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0425 am 'Get This' news

Summary of the KBOO am news for Tuesday, April 25th, 2006.
1. Governor Kulongoski has finally declared the long-threatened state of emergency fort he commercial fishing industry. (Just in time for the debates on LNG terminals and shipbreaking in Coos Bay, Astoria and beyond... )
2. Oregon's own Kettle Foods got slapped with a $12 thousand dollar fine for discharging wastes. (Just be glad the poo didn't wind up in your bag of chips).
3. Oregon has at last got on the sue-the-tobacco- companies bandwagon. We got done out of about $9 million dollars.
4. Hewlett Packard employees who chose the 'blue pill' may have found that they are no eligible for unemployment benefits. HP offered two severance packages in a shameless effort to shed American workers.
5. More Lane County school districts are joining a lawsuit charging that state lawmakers have neglected their constitutional duty to sufficiently fund schools.
6. The Guv signed a tough new sex crime law.
7. Tuesday is the deadline to register to vote.
8. FSRN: The Enron juggernaut rolls on. Ken Lay went to trial yesterday.
9. A US District Court judge ordered a jury to continue deliberations concerning the fate of Umer Hayat, the Lodi California ice cream vendor.
10. Rumsfeld - ever on the charm offensive! - has approved the US military's plans to fight the bogus war on terror all around the world. Black Ops, white ops, rainbow ops. They've got something for everybody.
11. Bush is 'being pressed to do something about gas prices'. (Are we expected to believe: 1. Bush is being pressed. 2. Bush wants to control oil prices. 3. Bush can control oil prices. 4. Bush knows anything about the oil industry.)
12. The Illinois State legislature is about to use a little rule of the US House to bring impeachment charges against Bush.
13. And another federal lawsuit filed yesterday claims the defense department is violating the privacy of millions of high school students with a detailed database it uses for military recruitment. The current database includes information on 16-year-olds, is storing the info for 5 years and is being shared with law enforcement and other agencies (so, for example, a high school kid could get pulled over for not enlisting?)
14. The Lt. Governor of California and the mayor of LA both Hispanic, have both received threats of violence of one sort or another. Cruz Bustamente and Antonio Villaraigosa as well as other elected officials of Mexican heritage have been getting the threats ever since the immigration debate fired up. Schwarzenegger - himself an immigrant but immune from the threats because he is a German immigrant - says he opposes amnesty.
15. Five teenagers in Kansas have been charged with threatening to carry out a shooting "spree". (Only in America could the words 'shooting' and 'spree' appear grammatically connected in the same sentence.)
16. Mary McCarthy - CIA scapegoat and all round nice person has been punished for attempting to keep the Agency on the straight and narrow. (Of course now Rumsfeld has rolled out his 07 line, she would have been toast anyway... )
17. FSRN: Seven car bombs killed at least 8 people and wounded dozens in Baghdad yesterday. (and even though these people had family and friends just like you, their names and their stories are of no interest to the average American, still traumatized by 9/11)
18. Not to be outdone, three blasts at a resort town in the Sinai killed 23 people. Dahab is popular with foreigners and this is Easter for Egypt's Coptic Christians so the place was packed.
19. Nepal's dimwitted King Gyanendra has reinstated the lower House of Parliament. This clears the way for a new constitution and frees the king from the dreary task of running the country and frees him to return to pretending to be a monarch.
20. A former Iranian ambassador and Islamic Republic insider says the US is conducting covert operations inside Iran with the intention of destabilizing the country and precipitating the fall of the regime. (Why are they over there when we need them back home for the same reasons?)
21. The World Bank has been accused of deception and medical malpractice by public health officials who couldn't help but notice that the Bank has failed to cough up the funds it promised to fight malaria.
22. Japan is going to pay 60 percent of the cost to relocate the Marines from Okinawa to Guam. (They probably would have paid more to rid themselves of US military presence but America has such a huge trade deficit with Japan, it must have been the first offer... )
23. A report came out that says a "thousand" Iraqis who live in a south Baghdad suburb where a nuclear complex was bombed and looted are at risk of contamination. (No. I don't believe that number either. It's got to be much higher. Now let's talk about the rest of Iraq and all that depleted uranium... .)
24. Chinese President Hu Jintao is off to Africa to scoop up more oil deals for his fast-forward nation.
25. Indonesian doctors are going to re-examine former President Suharto to see whether he is fit to stand trial. The old boy showed up at a wedding party leading people to surmise that he isn't as ill as he was thought to be. (Healthy, maybe. Slippery, definitely.)
26. Liberian environmental activist Silas Siakor has won the prestigious Goldman Environmental Prize (Lucky he lives in a former 'failed state' like Liberia. Had Silas lived here in the Home of the Free he would have been jailed as an "eco-terrorist".)
27. Huge protests - I'm talking about many tens of thousands of people - greeted Condoleeza Rice upon her arrival in Athens, Greece. (Where, apparently, Democracy still means something... )