When the "civilized" Europeans arrived on Turtle Island, among them were the Puritan Pilgrims, a christian sub-cult.
These treacherous, murderous dogs decided to make "treaties" with the Indigenous Peoples of the area. When they finally had enough
forces to wipe them out, they used guns, smallpox, and other diseases. The survivors were kept as slaves. Of course, the christians celebrated
their success, giving thanks and glory to God and Jesus.
Well now, that is not exactly right. Let's start again, because this is how it really went down.
The christians in Europe were busy inflicting religious persecution against each other, as well as being threatened with death by the ruling
elites of the time. Desperately seeking a trouble-free place, they attempted to settle in the Netherlands, which did not work out.
They decided that the "new world" was the best bet, because it was an empty land with no people and they were people "without a land."
Taking up immediate residence upon their arrival, the colonists established diplomatic relations with the Wampanoag and other tribes,
who had been decimated previously by settlers who had arrived earlier. The Wampanoag also faced hostilities from other tribes, so their
coalition with the colonists brought freedom and peace to the "new world."
As more and more Europeans arrived, they needed more living room. Like all Indigenous Peoples of Turtle Island, the Wampanoag had no
system of land ownership and property rights. Their world had no need of electric dams, pancake houses, real estate offices, or variable-rate
mortgages. Following the dictates of their religions, the christians used various "cures" to eliminate the "defective savages". This allowed them
to "buy and own" the land, and Indigenous Peoples became the "property" of the colonists.
Resisting the continuing theft of their lands by the judeo-christian "civilization", the Indigenous Peoples of Turtle Island became engaged in acts
of terrorism. Some of these terrorists committed suicide missions to murder the "innocent" colonizers. They hated the European freedoms, and
they were all cults of death. Their irrational resistance was due to their "savage mumbo-jumbo" that celebrated the extermination of their
enemies, as well as their use of locoweed, peyote, or other "satanic drugs."
The Natives hated the freedoms and life-styles of the colonists and no longer greeted them as liberators, with red carpets, flowers, and hugs.
Military actions against the natives had to continue because they were a terrorist threat to all of Europe. These terrorists were armed with
bows, arrows, and other weapons of mass destruction.
The colonists claimed the right to act in self-defense and began a war of pre-emptive strikes to exterminate the terrorists and the societies
that created them. If you were not with them, you were against them.
The colonial government promised peace and protection to those Natives who accepted their "peace" terms, and then given the "choice" of
alternative living arrangements. The colonists were beside themselves with glee because they had just given the gift of democracy to the
Today the colonial descendants celebrate their thanks-taking holiday to pay tribute and honour to the memory of their colonial ancestors,
as well as the invaluable assistance they lovingly and unselfishly provided in giving the "noble savages" eternal life through christianity and
Now, pass the Buffalo roast.