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imperialism & war

Why America Must Stay In Iraq

Liberals keep saying we must get out of Iraq now to save American lives and let the Iraqis govern themselves. Conservatives keep saying we need to establish Democracy to prevent a version of "domino-effect" with "Islamic Fascism" taking hold in the region. Here are the top 10 reasons America must stay and "finish the job" in Iraq. Bleeding Heart Liberals won't like this cold splash of reality, but if they look at the world the way it really is, they will have to agree.
Reasons we must stay in Iraq!

1) If we leave now, Iraq will be very susceptible to politically aligning with Syria, Iran, and other nations that are hostile to the Imperialist aims of the United States.

2) If we leave now, Iraq will be very susceptible to politically aligning with Syria, Iran, and other nations, which would conflict with Israel's sense of either (a) having military superiority in the region to feel safe, or (b) the beliefs of some influential Jews that the nation of Israel must be restored to its "biblical borders" stretching to the Euphrates R.

3) If we leave now there will be no military deterent to nation's like Iran expanding the policy of selling oil for Euros. This will greatly decrease the demand for US$, leaving excess supply of US$ in the world, and substantial currency devaluation will occur. This will create a sudden jump in inflation and send the U.S. economy and much of the world economy into recession, if not depression.

4) Another Vietnam like military fiasco will damage the US public's appetite for war, which was so successfully restored after Operation Desert Storm. It would take another generation of Nicaragua and Falkland style escapades to restore the glory of American military interventionism for the public.

5) Without American military presence to protect the newly-privatized energy resources and infrastructure in Iraq, that were once nationalized under the EVIL Saddam Hussein, US/UK energy companies would lose billions in investments in the region.

6) Highly influential Washington Neocons insist the war was a great idea, but it's only Bush incompetence that blew it. Therefore, escalation of commitment in the region under different leadership will ultimately prove successful.

7) If America pulls out of Iraq, it won't be there to block the efforts of humanitarian groups to document the effects of depleted uranium and investigate the atrocities committed in places like Abu Graib. Exposure of these horrors could lead to war crimes charges against many US, Israeli, and UK officials.

8) Long-time US ally Turkey would be enraged if an independent Kurdish nation came out of an American withdrawal. Likewise, an independent and autonomous Muslim theocracy in Iraq, should one emerge after US withdrawal, would enrage Saudi Arabia. Populations in countries like Egypt may become much more vocal in demand for reforms.

9) A pullout would verify the collaps in Iraq and damage Republican political power for years to come. It would be even more damaging for the Bush Family. The possibility of another "Fall of Saigon" blood bath must be avoided at all costs.

10) There may yet be ancient artifacts related to ancient Babylon, the Sumerians, the Talmud, etc., that have yet to be pillaged for inclusion in The Tomb exhibit at Yale's Skull & Bones House. Eating with Hitler's silverware and drinking from Geronimo's skull are getting a little old hat for undergrad seniors these days when that time could be spent playing X-Box or something like that.
you got me 05.Dec.2006 13:09

at first

after reading your opinion and point by point items, I started a rebuttal - but then - I had a belly laugh, realizing your "points" were satire.

good comedy piece

got me too 05.Dec.2006 14:36

fireweed

Exactly what satire is supposed to be!

The Onion: U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy 05.Dec.2006 14:56

notchomsky

 http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43693

The picture is worth 3000 words.

all in the family 05.Dec.2006 19:03

mike stivic

"Son, you're making the same mistake in Iraq that I made with your
mother.


I didn't pull out in time..."

Satire? 06.Dec.2006 08:31

Honest Conservative

Satire? Hell, no! This is how conservatives really think! That FOX News stuff is just to manipulate the masses who follow us blindly because we play the abortion card and out baby-kiss the Dems with all our family values and Christian bullshit.