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1130 am 'Get This' news

Summary of the KBOO am news for Thursday, November 30th, 2006.
11/30/06 Get This
sui generis

1. Surprise! Kulongoski went to Iraq, not Afghanistan, as advertised. But don't worry, Oregon troops serving in Afghanistan, the Guv is on his way. Hang in there... (Regarding Iraq, even Kulongoski says it is a total clusterfuck, catastrophic failed state shitaree.
2. Caught In The Act: : Brandon Mayfield reached a settlement - $2 million dollars plus a grudging apology - with the federal government. The government also agreed to destroy all the material it seized from the Mayfield home. The deal also allows him to continue his challenge to the constitutionality of the Patriot Act. (It's about time lawmakers read the fuckrag and realized what a travesty the Act really is - a wish-list from the people who brought you Cointelpro...
3. Northern Star Natural Gas Company still has its evil eye on Bradwood. The company wants to site a Liquefied Natural Gas terminal on the Columbia River soooo badly... how badly? Northern Star has pledged $50 million dollars toward "salmon recovery" on the Columbia (If the LNG terminal goes in, the only salmon that are going to be "recovered" will be the floaters left over when the LNG tankers flush their holds. But that's okay, because the entire river will be closed to commercial and sport fishing boats when they bring one of those babies to the terminal, which takes all day. (Good news, pit-lampers!).
4. Oregon landowners planning on cashing in on chronic voter stupidity can get their Measure 37 on, but with a few caveats: Fill out and file an application on time, get a final decision from the appropriate city or county and it must also have previously run into obstacles. With any luck the same fuckwits who voted for Measure 37 will be too dim to fight their way up-stream through the legal turbines (Thanks, salmon!)
5. The Oregon Supreme court has let stand its original ruling on attorney client privilege. Once again, attorney/client privilege trumps disclosure. (Unless you are poor, Muslim or undocumented, in which case all bets are off... )
6. Passed Up: Some Oregon students who thought they had already passed the State's standardized tests in core subjects could be in for a surprise: Passing scores are going up.
7. In Seattle, federal fisheries officials have produced a plan to rescue Puget Sound's Orcas. Fisheries are going to protect the waters in which the Orcas live - all but the shoreline, Hood Canal and the Pacific Ocean - apart from those areas; the Orca's habitat will be kept pristinely uncluttered by sonar, chemicals and assholes on jet skis...
8. But apparently word is out on the Streets of Whale: In San Diego, Shamu attacked her trainer (Who, just for the record, was attempting to ride the animal under water and then leap off her nose. I mean I'm just saying... .).
9. The oddly described "bipartisan" Iraq Study Group has after a grueling eight-month think-space arrived at the astonishing conclusion that Iraq has been slipping inexorably into chaotic, anarchy (and not the 'good' kind of anarchy, either). These guys are absolute geniuses, I say...
10. Follow The Money: The number of soldiers who are losing their security clearances because of debt problems has doubled in the past year. All branches of the military are having the problem. Reason why it is a problem, is that a soldier in hock is susceptible to bribery or might fall prey to treason.
11. The Defense Department wants to send more troops - flush troops, not the other kind - to Iraq to join the bloody fray.
12. Khaled al-Masri is in DC this week to tell the American government about his experiences with American Know How.
13. FEMAzing: A federal judge has ordered the Bush administration to immediately resume making housing benefits available to thousands of victims of Hurricane Katrina.
14. The Frist To Fall By The Wayside: Senate Majority leader Bill 'Videodrone' Frist has dropped out of the 2008 presidential race. Interesting race, this one; no incumbent and no Vice President in the mix. They'll have to send out for corruption...
15. Holy Shit: A preacher was arrested at the Mexican border and accused of deliberately crashing his pick-up, then losing his job and his wife..no, wait that's that country and western song, you know the one I mean... .Actually, it was the second try the Man of God had made at killing an old geezer in order to collect the man's trust fund.
16. Holier Shit: The pastor of a church in North Carolina was arrested for brandishing a gun at his congregation Okay, North Carolina, they were probably accustomed to that sort of thing... .But the preacher had been convicted in 1990 of conspiracy to distribute cocaine and possession of a firearm during drug trafficking. Other than that, "he seemed like such a nice guy... .."
17. Yikes! The Statute Is Falling! Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki is trying to cajole his Evil Twin, Moqtada al-Sadr into calling off the boycott. Yesterday the Wild Man of Sadr City asked those of his supporters who are members of the government or Cabinet Ministers to boycott parliament because of Maliki's meeting with Bush that almost Did Not Happen.
18. The War That Dares Not Speak Its Name: Meanwhile, back at the Business End of the Iraq civil war, fighting between American forces and everyone else in the area shut down the city of Baqouba.
19. British opposition parties want a full public inquiry into this 'extraordinary rendition' thing, after the EU report that helpfully pointed out that Britain was complicit with the United States in orchestrating the torture flights.
20. Bolivia's Evo Morales has secured a sweeping land reform bill with the help of thousands of indigenous peasants who marched on the capital, La Paz.
21. Holiest Shit Yet: Pope Benedict honored the memory of a priest who was killed in the fracas that erupted after word of the Danish cartoons got out to the Muslim world that the Prophet Mohammed was #1 Being depicted and #2 Being depicted in a most unfavorable light. The Pope still has not apologized for his poxy remarks about Islam earlier this year.
22. The pound and the dollar: Together At Last...
23. Sarkozy is running for president in France.
24. Castro's eighties birthday celebration was delayed in order for the Cuban leader to recover and also in order to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the launch of the revolution.
25. North Korea wants negotiations.
26. Japan wants nukes.