Martin Luther King and The Peaceful Revolution
Carrying forward the work of Dr. Martin Luther King
It may still be the case that some people do not properly understand what a 'Great Depression' is and why it would be the case that the only correct strategy to adopt at a time like this is that of 'class warfare'. |
Under the capitalist system the human condition is one of chronic anxiety because the capitalist system is based upon ruthless dog eat dog competition and people are routinely thrown to the wolves. You can even find them living in cardboard boxes under bridges. It is required that capitalism deliberately create poverty in order to maintain this constant state of chronic worry and anxiety in order for the capitalist system to function. If there was full employment, then we would have capitalists looking for workers instead having workers going cap in hand to capitalists and hoping to become the lucky chosen one our of a horde of such begging workers. When power is transferred to the workers and it is the capitalist looking for a worker, then a capitalist loses profits in order to meet a worker's demands and then there is a lack of money for a capitalist to invest and the system collapses. It is for this reason that whenever unemployment goes down and poverty decreases such outfits as the Federal Reserve will then deliberately jack up interests rates causing enough economic damage to result in the loss of workers that will then bring back into equilibrium what is known as 'the ideal rate of unemployment' in a capitalist system, which is also the 'ideal rate of poverty', the 'ideal rate of slums', and the 'ideal rate of homeless vagrants'. It is this deliberate policy of creating poverty on purpose as well as creating the social mentality that accepts ruthless dog eat dog oppression of workers who get thrown to wolves that then creates the chronic state of worry and anxiety that is characteristic of everyone who must live their lives under the domination of that capitalist economic system.
A Personality Profile of the Capitalist International InvestorMy great grandfather was a notoriously parsimonious scrooge, whose entire life revolved around nut gathering followed nut hoarding and for whom the highest virtue was thrift and the fine art of just surviving, as cheaply as possible, while never really living, to avoid losing to many stored nuts and pine cones. You don't do much living when your entire life revolves around nut hunting (extolled as the virtue of really hard work, day and night) followed by nut storage and nut hoarding (extolled as the virtue of due diligence) followed by scrooge like parsimonious nut nibbling (extolled as the virtue of thrift).
When I was a child I considered my great grandfather to be one of the most atrocious human beings on earth. I would stand outside his home and wait for the visit to be over just to be able to avoid being around that notorious ugly scrooge. My great grandfather was just another one of those manufactured products of the capitalist system, a paranoid, fearful, neurotic, pathological nut hoarding mean miserable scrooge with no life worth living, at least not that I ever saw. As is typical of such pathological personalities, such deranged behavior was justified by all the self justifying moralizing so typical of such a pathologically driven scrooge.
My great grandfather was very religious. He was known as the 'walking Bible'. Apparently he could, from memory, quote verse by verse starting from Genesis and work his way to the end of the book. My grandfather's religious ideology was that of the originally sinful pig. Apparently what had happened was that before God went away on a long extended vacation, God dropped off this book to be memorized by scrooge, while giving priests and ministers the strict instructions to use that book to make sure no one forgot about God. Just because God was going to be taking a long relaxing cruise on the far side of the universe, this was no excuse for people to forget. God also gave priests and ministers explicit instructions that they were to fix God's screw up and save the originally sinful pig that God had somehow erroneously created, by washing the pig in the specially prepared detergent blood of some lamb whom God had graciously offered up to have his veins opened up by a previous generation of murderous pharisee priests. That such pharisees were torturing murderers thus turned out to be quite handy, since God did need to open the veins of a lamb to release his chlorine bleach blood so as to wash the originally sinful pigs, and there just happened to be a cabal of vein openers present at the time so the whole divine plot was able to move forward to its most excellent and perfect conclusion without a hitch.
God also gave Caesar strict commands to use a sword on those originally sinful pigs, should the priest somehow lose control of the situation, and we should such dirty pigs running wild on the planet without having first been washed. According to God's gracious divine plan, such dirty pigs would get one last really good washing up in heaven, since we are told that God had decided in God's divine wisdom to only wash corpses. Since dirty pigs would be running wild until the day they died, it was required that God give Caesar a sword, and since this system was set up by God, to rebel against Caesar was to rebel against God. Anyone who did that deserved a good sword chopping. Either that or they deserved to be pounded with a hammer and box of nails, since apparently God also gave Caesar a hammer and box of nails, as well as a sword, with the general idea being that when a sword just wasn't good enough, when real terror was required, Caesar could switch to torture and instill terror in the surrounding mob who watched the spectacle of seeing some sinful rebellious pig being pounded to a fence post and then left to suffer and day, slowly, gruesomely, for a long time.
This then was the religion of my great grandfather. God had somehow screwed up and created really sinful pigs, and so God wrote some divine book, hired on a bunch of priests, opened the veins of a detergent lamb, since lamb's blood bleach was good for washing off such a stubbornly persistent stain, and then as a backup plan God gave Caesar a sword, a hammer, and a box of nails, so that Caesar could take care of the pigs when the priest was unable to get that washing done. God then booked passage on a luxury liner and went for a long extended cruise. This left my great grandfather in the bad spot of living in such a dangerous world filled with sinful dirty pigs, and the only way to really be safe was to jealously guard a hoard of stored nuts, for you did not want to fall into the merciless claws of the surrounding mob of cruel pigs.
My great grandfather was very religious. My great grandfather was also a ruthless blood soaked murderous thief. You see while it was true that my great grandfather was a prosperous farmer who was making the most out of his 'private property', all of which he jealously guarded like some furiously maniacal squirrel, that fact was that my great grandfather was actually the owner of no 'private property' at all. You see he had killed all the Indians and stolen their land, and was then to be parked upon it like some hypocritically moralizing jack the ripper squirrel. Yes my great grandfather was one of the very first 'pioneers' as those murderers have been called. You can still find some of the Indians my great grandfather did not get around to murdering living on what are called reservations. This is where we are stashing and storing those Indians that my great grandfather did not kill when the time came for my great grandfather to become an 'investor' when he 'purchased' some land.
Such land has been 'purchased' by 'investors' all over my planet, which is why you find so many Guatemalans living reservation style in Guatemala, with Guatemala now becoming the private property of other capitalist international investors like that other investor, my great grandfather. Since the day on which this entire planet was first 'purchased' it has passed from 'owner' to 'private owner' through this mechanism known as a stock market. The entire planet has been 'privatized' and you will find that every square inch is now the private property of such hoarding jack the ripper squirrels, the capitalist international investors. For this reason you would not want to become a revolutionary, for that would make you a thief, for only thieves steal other people's 'private property', you see.
But I digress... where was I...oh yes...
My great grandfather was a prosperous farmer, prosperous because he had stolen a large enough swath of land from the Indians to become a prosperous farmer rather than some pauper in late Victorian England from where he migrated with his wife and infant daughter in tow, to come to the promised land and kill Indians so that he could become prosperous instead, by 'investing' in a rather large swath of land. Like all the other scrooges who made the same boat trip, my great grandfather was just another one of those manufactured products of the capitalist economic system, which then explains why it is so self perpetuating. It constantly manufacturers fresh new scrooges. Much like stocks this land he stole has passed from hand to hand is now the 'private property' of someone else, someone who is not a murderous thief themselves, because, fortunately, someone else did all the killing leaving their hands free of blood.
Now like all scrooges my great grandfather needed to satisfy his obsessive compulsive driving urge to hoard nuts like a mad squirrel, so as to be safe in the midst of a dangerous world of equally badly behaved sinful pigs. While farming did provide a good return, especially for those farmers who had large swaths of land and miserly paid desperate unemployed serfs to do all the work on that land, it was also true that farming was an up and down affair, and there were also all sorts of other attractive investment opportunities for an obsessed squirrel to consider when it came time to invest his personal private money so as to increase his stash of private property.
Therefore my great grandfather became a stock investor, but only when times were good and everything looked rosy and safe. At the first sign of serious trouble, my great grandfather would join the mad mob of stampeding squirrels and head for the exit, turning all his equity into the safe form of liquidity. In this manner my great grandfather and others just like him caused a huge stock market crash. The process is a little more complicated than that. I will oversimplify the process here. What would happen is that my great grandfather, the international investor, would use his private money to purchase stock in the widget company. This would then make my great grandfather the private owner of the widget company, and as is the perfect right of anyone who owns private property, my great grandfather would then join the chorus of other mad squirrels demanding higher and higher returns from the widget company.
Lower wages, higher productivity, higher and higher widget sales, whatever it would take. If widgets were hot then my great grandfather would be involved in a furious competition with the other competitor, who would be an equally greedy sinful pig. The price of widgets would then drop from two hundred dollars down to 29.99, a true marvelous gift of the system of competing greedy pigs, their gift to the world, lower prices, and by the end of the process those uncontrollably greedy pigs would have destroyed the profitability of the enterprise. There would be to much competition for to long, requiring the capitalist economic system to go through its bust phase, the most ruthless phase of competition, where furiously maddened squirrels who remained behind, attempt to bankrupt and destroy the competition, making room for the expansion into fresh new markets during the boom phase that always follows each crash, all that weed whacking and burning to the ground leaving room for fresh new growth.
Well having destroyed the entire economy with their competitive piggery, my great grandfather and those other equally shrewd 'investors' knew that the gig was up once again, and that it was time for the natural business cycle to take its constantly repeating course as the panic stricken squirrels stampeded out of the exit doors.
It was at this point that my great grandfather then went through the process of transformation into the next stage of that scrooge personality disorder. He became the Boston Strangler Squirrel. He held the world's liquidity in an iron claw while with the other claw he throttled the world, strangling and choking the entire planet. He had the opportunity to invest and buy a huge swath of the downtown core for a song, becoming a wealthy real estate magnate in future years when the depression was over and things were booming again. But he choose to hold the world's liquidity in an iron claw and did not invest, but instead kept throttling and strangling the planet with his one free claw, all the while hypocritically moralizing about the virtues of the scrooge life style, for verily he was liquid well around him the slothful and the careless were being starved out, as was the just and righteous punishment for a lack of righteous scroogery.
This then is a short summary of a Great Depression. First a greedy squirrel destroys the economy. Then you spend ten or twenty years being throttled by the Boston Strangler Squirrel. You have to put up with that maniac throttling because the world's liquidity is the 'private property' of the Boston Strangler Squirrel, and he has the right to decide what to do with his own money, you see, and if that means jealously guarding his hoarded nut pile while throttling everyone else on the planet for ten or twenty years, then common morality requires that this is the way it will be. It's called 'the competitive free market capitalist economic system', and it means that a scrooge squirrel is free to do as he pleases with whatever he managed to steal or whatever he managed to wring out of some miserly paid father of Tiny Tim.
The Liberal ProblemNow we know that the capitalist international investor is also Jack the Ripper, the Son of Sam Squirrel. This is, after all, how originally got all his money in the first place. That he should periodically return to form, and be found slaughtering one hundred thousand Guatemalans, as he did during the Reagan years, should come as no surprise. He goes through predictable personality transformations, from hard driving nut hoarding scrooge, followed by stampeding squirrel mode, after he has destroyed the place, followed by a shift to Boston Strangler Squirrel, and then, if he feels threatened in anyway, he then shifts over to Jack the Ripper, the Son of Sam squirrel, and becomes a maniacal murderer. That murderous squirrel will no doubt be found up on capital hill while our politicians find themselves confronted by an obviously deranged murderous maniac demanding blood and guts.
I have noticed a change in the behavior pattern in our liberals. It would appear that our Liberals have decided to send Chamberlain to Munich to negotiate to give Czechoslovakia to the Hitler Squirrel, because now that the squirrel has transformed into the Hitler Squirrel, that means if we are to avoid blood flowing in our streets, it is time for Liberals to send Chamberlain to Munich. After having used the threat of bloody murder to get his way, that Hitler Squirrel will then be heard muttering that he 'met his opponents and they were like worms...he met them at Munich.'
I have found Liberals to be humane people, but signing the Munich pact is not a humane solution. One hundred thousand Guatemalans certainly wouldn't think so. And besides there are alternatives to blood in the streets. Tie the bastard up so he can't move. For this reason if Liberals back down at Munich and start undoing knots one of the consequences is that instead of being kept safely tied to a chair with sailor knots, the bastard will have both hands free to fire a gun.
I am still on board for that Liberal Strategy of stimulating the economy by raiding the highly liquid nut hoard of that by now ferociously jealous chattering squirrel. Or I should say that I am board for that plan provided that the now highly liquid squirrel does not get wiped out by the impending hyper-inflation which would appear to be the only way to deal with a collapsing one quadrillion derivatives bubble, for while it is true that one quadrillion dollars does not exist on the face of the planet, once that hyper- inflation soars up well past the quadrillion mark, suddenly one quadrillion dollars will become available, as the price of one coffee and a donut at some donut shop becomes one trillion dollars. This puts a Boston Strangler Squirrel into a difficult spot, because it is just not possible to convert those liquid assets into some safer form, like equity, because the place is going down the shitter. If a stampeding squirrel were to go to the stock market and desperately try to get back in the door, I doubt if stock prices could rise high enough for any fool to agree to take on the enormous risk of becoming liquid themselves by selling those enormously expensive stocks to some now desperate liquid squirrel. I mean once out, how to get back in. Who wants to be liquid and unable to find an exit?
The Marxist ProblemIt seems that whenever there is a great historical crisis, there is also a crisis of Marxism. The process seems to be, 'step eight-do this, step nine-do that, step ten-quickly turd flush any Marxists who happen to be holed up in the joint at the time, step eleven-do something else.'
Years ago George Bush began uttering threats against China, the 'strategic competitor'. After having had so much cold water dumped on that stupid idea, he never mentioned it again. I remember listening to George Bush and reaching for a shaker of salt and taking that ridiculous sounding idea with more than just a few grains of salt.
The other day I listened to that obsolete Trot analysis that stated that since the Chinese were once again visiting Latin America looking to make deals for resources, and since this is the back yard of some American capitalist, no doubt the process of World War Three continues to build, as the American capitalist must respond to this provocation by blowing up all their assets located in China. You see some capitalist who happens to have been born in America has not particular American interests, but rather his interests are global. As for George Bush, he represents the dinosaur wing of capitalism, which is why he got doused with cold water, and the old Trot analysis represents the dinosaur wing of Marxism, which is why some old Trot is getting doused with cold water, followed by a whole shaker of salt.
Now that was rude, but usually the turd flushing operation becomes quite rude. I am a student of history myself. One solution to this problem, which would not involve turd flushing, would be to create a soap box. That way, when someone wants to reach for a shaker of salt they would be able to do so, instead of having to sprinkle salt from a far distance.
The real problem with Marxism, and the reason it is found to as dead as a fossilized dinosaur, is that the perspective of strict adherence to the party line on rigid historical materialism has proven itself to be false. According to a 'classical Marxist' every problem is a material problem and has a materialistic solution. Therefore Marxists never ever make a moral or ethical argument, but instead they convince the proletarians by means of rational arguments of the 'inevitably of socialism' as dictated by the historical materialistic process. This was a worthwhile experiment to conduct so that the human race could test the hypothesis that all of life is summed up by 'material processes'. When we consider the enormous ship wreck of the Marxist movement, and how she has fallen, and cannot get back up, even in the midst of the gravest crisis situation, we can then see that the hypothesis was false, and failed to pass the test in the laboratory of the social sciences, the real world.
Now a Frankfurt Marxist is a heretic, for no other reason than a Frankfurt Marxist left behind rigid historical materialism, and instead of searching for the correct materialistic solution to the problem of the grave crisis in Marxism, a Frankfurt Marxist committed the terrible heresy of investigating psychology and sociology. A Frankfurt Marxist never gave birth to anything, and failed to resolve the historical crisis of Marxism, because the proletarian does not have a psychological problem that requires some kind of therapy, but rather the proletarian has a moral and ethical problem, for the proletarian does not want to become a revolutionary thief. This profound sense of human morality is so overwhelming that it even overpowers the material considerations of life, and the proletarian would rather sleep in a card board box under a bridge than to become involved in anything immoral or unethical. It is for this reason that a hypocritical system of false morality is required under any Orwellian system, where the Ministry of Lies becomes the Ministry of Truth and so on and so on. Since it proved impossible for 'classical Marxism' to find a 'materialistic solution' to that problem, Marxism degenerated into a dried turd, and the Frankfurt Marxists also failed to resolve the crisis, because they assumed that the problem was psychological, rather than being a problem in morality and ethics.
One way to prove this would be for someone like me to come along and pull a rabbit out of a hat at the last minute, by revolutionizing those most patriotic of Americans, the last auto workers, by both pointing out to them that the historical material process of capitalism now requires the turd flushing of America, and that the solution can never be found in competition, since that is that problem, while at the same time I work at removing the blockade of hypocritical morality and ethics. There only remains one last problem, which is that of revulsion against revolutionary violence, since most people seem to think that a revolution is always violent. I will work at removing that blockade today, by illustrating that a revolution can only turn violent if such things happen as having liberals going to Munich or church leaders calling upon Caesar to maintain law and order in the land, and other such things. If someone ties the bugger up and then someone else comes along and unties him, then there will be violence, bloodshed and civil war. You see, revolutionary violence is a choice not an historical requirement.
I feel that the decision as to whether or not to burn down the Fourth International or whether to build a free for all soap box and thus save the place instead, these things are internal Trot matters. I am only getting involved because I am sick and tired of seeing the extreme right wing swagger around swollen with arrogant confidence because there is no Marxist around, thus causing them to boast about how we will be stuck with that international investing squirrel system forever, till the end of history, and other such arrogant nonsense. Therefore it seemed good to me to send them a gift wrapped Marxist for Christmas. It is also part of my overall revolutionary strategy to render myself redundant, and since I have found Marxists to be thoughtful people, who are only a little murky and muddled, it seemed to me that the correct revolutionary solution to that problem would be to unmurk and unmuddle those Marxists and just get it over with. I will not be starting a Fifth International myself. That is an internal Trot affair. Build a soap box and democratize the place and spare yourself the trouble. If that proves to be impossible then do the Fifth International thing, and just get it over with.
Civilian MilitiasAs you might have heard Dr. Strangelove over at the Pentagon has just ordered the American military to deployed within America itself to help with 'civil disturbances'. Among the list of ordinance to be used on Americans by their own military would be such items as 'rubber bullets' for crowd control and dispersal and so on. Now I will assume that this move was made by Dr. Strangelove, or perhaps it was also made by some scared dumb shits who do not understand the way the world really works. Allow me to explain.
Now the Dr. Strangelove maneuver is a psychological attack strategy, and it has worked, for as I have seen the Liberals have responded by getting their paperwork in order and are preparing to meet at Munich to negotiate with some murderous Hitler squirrel.
One other consequence I have noticed is the beginnings of the formation of civilian militias in the country, as this is just one more way to respond to such a reckless provocation. I would assume that this means that soon church ministers will be in their pulpits denouncing violence. They will then no doubt need to call upon the Pentagon to send more troops. This is the job of Caesar, after all. The Bible tells us so.
Now so far the civilian militias have shown common sense, for it is important to allow the Pentagon to fire the first shots. This is one complaint that I have against those hot headed Anarchists. They always jump the gun and show up to early.
Now as for the Pentagon firing the first shots, and the cops becoming more aggressive in persecuting protestors exercising their supposed democratic rights to protest and so on and so on and so on, I thought I would point out just how important it is that the Hitler squirrel look like a respectable business man. This sort of thing will prove to be enormously helpful.
As for the Pentagon, I am sure that there are patriots in the Pentagon, and in the 'secret government', and other places who understand that the doctrine of the Hitler squirrel, competitive capitalism, is just some washed up prehistoric ideological turd on the way down the historical sewer. You can clearly see this when you consider how it is required that we first build something up, and then tear it down, only to build it up again somewhere real cheap, which is real hard on the environment. I would suppose that by the year 2250 Americans might become so cheap that the Hitler squirrel would consider tearing down whatever country was real big at that time and the process would start over again, swinging back and forth, back and forth, like a competitive pendulum, and America would be on top again sometime around the year 2350, only to begin the historical turd slide once again.
What this planet needs is gentleness and compassion, generosity and cooperation, so that an environment can be created that will not give birth to any more scrooges or any more strangeloves. Is that to much for a truly concerned and caring human being to ask? So you can see that although I am a revolutionary, since every decent respectable human being is a revolutionary, that does not mean that I am violent, unless, of course, I am left with no choice.
I am a patriot. I would give my life in the civil war to save my people and my country from tyranny. I am ready to take a bullet like Martin Luther King. I don't go around the place wearing a flack jacket or a steel helmet. I follow the same habitual route everyday. I am eminently shootable. I would prefer not to join the militia myself, but rather I would prefer to be the one who gets gunned down like Dr. King. However, should we be attacked by the murderous Hitler squirrel, then I take my stand beside those courageous patriots, the true patriots of America, the civil militia members, and all those troops in America's military forces who mutiny, to join the civil militias, as the civil war builds up steam and rages back and forth over our country, as the Pentagon makes some idiotic and futile attempt to save the Hitler squirrel when that demented squirrel was found making Custer's last stand.
The Avignon PapacyAll Catholics deserve a Pope. Right now most Catholics do not have one. What happened is that after Vatican Two, a small cabal of bullying backwards Fred Flintstone catholics from the neanderthal dark ages, used their sharp elbows to ram everyone else out of the way, and they went searching through the back waters of Poland for some priest backwards enough to completely destroy the tentative steps made at Vatican Two to bring that dreadful Catholic church up our the paleolithic era. This meant saving such things as having the ghosts of dead Saints continuing to read the classified ads, and unscrewable virgin goddesses showing up with a hit of morphine from time to time in ghostly apparitions, and all sorts of other stone aged nonsense that goes along with that washed up and pretty much already dead Roman Catholic Church.
It is quite possible that the planet will be convulsed with violence as the Hitler squirrel talks the governments of the world into attacking the people of the world, provided that the Hitler squirrel gets the green light from the Pope and from the ministers and priests and preachers of the world. Heavy on the head of Caesar lies the crown, and God did not give Caesar a sword, a hammer, and a box of nails for nothing, for someone was going to have to use the most ruthless methods to discipline those unruly hordes of wild originally sinful pig mobs so as to preserve proper law and order. Now the Hitler squirrel has already gotten the green light signal from the liberals, as I can tell by studying the papers they are writing up and getting ready to present to Hitler squirrel at Munich. All that Hitler squirrel now requires to unleash a blood bath against my people is a thumbs up from religion.
Therefore, my revolutionary strategy has become to set up a Trojan Horse within the very walls of religion herself, by setting myself up as the Avignon Pope in exile. That way there will be two Popes, and there will a Trojan horse church sending a strong red light signal, instead of that green light which will destroy my entire non-violent strategy.
There are those who might say, 'who are you to declare yourself Pope.' My reply is that I am Martin Luther King, the sequel. If there is anyone else to be found who is willing to stand right in front of a pistol held in the claw of those notorious blood soaked murderers of Guatemalans, El Salvadorans, the teenaged protestors of Argentina who simply 'disappeared' (after having been tortured naked for three weeks by Ted Bundy), yes, if there is another Martin Luther King on this planet ready to take a bullet in the head like I am, then perhaps that person can become Pope. Until then I will tackle the job myself.
Now my first job as Pope is to ban and excommunicate heretics if they do not repent. For this reason I will list off some of the evil sins of religion, and the commission of any one of these sins would be enough to get some sorry soul excommunicated.
1. While the Boston Strangler Squirrel is throttling the planet for ten or twenty years, a minister or priest would be found appealing for more bags of vegetables at the soup kitchen while we wait it out.
2. While the Son of Sam Squirrel is continuing the rob and plunder the Guatemalans, a minister or priest would be found exhorting the politicians of the world to meet the Millennium Development goals.
BR> 4. Any minister or priest who is found launching any more sadistic attacks on my people by calling my people dirty sinful pigs while then preaching that idiotic nonsense about washing them off with detergent lambs blood will be declared the most heinous of sinners, the very worst and most monstrous of heretics in the land, and will be swiftly dealt with. The same ministers will then be found handing a sword to a really dreadfully murderous sinful pig, and such ministers will then fulfill all those ancient prophecies, as they, their followers, and their entire land are devoured by poverty, famine and the sword.
5. The only solution to the problem of saving humanity is 'class warfare' and therefore the most damnable of curses will fall upon the head of any false prophet who emerges among my people preaching that ruinous message of 'peace, peace'. Keep in mind here that our enemy is not some capitalist but rather our struggle is with the capitalist system itself, which continues to churn out generation after generation of such obsessive compulsive planet destroying squirrels, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities and powers, the ruling ideology of this dark age. Nevertheless class warfare will be required to dislodge the final generation of what I am sure will be increasingly ornery shits, much like that Pharaoh of Egypt, who also kept right on getting more and more stubborn as he suffered one setback after another, until finally he ruined himself with ornery stupidity. This highly desirable and peaceful outcome can only be achieved if the offensive is maintained and there are no trips made to Munich by that false prophet, the Chamberlain chattering squirrel.
This is a short list of just a few of the heresies I will not tolerate now that I am Pope. I will no doubt be forced to deal with more of those damnable things as they come up, as I struggle to avert that whole business of fulfilling the agenda of those ancient prophecies by watching you people get yet one last time devoured by the sword you yourselves unleashed.
Now included in my job as Pope is the explanation of various Bible verses, which might otherwise confuse people. Consider the following confusing passage.
"The Spirit of Yahweh GOD is upon me, because Yahweh has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of Yahweh's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to give them a garland of roses instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of Yahweh in glory. They shall build up the ancient ruins, they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations ... "I will greatly rejoice in Yahweh, my soul shall exult in my God; for I have been clothed with the garments of salvation, covered with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up, so Yahweh GOD will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations." (Isaiah chapter 61 verse 1)
Now you might notice that sticking out like a sore thumb in this otherwise lovely Bible verse is that bit about releasing all the prisoners out of jail. There are those who might say that everything on the list makes sense except for that one really bad idea of releasing the prisoners out of jail. However, I have worked in a prison in the past, and I can tell you that I would have no problem releasing perhaps 99 percent of the prisoners out of jail, the other one percent seeming to the types who either have a dreadful psychological condition or perhaps were dropped on their heads one to many times as a child. You see, I know prisoners, and I have found that most prisoners I ever met were profoundly moral and ethical creatures. In short, they were so typically human in that respect. And since I have no problem with releasing such moral and ethical people as the prisoners currently trapped in the jails of our oppressive and hypocritical capitalist system, provided that I was no releasing them back into the environment of capitalism, this would be the correct thing for any true revolutionary to include on the agenda. Marxists see the world in the same way, and as you can tell prophets of YAHWEH were also revolutionaries, because they saw things the same way as well, as any sensible person, who did not have their brain screwed up by that worthless pig doctrine would also be able to see.
Allow me to explain. Now as we know capitalism can only function by creating poverty and a chronic state of anxiety in the population. This is known as the 'ideal rate of unemployment' and every button is pushed to make sure that there are always slums and homeless people around, so as to maintain that chronic anxiety, that perpetual state of neurosis capitalism requires if it is to survive. Otherwise you would have capitalists looking for workers instead of having workers coming cap in hand looking for capitalists, and the capitalist would lose profits at the same time as he lost economic power, and the system would collapse.
Now a prisoner is a very moral and ethical person, and when a society of sinfully greedy pigs pulls a dirty stunt like that one, it is quite morally justified to bust into the house of such an unrepentant collection of oppressive pigs, and steal their big screen tv, or maybe hot wire the car of such a good for nothing son of a bitch. They had it coming to them, and they deserved it, too, you see. As you can see I have found our prisoners to be very ethical and moral. I also found the prison guards to be immoral hypocrites, who would always be found discussing the unrepentant stubbornness of that curious creature, the prisoner, who maintains a stubborn sense of righteousness even though he is locked up in jail. Parole boards are also full of morons, and if a prisoner is to have any hope of getting out he must practice his hypocritical speech of sorrow and repentance in front of a mirror, and then hope that the parole board buys his theatrical performance. Note that this is the parole board, and they know all about that curious bad attitude of the unrepentant prison population, so they will be listening critically to every word, trying to sniff out the slightest trace of insincerity in that little staged performance, since parole board members are, as all prisoners know, truly oppressive social trolls. If a prisoner does not perform to the satisfaction of such abominable hypocrites as those on parole boards, then its back to their to cry upon their beds because they were not a good enough thespian.
Do you ever find yourself wondering why a capitalist system judge is such a prehistoric troll from the Fred Flintstone era. For example, some kid with an IQ of fifty will have his death sentence sent up to the top judges of the land, and those judges will sign the death warrant. Someone could have been dropped on their head one hundred times as a child and have well documented brain damage and those atrocious Fred Flintstone trolls on the Supreme Court will once again sign the death warrant. Do you ever wonder what motivates such atrocious and scandalous conduct? It is because they do not want to open the door even so much as a crack and establish any precedents that might suggest that such things as 'crime' have some underlying social cause, and if maintaining that sinful pig ideology requires them to execute some kid with an IQ of fifty or only half a cerebral cortex, that is just what they will do. Not even a crack will be found open in the doorway of that system of prehistoric stone aged outdated fossilized capitalistic injustice.
There are those who might think that perhaps one should not judge a judge so harshly, for after all, a judge in that system can only be a troglodyte, since justice is impossible there. It would destroy the entire system if justice were done. What choice does a judge have? The technique I have decided to employ here is that of the old prophets of YAHWEH, by severely judging the judges, for they are the judges of the land, and hopefully, when they look in the mirror and see that troll staring back at them, it might get them to think.
So in one of my first acts as Pope I would like to not only preach good news to the poor, but I would also like to take this opportunity to preach good news to our prisoners locked up in those houses of hypocritical oppression, the jail houses of the nation. I remember, you my friends, and you will not be forgotten.
In summary, I am seeking now to deal with the revolutionary problem of religion, and that sinful pig doctrine and all that bullshit about detergent lamb's blood and having God on vacation while waiting for you to drop dead and go to heaven, etc. etc. etc. while Caesar is granted the gift of a great big sword so as to maintain law and order, as God commanded, for the Bible tells us so. I am attempting to deal with that ruinous problem that will plunge the country into civil war by setting up a rival papacy and creating a Trojan Horse church. If I am successful, this will then allow me to complete the task of Martin Luther King, who spent the last three years of his life searching for a peaceful, nonviolent way of converting America to what he called 'some form of Democratic Socialism', since he said that his analysis of the situation had led him to the conclusion that only in this way could the problems of the world ever be solved. Boy, was that ever one expensive bullet they pumped into him. I intend to pick up the cross he dropped and finish dragging that thing over the finish line, and make his great dream come true.
However I must not await further developments to see what happens next. If I am unsuccessful, and I encounter the stubborn stick necked resistance of some stubbornly backwards religion, and if religion then sets up a green light, instead of setting up a stop sign and a red light, then I will move onto my next revolutionary strategy, and I will no longer be Martin Luther King, but rather I will be the old time prophet of YAHWEH, whose message will be that you will all bow your necks as you all submit to slaughter, as your land is consumed by poverty, famine, and the sword, and as the sound of violence is heard all over the land while ruthless oppression devours the planet. In the days ahead I will be able to detect the direction in which we are heading. I am very optimistic that I will be successful, for the Catholics of the world have no Pope, and they need one, and I believe they will find me to be quite satisfactory, but I am also a pragmatic realist and so therefore if I cannot be Martin Luther King, then I will be a prophet of YAHWEH instead, the prophet of ruinous doom, as that ridiculous pig doctrine causes you to stumble and fall and the sword of the oppressor is liberated.
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