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The Second American Revolution :The Sleeping Giant

No one who works yeast into a lump of dough, kneads that lump of dough forever, but the lump is left to rise in a warm place. With that in mind I thought I would stop spamming, which is kneading the lump, and just let it rise. But before I do I thought it good to clearly explain the right revolutionary strategy as I see it, just in case there is someone who might still be wondering just what should be done.
Everyone knows what that sleeping Giant is like. That Giant always sleeps late into the morning, never getting up early, thus giving some chef the confidence required to whip up a really bad souffle in the middle of the night. For this reason it is always necessary for people to start banging pots and pans outside so as to wake up that sleeping Giant, so the Giant can catch the cook preparing a really bad souffle, and that being a Giant, then all hell will break lose, for it turns out that there is no such thing as power, which is why people are brainwashed, and once you've lost your marbles you've also lost your guns, and so that so called fall back position does not work out for chefs. If they can't serve really bad souffles, they can start shooting, so they would like everyone to believe, the only problem being that the whole country is armed to the teeth and those chefs are not known for doing their own shooting but rather they always get someone else to do it for them, for it turns out there are not enough chefs to gun down entire nations, chefs being a rare breed.

Now we all know what sleeping Giants are like. When someone bangs pots and pans in the middle of the night and wakes up that Giant, the Giant gets really bad tempered and comes over to the window and yells at everyone to stop banging those damned pots and pans. After that the Giant will go back to bed and try and get some more sleep. Happens all the time.

Should irritable Giants go back to bed and try to get more sleep the correct revolutionary strategy is to bang more pots and pans, and keep catching hell from that annoyed Giant. Finally the Giant will ask you people why you will not stop banging pots and pans after having caught for it before, and then you can explain the bit about how there is this bad chef down in the kitchen whipping up a really nasty souffle, and the reason that you were banging pots is that you wanted the Giant to go down to the kitchen, check out the souffle, read the recipe and see its list of ingredients, and then the Giant being the Giant, and the chef just being a chef, you were hoping that once the Giant saw what a bad chef that was the Giant would then plow that rotten souffle right into that chefs face like a pie in the face.

Well we all know what those Giants are like. After having heard all that the Giant will be very skeptical, having heard all that weird sounding nonsense from a bunch of crazy pot bangers, which the Giant has been learning from informed sources during a life time, is not a source of reliable information. However, since it will be obvious to that Giant that you are not going to stop banging pots and pans, and since the Giant has learned to be suspicious of that Chef in hundreds of small ways, that Giant will have enough suspicion to at least go down to the kitchen and check things out, even if it is only for the reason that the Giant can come back to the window to yell at you pot bangers and tell you to get lost, since it turned out that it was a delicious chocolate souffle, and thus the chef was being very thoughtful, and a great humanitarian, staying up all night out of love for that Giant, so that Giant could be wonderfully surprised in the morning by a lovely chocolate souffle, made from the finest ingredients and the very best recipe.

This could happen if that was a chocolate souffle, but it is not a chocolate souffle, nor is it made from fine ingredients. Far from it. This will of course make Giants very angry, because that Giant has taken lots of crap from that Chef and been pissed off at the Chef over and over again for years, but even so, never did that Giant think that this squirrly chef would lose all his marbles and try pulling a really dirty stunt like one. What will make matters even worse is that the Giant will then find out about how the Chef was planning to poison the Giant, leaving that Giant bedridden, simply because the Chef had mortgaged the house to do some gambling, and lost his shirt and all his marbles, and now it turns out that both the Chef and the Giant were about to be evicted for bankruptcy, and so the Chef hatched a plot against the Giant.

Believe me, once the Giant finds out about the devious plotting of that Chef then the shit will really hit the fan. It probably wouldn't hurt to mention something about that gambling and the eviction notice to that Giant when that Giant comes to the window to yell at everyone for trying to wake up a sleeping Giant while some bad Chef is busy trying to cover up the loss of the Giant's house by whipping up a souffle to use against that Giant in the morning.

homepage: homepage: http://www.awitness.org

Snoring Giant 15.Jul.2006 21:56

here here

Yeah, but its hard to know when the giant is just going to roll over and hit the snooze button...yet again.