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0515 am 'Get This' news

Summary of the KBOO am news for Tuesday, May 15th, 2007.
0515 am 'Get This' news
0515 am 'Get This' news
05/15/07 Get This
sui generis

1. The Guv wants to cut down the trees so he can save the forests - in much the same way that we are currently destroying the Iraqi nation in order to save Iraq. Kulongoski is seriously talking about allowing logging companies to "thin" trees. (We need to "thin" the population: Too many people want too much energy and too much stuff, in my opinion. People are okay, but their unrestrained appetite for resources is going to end - either voluntarily or involuntarily... )
2. Crime Pays But So Does Compliance: So we have this forty-year-old tax-free ride the State's corporate 'persons' have been on... It's a "pollution tax credit" that essentially hands over about $12 million dollars to industries for meeting federal environmental guidelines which they are required by law to observe anyway.
3. "Terror Helper": It's like "Hamburger Help" only you use it on human beings. In Eugene today the 'Green Scare' environmental activists are on trial and facing - in addition to arson charges - 20 years worth of "terror enhancement" time added to whatever sentences are handed down. (Another reason Alberto Gonzales is clinging to his job: The opportunity to declare 'Mission Accomplished' when the kangaroo court finally adjourns... .
4. Hit The Road Tax: Metro is looking at a tax measure for roads and transit. (Is this the beginning of Americans paying the real price of petrol? Are finally going to pay the taxes required to maintain our eternal global war in defense of oil resources... We can either pay it now in taxes or we shall surely pay it later in blood... .
5. 'Your Papers Or Your Life': Oregonians who can't dig up their documentation are getting bumped from the State health coverage rolls.
6. Oregon's nine federally recognized Indian tribes are endorsing Senator Gordon Smith's re-election. They invoked the spirit of former Senator Mark Hatfield. (But as far as the Republican Party is concerned, Hatfield is not the Real McCoy: We are in a new era of rapacious self-interest, voter fraud and the exercise of raw power... .)
7. Southern Oregon's latest bumper crop of bigots - lead by the Chairman of the Bored - S'cuse me... I mean the Constitution Party - Jack Brown is going after the domestic partnership and the civil rights for gays and lesbians bills that the Guv recently signed.
8. Oregon got a $114 million dollar federal grant to help people with developmental of physical disabilities.
9. Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty is quitting to spend more time with his conscience. His PR guys say he never planned to spend so much time at the Justice Department... especially when there's so much more money to be made in the private sector these days, as the entire apparatus of government is being disassembled and rearranged into classic patterns of deck chairs on a sinking ship... ..
10. Senate Democrats and a few Republicans are set to vote again on another 'Look-Good/Feel-Good 'Bring the troops home (So they can be deployed to Iran) war funding bill.
11. In-Coming: As if American soldiers in Iraq do not already have enough on their hands, now the Pentagon is after their blogs, pictures and videos posted on YouTube, MySpace and nine other websites. (Pentagon brass want to stem the rising tide of truth before it hits American shores in the form of deranged vets babbling 'Kill, Kill, Kill... ')
12. Deep in the cavernous bowels of a Florida courtroom, Prosecutor Brian Frazier says that he knows Jose Padilla is a terrorist because... wait for it... Padilla filled out an application form for Camp al-Qaeda (Give him the nice lanyard you made for Osama bin Laden, Jose... he'll love it... )
13. More Florida Federal Follies: A Federal Prosecutor ("We put the "cute" in "prosecute") in Florida made fun of a doctor who also is fighting for his freedom and quite possibly his very life, against trumped-up charges of terrorism. This time it's Victor Hou versus Rafiq Sabir. Being a devout Muslim, and a doctor, Sabir didn't pay much attention to the "armed madhouse" of American politics and took the term 'al-Qaeda' at face value, meaning 'foundation' or 'base' in Arabic.
14. Rudolph The Redneck Bomber*: Convicted Christian terrorist, Eric Rudolph, bomber of women's health clinics is still at it, despite the fact that he currently resides in a 'Supermax' facility. Apparently the Feds have no problem with allowing their boy, Rudolph to correspond with another like-minded (And I use the word 'mind' very loosely here... ) individual who publishes the murderer's exhortations on the Army of God website.
15. Prisoners at Guantanamo facing military tribunals see their cases go to federal appeals court today. Their attorneys want the court to allow a broad inquiry questioning the accuracy of the "evidence" the tribunals gathered about the detainees - All of which will be tricky, given that this "evidence" is not only classified, but possibly fabricated by the Justice Department under John Ashcroft's iron guidance...
16. Iranian deputies are gathering signatures to try and form an Iranian-US friendship committee in parliament to hold meetings with member of the US Congress.
17. Al-Qaeda In Mesopotamia (Don't laugh... The State Department is struggling to come up with names for all their various golems... ) has this to say to the American Military In Mesopotamia: "Stop hunting for those three guys who were snatched in that ambush: You'll never find them... )
18. Iraqis don't like the American plan for their oil reserves... In particular the part about how American and multinational oil giants get all the oil.
19. The Pope managed to piss-off mild-mannered indigenous Brazilians by overlooking the millions of their people murdered by Christian soldiers and assuring his angry audience that their ancestors had welcomed the Church as it was introduced to them, in a 'SwordPoint' presentation...

Rudolph the redneck bomber
Had a very tiny rose.
Now that he's in the slammer,
It's amazing how it grows!

His Army of God's
Own Bombers didn't understand his game
Now that he has a website
They can see that he's insane.

(Okay! Take it from there, kids!)