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If Stupidity Were Impeachable, Cheney'd be History

Cheney misfired and bagged a GOP donor instead of a quail. And there are some big questions about the official story about this vice presidential shooting incident.

Deadeye Dick, vice president and regent of this great nation, set out to shoot himself a quail in Texas this weekend, swung around and unloaded his shotgun at his host, attorney Harry Whittington, this weekend, sending the unfortunate and no doubt surprised man to the hospital, his face and chest full of shot.

It was vintage Cheney when you think of it.
p> With the country loaded and on the hunt for Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan, Cheney and his neo-con gang swung the army around and fired at Saddam Hussein and Iraq, leaving that country staggering and massively wounded. Like the quail he took his eye off of, Osama and his gang are free as...well, birds, plotting more mayhem.

Meanwhile, Deadeye Dick, having created a bloody mess in Iraq, has already gotten his ward President Bush to swing around towards Syria and Iran. He and Bush have already decided they've spent enough on "ebuilding" Iraq, so now they're about to blast Iran and/or Syria.

If Iraq is any indication of this man's sense of responsibility and willingness to pay for his mistakes , Whittington better have some good insurance--either that or a good lawyer. Cheney's liable to just split and leave Whittington with the bill.

I guess, given the Vice President's demonstrated skill with a gun, we should probably be glad he ducked the draft and missed Vietnam. He probably would have ended up being one of those dumb bozos who were responsible for all those "friendly fire" casualties over there.

Which raises the question: Was the VEEP, like so many tough-guy hunters, juiced for this hunt? That would add the element of negligence to his basic stupidity. There are some suspicious things about this incident:

* First off, Cheney waited 24 hours to report the shooting. Very odd. His office claimed it was "out of respect" for the owner of the property, Katherine Armstrong, who claims she forgot for a day because of concerns for Whittington. Could the delay have had more to do with clearing Cheney's blood of alcohol, and getting everyone's stories lined up?

* Second, the story that Whittington exited the vehicle the tough-guy hunters were riding in to look for a quail he'd just shot, and that Cheney then got out to check out a second covey of quail sounds queer. When someone fires a shotgun, typically all quail in the area take flight. It seems unlikely Cheney could have found another covey right nearby.

For other stories by Lindorff, please go (at no charge) to This Can't Be Happening! .

homepage: homepage: http://www.thiscantbehappening.net

Gun advocate pellets buddy 13.Feb.2006 08:11

Man Herding Cats

Dick Cheney may have been thinking of someone else when he shot the lawyer. Here is a list of people Cheney would probably want to shoot.

10. Abramoff - he knows too much

9. Libby - before he spills his guts

8. Osama - The congressman not the terrorist

7. People who write top ten lists

6. Dan Quail - he gave V.P.'s a bad name

For more of the list check out my blog:

accident my ass 13.Feb.2006 08:29

purry mason

If it had been the average citizen that did the shooting, they would have
been arrested and charged with several felony offenses.

the stress must really be getting to him 13.Feb.2006 15:36


if he's shooting his attourney

Cheney using new secret weapon 13.Feb.2006 20:12



Cheney Was Hunting Illegally [he had not purchased the required upland game bird stamp] When Accident Occurred
 link to thinkprogress.org


Lynn Cheney. Well how did you do hunting today Dick.
VP. I did fine dear. Got some nice bird. but those fucking paramedics run off with my trophy.

Questions About Cheney's Hunting "Accident" 13.Feb.2006 20:25

by Doug Ireland

The entire Cheney hunting accident story stinks. The delay in announcing it isCheney_2 suspicious, obviously. I'll bet Cheney had a few beers in him, but I'm not sure that is illegal in Texas (drinking and hunting is illegal in most states, but I couldn't find out if that includes Texas).

But a few other points that may be worth noting:

1. The news reports say the accident happened "around 5:30 pm" on Saturday. In Texas, quail can be hunted until 30 minutes after sunset. Sunset on Saturday, in Corpus Christi, was at 6:18, which means they were legal until 6:48. The "around" is suspicious.

2. The news reports say that after Whittington (left) had gotten off his shot and went looking for his bird, Cheney and the other hunter went to another spot where they saw a covey of quail. Texas quail might be different from Iowa quail, but in Iowa when a shotgun goes off, every quail within earshot flutters away. The story doesn't make sense.

3. None of the stories have commented on the fact that they were "road hunting", or hunting from a car. That is just about the lowest kind of low-rent, dishonorable kind of hunting there is (the phrase "road hunting" is often used synonymously with "poaching"). When I was growing up in Iowa, I went pheasant or quail hunting on scores of occasions with my Dad and others. We never would have hunted from a vehicle and it was an insult to even suggest that someone might. It was considered dangerous and declasse, as it was too great an advantage for the hunter to be "fair". It most states, including Texas, it is also illegal:

"It is unlawful to hunt from or by means of motor-driven vehicles and land conveyances or aircraft of any kind except paraplegics and single or double amputees of legs may hunt from stationary motor-driven vehicles or land conveyances."

However, Texas exempts private property owners from the prohibition when they are on their own land and Cheney was with the property owner on his ranch. But it is still really tacky.

4. Hunting quail in Texas requires an "Upland game bird stamp", which costs $7. This is a relatively new requirement, but I'll bet Cheney didn't have one.

5. The spin is that Whittington "came up from behind the Vice President", implying that he snuck up on him or was somehow partially responsible because Cheney didn't know he was there. When hunting, it is bad form to walk in front of someone's gun. When given a choice, one would always approach another hunter from behind.

Cheney has gotten negative press in the past for participating in "canned hunts" and a couple of years ago he got really negative press for going on a canned pheasant hunt in Pennsylvania where he got between 70 and 95 birds (depending on which report is to be believed). The typical daily limit in places like Iowa and South Dakota, where we have many more pheasants than Pennsylvania, is 3 or 5 per day and a possession limit of 15 or 20.

To many of our milieu, hunting is hunting is hunting and the distinctions noted above aren't that big of a deal. To hunters, these are important distinctions. Hunting regulations are strictly enforced in most states and every sixpack Joe knows he better abide by them or he'll get in trouble. Most hunters aren't affluent suede vest guys, they are working class guys within a couple of generations of agriculatural roots. The gluttony of shooting 70 pheasant in a day is almost impossible for them to comprehend.

Focusing on the kill rather than the hunt is frowned upon. Killing more than you can eat is frowned upon. Canned hunts and that kind of over-indulgence is for the Rambo hunters, who are not thought highly of by the old-fashioned Izaak Walton league type of guys, like my Dad.

Someone should be asking if Cheney was drinking, if he was properly licensed with his Upland Game Bird Stamp, when (and if) the hunting accident was actually reported to the authorities and if anyone has investigated why the quail in Texas seem to have gone deaf.

Ms. Armstrong claims to have been in the car, but to have witnessed the shooting. If so, that would mean the hunters were fairly close, within eyeshot, which makes it even less likely that Whittington had gotten off a shot at a quail and then there were other quail still waiting around for Cheney to find them. It just does not make sense.

Lazy Louts? 13.Feb.2006 22:10


Firing from a vehicle? Damn, all that was missing was the jack light. Come to mention it, I don't recall any mention of dogs at all. What sort of a half-assed quail hunt WAS this?

Cowboys retire after quail hunting! 14.Feb.2006 07:10

marc mbatko@lycos.com

Quail hunting, money-laundering for the Pentagon, warmongering against people who never threatened us, no-bid contracts, conflict-of-interest poster boy, dismissing the UN, energy conservation, deficits, the Geneva Convention against torture and world opinion as quaint or irrelevant, identifying freedom and occupation as Orwell warned - what a legacy!
Doesn't the other guy have a right to shoot back since he has a license?
Maybe the quail hunting will be a wake-up call like Falludscha and Katrina!
Reality and crises can bring new priorities and perspectives. The US penchant for world domination was nourished from myopia, arrogance, hubris and boundless narcissism, the pattern of the prodigal son or the demon-possessed megalomaniac, a fixation on the short-term that dismissed long-term necessities, a one-dimensional vulgar materialist view that stylized the market as self-healing and businessmen as the only ones who know the meaning of development.
Security requires fair distribution of land and resources since all people have a right of inclusion and yearn for freedom and self-determination.
Violence cannot overcome violence. Reconciliation means finding a new unity, a new consensus relativizing the past differences. Surely some diplomatic agreement is possible that gives security guarantees to Iran and Israel.
UC Berkeley abandoned its Etheverry nuclear reactor without saying a word about nuclear waste or community sentiment. The university only said it needed more computer space. Perhaps the US will accept a non-nuclear multipolar world of shared power so all the world doesn't cast away the devalued dollars!
The resignation of Cheney and Bush would give hope to the dollar and the planet!