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Chris McIntosh reflects on William Rodger’s suicide.

Chris has just recently asked me to release the article below. He was just placed in West Virginia and is just now having time to reflect on Bill Rodger's suicide.
On February 25, 2006 Chris 'Dirt' McIntosh chose to reflect on his new surroundings, and most of all the suicide of William Rodgers. Below is his reflection:

As I sit here in my new institution overlooked by 6 gun towers, behind a brick wall and two barded wire fences, I'm grateful... I'm grateful that at least I'm in a facility placed in the Appalachian Mountains, and fresh clean air... Though because of the wall we get very little view. There is a hill, we can see deer are often seen grazing and enjoying the safety from "sportsmen" that a federal compound provides. I see birds, hawks etc. I feel sun on my face. The other day I got to slog through snow...
This time in prison, in cells and cages has caused me to become aware of the smaller aspects of mature, and to make connections during these chance encounters with the ladybug on my window, the fruit flies, the mice who seem to have the run of the place. Those small encounters, which are so often over looked, have become my lifeline.
So to say, I derive my spirit from these brothers and sisters who thrive and multiply amongst the immense presence of the prison system... They remind me that you and I can too.
This writing is dedicated to Bill Rodgers; these words are those that I wish I could have whispered to him through the cracks in that lonely jail's hole he found himself in.
Upfront Bill's choice of the easy way out caused me to feel three emotions: anger, embarrassment, and sadness. Anger that he chose a cowards way when strength was needed. Embarrassment when SeaTac Administration came and asked me if I had a suicide pact with Bill... But have subsided into sadness... Bill left those of us on the inside short an ally, the inside desperately needed. A man with the knowledge that he had... An organizer of an info shop... There was a desperate need for him should he have gotten time within these prison walls. How many could he have awakened in here, and how much change could he have exerted on the "outs" through those he awoke on the inside... Sadly we'll never know.
I never knew Bill, or even met him, but those actions he was accused of participating in were what inspired mine. I find strength also in the perseverance of fellow warrior Jeff 'Free' Luers and in the unbowed knee of Peter Young.
I guess in the end what I'm trying to say is the cuffs don't change anything a subversive is as subversive does no matter where that warrior finds herself or himself... The action itself comes and goes but that fire in your heart burns on, stoked by the anger of a just cause.
We are the cougars in the dark and when they lay hold of us we become the tapeworms in their ass.
Keep your silence and stoke the fires they can't get us all...

Fuck the feds, fuck the rats and fuck BOP [The Federal Bureau of Prisons].

Chris 'Dirt' McIntosh
sublime and profound 07.Mar.2006 05:08

marco

"This time in prison, in cells and cages has caused me to become aware of the smaller aspects of mature, and to make connections during these chance encounters with the ladybug on my window, the fruit flies, the mice who seem to have the run of the place. Those small encounters, which are so often over looked, have become my lifeline."

Very beautiful words.
Thank you Chris McIntosh!!!

When I was going through grade school there was an essay
we read translated from Chinese to English about a little
boy who took time during recess to look on the pavement
and see a butterfly and he went into great detail the
color, the smell, the vibration of his wings 3 or 4 days
in a row when this butterfly visited him.

I didn't for a moment miss the metaphorical comparison
between that state run grade school and a prison.

And you brought back the beauty of the same energy so
many years later.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.