NOBODY FOR PRESIDENT Wavy Gravy, Interviewed
YT: We are here with Wavy Gravy, Nobody's campaign manager.
WG: Nobody's fool. Nobody is in charge.
YT: Wavy, a lot of people have expressed skepticism over the chances of your candidate's ever attaining public office. How would you repond to that?
WG: If they just would look at linear information, they would discover that 43% of all eligible voters in the last election voted for Nobody. So Nobody has been in office for quite some time. In fact if they would look at the record they would discover that Nobody lowered their taxes last year, Nobody balanced the budget, Nobody stopped the war, Nobody is feeding the hungry and the destitute, and Nobody loves you when you are down and out.
YT: I am glad to hear that things are going all right in this country.
WG: Well, we thought that if we made Nobody the official president, then Nobody would feed all the people and stop the war against the poor.
YT: Some people have said that Nobody is fuzzy on the issues. How does Nobody stand on busing?
WG: Well, have you ever seen a bus with Nobody in it? Nobody thinks that people should be in buses and take those buses where they want to go. A geology class could get in a bus and drive to the Grand Canyon to study geology. We think that the schools should be moved out of the classrooms and into the various buses and that kids should live on the buses and visit various people like Buckminster Fuller and learn how the planet is put together and how the planet is fucked up. Then give them microphones and send them out to speak on the issues. Nobody wants to organize children, because Nobody believes that America will listen to the children.
They can't hear from us anymore. Never trust anybody over 9. No, I would say 11.1 will amend that! All children between 7 and 11 would be required to ride in the buses. They will then be bused around from city to city, and from national park to national park, just to see how this whole scene is put together. Then we have a future, see, because these kids would understand what is happening.
YT: How does Nobody feel about cities?
WG: They should be evacuated. Evacuate the cities slowly, it's a rear guard action, working out of collectives, and working together. Cities should have to do with human beings, i.e., the designs of Paolo Solari, a living organism, and people flow through it like blood. There is a majesty and a magic that motivates people to start working around the reasons why people first came together in the first place, to get high together. Nobody thinks that everybody should work toward keeping everybody high 3 months a year and the remaining 9 months they could discover who they are and do their thing, whatever it might be, a poet or a shoemaker or an inventor, they could let the wind blow through their heart and discover who they are, and discover the wage slave system.
YT: Now suppose that Nobody takes office. How are the Russians going to react?
WG: There might be another Russian Revolution! We would be living what the first preached when they started the boogie.
YT: Who is Nobody's vice president?
YT: Nobody again? How can he be president and vice president at the same time? Suppose Nobody gets assassinated?
WG: It is impossible to assassinate Nobody
YT: The CIA has developed super sophisticated assassination techniques. They can go out in the woods and fire their poison dart guns into the air and the dart will lay harmlessly on the ground and they won have assassinated Nobody!
WG: I understand, I understand Abraham Lincoln once said a pig does not believe anything that he can't see. So at the Conve tion parade with Nobody in the back of tf convertible, when the ticker tape is flyin we will have a couple of real live assassinatk attempts, and you will see that Nobody is i fucking-destructable. Nobody lives forevi and nobody lives on nothing. We don't have to conduct these costly presidential car paigns anymore. We are going to have motorcade down on Main St. in Kansas Gt Motorcycle escort and the one car. We have a picture of Nobody at the house Berkeley. It is in a frame and someone took one of those Groucho Marx noses, and stapled it to the middle of the wall, as Nobody nose! Next slide please. . .