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0317 am 'Get This' news

Commentary on the KBOO am news for Monday, March 17th, 2008.
Get This: McCain is in Baghdad, Robert Gates is Moscow-bound, Cheney is on a 10 day Mideast junket and Angela Merkel is in Israel... Something must be up and it isn't the markets...
Chris Andreae

1. 1. The Gods Must Be Crazy: The founding of the Israeli State, the 'murder-by- Caterpillar' of Rachel Corey, the My Lai Massacre, and the fifth bloody anniversary of the wanton, gratuitous attack on Iraq. It's all happening this week. Portland turned out on Saturday to march through the streets in familiar family-friendly protest. Lightening tickled the 'black helicopters' and hail rattled down the 'canyons of commerce'. Then the parade returned to the South Park Carnival and the sun broke through. Even The Oregonian's reporting was warm, respectful and absent the customary sneering derisiveness characterizing the paper's past treatment of Restless Natives...
2. Martha Odom has this to say: The Longest Walk has reached Montrose, Colorado on it cross-country trek for peace; Funk the War is at Terry Schrunk Plaza Wednesday, the 19th (Why they didn't call this event, Funk the Schrunk', I haven't the foggiest... ) And the night of this day, Vicente Fox is playing the Schnitz. Next day, Thursday the 20th is Student Walkout Day. Hey kidz! Meet at the elephant statue in the Park Blocks. And then it's Friday and the Surge Protection Brigade will be back at the recruiting station on Broadway.
3. The Horatio Algae Story: An acre of soybeans produces 48 gallons of biodiesel. An acre of algae makes 819 gallons. And it gets better; algae thrives on greenhouse gases.
4. If A Tree Falls On A Judge... ? The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals is deciding the burning question, 'When is a tree dead?' The Bush administrations answer is: A tree is dead when we want to cut it down and not a moment before. Opponents of the Bush administration say that, left alone in the forest, a tree is never really dead because more trees grow out of the 'nurse' trunks left lying on the ground. Bushwhacked once again, federal foresters have come up with "mortality guideline" to help loggers determine exactly how dead any given tree actually is. (And people get paid to do this?)
5. American Labor is seriously pissed that Boeing didn't get the big Air Force contract. (Labor should be seriously pissed that American Management doesn't know how to design products that people want to buy. Look at Detroit... That wasn't Labor's fault; Like so many evolutionary lines, the US auto industry died out because it proved itself unable to either adapt or compete.)
6. Food costs more in Idaho. (Actually, it costs more everywhere, thanks to the biodiesel hoax. But buck up! There's still plenty of algae to go around... )
7. The Warm Springs, Umatilla, Yakima, Walla Walla and Cayuse tribal leaders all want to "thin" (As in kill, y'know) the herds of wild horses running on their thousands and thousands of acres. Apparently the horses are interfering with the natural environment and not contributing to tribal coffers. (Also they make shitty Blackjack dealers... )
8. America: The Rodney Dangerfield of the United Nations: An international poll finds that Iraqis do not give Americans much credit for all the great improvements their country has seen since the invasion
9. Winter Soldier II continues. Did it ever really stop? Whether Vets are testifying behind the microphone or taking their own lives, the lineage of military truth-telling stretches across time from here to My Lai and beyond... far, far beyond.
10. John McCain, America's poster child for the beneficial effects of torture; "See! I was tortured and now I'm about to be coronated by a corrupt electoral puppetry machines worked by the same hands that moved the cheese on Wall Street." Anyway... Where was I? Right! McCain either: a, Went to Baghdad. Or b, Sent one of his aides to the party store to pick up an 'Arabian Nights' party kit with a fifty foot long mural festooned with minarets... .One way or another, call it a 'photo op' and go home.
11. And the Hits Just Keep On Coming: The Bush administration has managed to accumulate an impressive backlog of Freedom of Information Act lawsuits.
12. The Supreme Court is weighing in on gun laws. (And now it's time to play, Predict that Outcome! I'm guessing that wealthy white male rednecks - think Dick Cheney - will be allowed to own guns and everyone else will be forced to by law.)
13. Bail Faster!: JP Morgan bails out Bear Stearns.
14. It's forty years since (And I use the word broadly here... ) the My Lai Massacre. And if you think America hasn't learned anything, I give you Iraq: The US has vastly improved the financing and execution of massacres. And it is no longer even necessary to conceal the bloodshed from the general public: The general public simply does not seem fazed by the oceans of Lethe.
15. What Makes (Uncle) Sammy Run? With the Iraqi economy in ruins, how do they keep the insurgency lights on? Who's picking up the tab? Answer: It's the stolen oil profits, Stupid.
16. the International Committee of the Red Cross is appalled at the conditions in Iraq. Which is a safe bet if you are sitting in an office in Geneva.
17. Holy Moscow, Batman! What's US Defense Secretary Robert Gates doing in Moscow? Putin the cart before the horse, and effectively anointing the Reincarnation of Vladimir?
18. And Angela Merkel is all set to rock the Knesset with her words of wisdom for the Israeli people on this, the 60th something anniversary of the Rape of Palest... Oops, sorry about that... of course I meant to say the founding of Israel. (Hint for the Israelis: Dudes! You are sooo are punishing the wrong country. It was the Germans (with assorted other European collaborators) who were behind the genocide. The Palestinians were in a completely different, distant land known - by sheer coincidence - as 'Palestine'. (I've said it before, but it bears repeating: Move Israel to Texas. They'll never notice. The land, the people, the whole culture is similar. Religious fundamentalism? Check! Hot dry climate? Check! Lots of guns? Check! Young people in the military? Check! Megalomaniacal chutzpah? Check and Check!)
19. Conservatives won a majority in Iran's parliamentary elections (Just like here in 2004!)
20. And Tibetans are mad as hell - or bardo - and they aren't going to take it any more.