After Ryan's Suicide
by Eileen Wednesday October 25, 2006 at 09:40 AM
I found 100's of ppl on this myspace page that was dedicated to the memory of my first <3 who committed suicide. None of these people felt the need to tell me about it and they chose to live in his ghostly shadows instead. In case the 'controller of information' doesn't distribute my words, here it is on this uncensored medium for all eyes to witness... In conclusion to noticing the 1/2 truths projected, I deleted this fucken myspace and will continue to live my life in TRUTH LOVE and EXCELLENCE, nothing else. In the future, I hope that what they didn't do for me, they'll do for others.
i hope out of your love for ryan you post this:
~his ashes are with me now; he told me ahead of time what to do with them
~i wish the ppl on this virus.eye site had the courage to tell me about this intentional congregation in real life so that i didn't feel the need to literally get away from vegas to heal from it and find this by accident.
~i wish the ppl on this site would have given me a hug to tell me it would be okay after it happened instead of a. pretending i didn't exist or b. offering me hate and/or meth/drugs as an escape.
~i wish ppl on this site would have helped me plan his memorial service out of celebration of his
life so i didn't have to do it all ALONE.
~i wish ppl here would collect the energy from his passing to create an 'awesome world' for his little sister to live in this coming decade when water and life will be more scarce so that there will be a hope and future tyme of life being kind so she'll have strength to see past her brother and grandpa's shameless suicides so the process won't repeat itself again.
~out of this energy i hope peewee that you build a stairway to freedom and see beyond the darkness with your magikal lense and you were an actively awesome brother to him in the dark hours
if you're goin to be a ghost at least be happie bout it
in peace n <3
(poem for when brother dan n i fled the place)
Gettin the fuck out when we should
Exodus, sin city exodus
Your parents woulda left, ya know they would
link to www.reviewjournal.com The Clark County Detention Center left his body hanging in his cell for lots of hours before they did anything about it, yet they classifed this person who wasn't scared to think for himself in the midst of lies 'schitzophrenic'. Then they called me the next day on the telephone to 'break the news' to me.