my every move in one aisle making me feel really uncomfortable. The best I can guess is that he thought I might shoplift or something, because I had a pissed, hopeless look on my face. Sure, that happens to all of us, but this guy looked scared. I see more of this hyper-paranoid bullshit from cops and other people protecting their fiefdoms. I light of the financial crisis, which gets more and more ominous each day, I think people are scared the shit is going to hit the fan and the strings of civility will unravel. We are moving from a period of slow boil, low ebb harassment, to what could be come an impulsive, panicky clamp down by the control freaks which love to have those powerful jobs. Control freaks live by a very different philosophy than us, and their world is teetering on the brink. Oh, and then there's the fact I DON'T TRUST THEM! All power corrupts.

I thought about the store incident as an indicator of what is going through the minds of the sheeple right now. Those people, we all would like to assume, would become more humble under the threat and reality of poverty. What I saw yesterday wasn't that. It was panic. I thought of history, and about what I know of human nature. The gist of my idea is this: For mainstream, whitebread, consumer, their way of life, their security, and maybe their RELIGION is failing. I can get away with saying religion, because a PBS show discussed how about 300 years ago, life here and in other parts of the world stopped centering on church and became centered on trade, banks, and money.

I have felt fear about what is going on with the economy. The reason for this, isn't just about my ability to feed myself. I am afraid because the position we are in economically makes us vulnerable. This was my first thought. Poverty may be our mainstay, and we can face it with the wisdom and experience of experience. Dealing with a distraught, confused public grappling with denial is something that is new to all of us. I mean, like, these guys have been the epitome of crass, arrogant confidence, scowling at us for years. Now they know they can be poor, too!! Things are never as simple as people just accepting that they were wrong (to have faith in the system). Denial, anger, and sadness come into play for the sheeple.

We are very lucky that we have been smart in our assessment of the wrongness of our government, culture and media. We have had years to emotionally digest things, so we actually have had the advantage of being able to plan. Most of us have been poor, so we have some confidence in ourselves as survivors. Who says doing the right thing doesn't pay off?

My biggest fear is the sheeple. History backs my gut feelings. The Wiemar Republic in Germany was facing a severe depression after WWI. People lived for a long time with insufficient food, and the infrastructure of that nation was in ruins from the bombing during WWI. Time passed and Hitler came to the fore. He manipulated the feelings of the German people. For their hurt pride and their rage, he gave them a scapegoat: the Jews. After remembering this, and seeing so many insecure people yesterday, I realized that the animal nature in people may win over compassion- especially considering how fucked up our culture has been in GOOD times. There's that and that human beings often look for scapegoats. I sure as fuck don't want Joe Sheeple kicking my ass, as well as the cops.

I think we all know, that with the media misrepresenting or LYING about us so much in the past, that there is no reason to trust it will be any more ethical if things get worse. I don't want to make anyone paranoid- just aware.

Interesting times are upon us. And it's not paranoia, it's apprehension. 03.Mar.2009 15:46

Exile portlander_in_exile@yahoo.com

There is a genuine reason to be apprehensive. What happens when the system, that so many depend on actually fails? Most of us (virtually all of us) are largely domesticated animals, waiting for the master's hand to feed us. History has shown us, that people in pain, and in fear, don't always think of the greater good. That's why it's important to remember your humanity. Remember to forgive, and accept people fully.

it's not known to me, how the breakdown will progress. Will it be a long, drawn out shut down, or a "here today, gone tomorrow" situation? Anyone that says they know for sure is deceiving. Either way, It's up to those that have awareness to help those that don't. Teach those around us, and help were possible. Help people grow food, heal themselves and create community. those that would harm us, want us separate. They want us isolated, because we are easy to control.

a great deal of this, is needed to diffuse violence, and sow the seeds of a peaceful existence. I refuse to dwell in fear. I will dwell in the now.

I feel it too 03.Mar.2009 21:01


It feels like dark clouds forming just over the hill. But I can feel it moving our way. Everyone keep caring for each other no matter what. That's all we really have. The rest is just stuff.

. 05.Mar.2009 11:25


The economy is in freefall, the government is nothing but a bunch of crooks stealing from the people to give it to the super wealthy, the population is in a stupor. You are right to feel scared. When the food store shelves are empty, then it will get ugly. It will get violent. The fall of the U.S. is assured at this point and hardly anyone is facing it. Most everyone just keeps going about their daily routine. Even places like this website are not particularly responding to the actual circumstances.

the look but don't touch society 06.Mar.2009 21:48

came already to me, coming soon to you

Without socialist price controls,

(a la the Soviet Union or Nixon-era gas rationing in the U.S.)

the store shelves will never be empty.

Regular people just won't be able to afford enough food.