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1003 am 'Get This' news

Summary of the KBOO am news for Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006.
1. Local media is all atwitter over the money that is pouring into the Governor's race. Saxton has surged ahead and has been mesmerizing the hinterlands with slick ads for months now. Silent Ted, on the other hand, is going with the 11th hour sprint. And Karl Rove? Oh he's probably celebrating by rolling around in a pile of money in the broom closet of an Indian casino...
2. Open Season on the Constitution: The Supreme Court in session with John Roberts and Sam Alito. Been putting off that abortion you've been meaning to have? Make an appointment now. Today.
3. Veterans are running for public office in Oregon
4. The Bonneville Power Authority is cutting rates for the fourth year in a row. Nothing to complain about there really. It's a simple accounting shell game. Pity we can't get rid of a few dams once in a while. I'd rather have free flowing rivers that cheap electricity.
5. Diamond Lake is full of smelly dead fish. Rotenone, y'know. (What did Fish & Wildlife expect? The fish would vaporize? Be picked up by aliens? The 'Rapture'?
6. Fish Lice! It's What's for Dinner!: Parasites from fish farms are killing 95 percent of young wild salmon that migrate past the facilities.
7. Measure 41 could undermine Oregon's economic recovery by shortchanging schools and shifting the cost of health care for the poor onto business and insured ... And that's just for starters...
8. School officials in Nyssa, Oregon are defending a seventh-grade social studies unit on Islam intended to foster a better understanding to the world and the people who share it. But harebrained cracker Kendlee Garner is upset because her little fuckwit boy was exposed to Them Dang Towelheads without her approval. The school sent the kid to the library where he no doubt amused himself playing Soldier of Fortune on the computer...
9. At the SeaTac airport, a man from Detroit was detained - he missed his flight - for speaking Tamil. Tamil is the lingua franca of Tamil Nadu, the State down south on India's pointy bit. But it is spoken worldwide. Apparently a passenger (No doubt an inbred relative of Kendlee Garner..) complained that the man seemed "suspicious."
10. Three little girls were shot yesterday in their one room Amish school by a nut case with a grudge (Kendlee Garner, for instance. I expect she's still pissed with the Nyssa School District for attempting to pry open her son's tiny little mind. Ah well, he'll enlist in a few years and get sent to Iran. It's called karma. Get used to it... ). Two more of the children in the room died this morning. This is the third school shooting in less than a week. (This is a deeply disturbed nation. We are the very barbarians we fear. We built a wall to keep them out and then we looked around at ourselves... )
11. The editor of the Miami Herald quit because some of the journalists working on the Spanish language of the paper were paid to appear on US government broadcasts aimed at promoting the overthrow of the Castro government in Cuba.
12. Cheaper by the Dungeon: WalMart wants to create a cheaper more flexible work force by capping wages, using more part-time workers and scheduling more staff on nights and weekends. Thus creating greater poverty and stress for the families dependent on WalMart wages...
13. No Thanks for Memories: Condoleeza Rice says she has "no memory" of a meeting back in the Summer of 2001 at which then CIA Chief George Tenet told her in no uncertain terms that an al Qaeda was in the works. Something like that, you'd think it would stick in your mind...
14. Even Conservatives (Not to be confused with Neocons... ) think Dennis Hastert should resign (Progressives believe Hastert never had any business directing traffic in the government in the first place... ) over PageGate.
15. A group of fourteen Senators want an investigation of the Bush administration's repeated interference with Federal scientists who have tried to publish research or speak to the media about the reality of global climate change. They were inspired by a piece in 'Nature' last week detailed the manner in which the administration blocked publication of federal research compiled by NOAA scientists on the increasing frequency and intensity of hurricane.
16. The European Space Agency says the loss of the ozone layer over Antarctica has hit another all-time high.
17. Booyakasha! The Anti-Defamation League is in a tizzy over Sasha Baron Cohen's Borat movie. (It's already banned in Kazakhstan... What more do you want?)
18. Another 11 more soldiers have bitten the Iraqi dust in the last few days. They wouldn't have much better luck in an Amish schoolroom in Pennsylvania. But I digress. Violence breeds violence anywhere you go.
19. Undeterred, Iraqi PM Nouri al-Maliki is forging ahead with a plan for national unity. Iraq, recall, had a "plan for national unity": It was called Saddam Hussein and it was put in place by the United States.
20. Hamas has been forced to close government offices. (So at least one American "plan" in the Middle East has been an unqualified success... )
21. Killing Is Their Business ... and you know the rest... Global military spending is estimated to top $1 trillion dollars this year.
22. Mexico doesn't like this fence plan at all.
23. The world's 20 top polluters are meeting in Monterey, Mexico to talk about ways of confronting the coming crises triggered by irreversible climate change - Just kidding! They're really guzzeling Margaritas, huffing fat rails and boffing the Local Talent...

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