1. Dead Zone: A vast pool of oxygen-starved seawater is killing everything that can't swim fast enough to get away all along the Oregon and Washington coast. The OSU researchers who are studying the Dead Zone say that it is presages increasingly unpredictable ocean behavior.
2. State Representative and aspiring right-wing radio talk show screamer Jeff Kropf is dropping his re-election bid in favor of his career in show biz.
3. Darlene Hooley is far ahead of her Republican challenger in fund-raising. Finally! A Democrat who has figured out how the system works rather than being worked over by the system.
4. Governor Kulongoski has seen the writing on the wall and the writing says 'Fire!' The Guv has gone ahead and declared a coming state of emergency in the expectation of a blazing wildfire season.
5. 'Win One For The Bigots': Washington turned down a perfectly good opportunity to do the right thing. The State Supreme court upheld the law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Justice Barbara Madsen wrote that the existing law was enacted "to promote procreation and to encourage stable families." (If your marriage heads south because people you don't even know are getting married, then it may be way too late for counseling; better cut to the chase and get on anti-psychotics ASAP.
6. Yesterday around noon in Pioneer Court House Square a small but loud rabble of Zionists gathered to let downtown Portland know that criticism of Israel is anti-Semitic. (And it makes them feel "persecuted". Of course targeting Lebanese and Palestinian civilians - that's not persecution?)
7. Exxon Mobil posted the second highest earnings of any company anywhere in the Solar System and perhaps beyond. $10.36 billion dollars! Gas prices are hovering around $3 a gallon. And General motors and Ford are hemorrhaging money. (If the car makers were smart enough to make cars people wanted to buy or the buyers were dumb enough to buy the cars car makers make, then "This war would be over... " - from Apocalypse Now)
8. The City of Big Shoulders: Chicago passed a law raising the minimum wage to $9.25 an hour.
9. Strangers With Money: Among John Bolton's most ardent supporters is the Zionist Organization of America.
10. The Department of Homeland Security is guilty of wasting massive sums of taxpayers' money (which they need badly to pay for gas). What people don't understand is that there is more than enough money floating around and the DHS was never meant to protect people from anything; it is merely a decorative way to accessorize Fear.
11. An Ohio college professor has been accused by Israel of spying for Hezbollah. Ghazi Falah is geologist professor at the University of Akron. He was taking pictures of interesting geological features in Northern Israel when all of a sudden... .
12. Conservatives (for once in agreement with North Korea, although North Korea voiced its displeasure with Condi's performance on the world stage) say Condoleeza Rice is incompetent and ought to be transferred to an advisory role.
13. A former CIA (But I thought you never really left The Company... ) says that the US is considering sending troops into Lebanon. (I'm pretty sure they are already there, just on the other side... )
14. Fuzzy Math: The US is going to increase the number of troops in Iraq by keeping the ones that are already there longer. That is if it can also keep them from getting killed on a regular basis.
15. The Airforce Times says that veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are having a harder time finding a job than their peers who did not serve in the military (When will people understand that 'killing people' looks bad on a resume?)
16. Four baby California Condors died.
17. Holy War, Batman! Ayman al-Zawahiri (or as he is known in the western press, al Qaeda's number 2 leader) has called for a Holy War until "Islam reigns from Iraq to Spain" - (Zawahiri might just have a second career writing show tunes... but he definitely should keep his day job).
18. Israel says it won't expand its ground offensive (and you believe this?)
19. An Israeli follower of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has got the whole Middle East trouble figured out. Reuven Zelinkovosky plans to use Yogic Flyers to build a 'Shield of Invincibility' around Israel. (I like it! It seems harmless enough. And except for the cost of meditation lessons, it's cheap. Plus anything that contains Israeli aggression has got to be a good idea... )
20. Iran is warning of a Middle East storm. Apparently Mahmoud Ahmedinejad hasn't heard the good news about the 'Flying Yogi Option'.
21. Israeli military attacks in the Gaza Strip have killed 23 Palestinians, among them a three-year-old girl.
22. Just as Liberia's president Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf was set to host a reception for visiting heads of state and celebrate getting the electrical grid up and running and the water back on... Whaaa? A fire breaks out at Liberia's presidential offices. Hmmmmm... .
23. In Britain, firms are being told to cut the amount of packaging they use.
24. In Space, satellite photos say the earth is burning up - also suffocating itself...