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I Want To Be Really Ugly Today!

Beauty is skin deep
Ugly is profound
You cannot get ugly in a bottle downtown...
I Want To Be Really Ugly Today!
by Kirsten Anderberg (www.kirstenanderberg.com)

I want to be really ugly today
Just to stick it to The Man
I want my ugliness on display
Just to fuck with The Man's plans

I want to be like Miss Jane Hathaway
Or Aunt Bea, or Alice, the maid
For whatever it was Marilyn Monroe had
It sure was quick to fade.

I want to invest hours preparing
My ugliness on parade
My head to toes
Just so everybody knows

I want to wear really geeky glasses
Not the anarchist horned rim chic
I want to be the bearded lady
Not some guy's girlfriend on which he cheats

I want to stand in a pile of ripped up newspapers
And to bathe in shreds of magazine ads
I want to be so ugly you yell at me in crosswalks
I want to be so ugly I am banned.

I want to wear my ugliness
Like a badge of honor and pride
As a statement against capitalist bullshit
And letting others control my in and outsides

Beauty is skin deep
Ugly is profound
You cannot get ugly in a bottle downtown

I want to be so ugly it is beautiful
Behind the ugly, I feel safe to hide
Committing crimes of which no women dare speak
Pursuing ugliness during her beauty make-up time

I'm gonna be really fucking ugly today
Just so everyone knows
I'm gonna pursue it like others do beauty
Just to stick my thumb to my nose.

homepage: homepage: http://www.kirstenanderberg.com

I actually like that. 25.Jan.2006 18:39

Steven Black

Thanks for posting it.

The root of ugly is fear 25.Jan.2006 22:44


The pentagon and the fashion industry spreads ugliness.

Whatever happened to tolerance and diversity? 26.Jan.2006 12:01


You've got issues, Kirsten. Seriously. Get help. While you, as usual, start with a fairly good premise (cosmetics, fashion, and sociatal norms don't equal true or enduring beauty), your love of hyperbole and your general loathing of anyone who makes different choices from your own ultimately turns your thesis into another all-too revealing look into your personal discomforts and neuroses.

the root of ugly is strength 26.Jan.2006 12:06


I believe, at this point, the root of ugly is strength. It is not easy to be deemed "ugly" by society collectively, let me tell you. To have YOUR body and age portrayed in every rock and rap video as the scary ogre that CHASES the horrified hip young male is unbelievably degrading...ever heard the little assholes in "Sweaty nipples" describe the hatred of women that prompted their name? I think I have finally figured it out, that the hipsters do not mind having us old women around as workhorses...but we are not actually invited to the party...

I wrote a sequel to this poem last night actually...

They Say I Used To Be Pretty
By Kirsten Anderberg (www.kirstenanderberg.com)

He said, "You used to be pretty."
The other guy said, "You used to be fine."
Another one said, "I used to want to go out with you."
And another told me, "I wish I had met you 20 years ago."

In high school, I remember Jim Tourje saying
"Kirsten, you won't be able to rely on your looks forever."
I remember having no idea what he was talking about.
Was he saying I was pretty?

When I was younger, I did not see the perks
It wasn't until those privileges were pulled
That I saw how ageism turns friends to jerks.

If you asked me if I am pretty
I would say yes, now more than ever
But apparently that is not the public opinion!
The lines, the wrinkles, the time and age
Are interesting to me.
And pretty never meant to me what it does
To others anyway.

I have always fallen soul first
For friends and lovers
Looks depend on my mind
Not my eyes

So I hear I used to be pretty
I hear I used to make men hot
But 45 years into it all
And I am still not sure what "pretty" bought.

Issues 27.Jan.2006 06:42


Dark Lady said it very well. I fail to see, Kirsten, how your blanket condemnation of anyone who may be younger, thinner, or "prettier" than you is any different then the discrimination you say you suffer. Shallow is shallow and judgemental is judgemental in either case.

It seems to me you should stop worrying about all those young hipsters and their imagined obsession with hating you. Learn to love and accept yourself as you are. The most beautiful people are comfortable in their own skin - fat, ugly, old, it doesn't matter. Stop pining for your lost youth and grow old gracefully. Quit looking for approval and affirmation from children, they think anyone over the age of 30 is gross. There's tons of men your age out there who also aren't perfect and would welcome the honest love of a good woman, no matter what she looked like.

And BTW, I know many guys out there who prefer a woman with a little (or a lotta) extra pounds.

darklady, why do you hate women having self-esteem? 27.Jan.2006 06:50


Darklady, are you afraid of women having their own self-defined body esteem? Does that make your obsession with only one kind of sexuality a bit too flimsy for you? Like you might lose all you invested in making women up to look like clowns sexually? You have been stalking me online for a while now and I am sick of your bullshit. My feminism is not new, honey, and no, feminism is not a sickness as you keep trying to make it out to be. YOu have been trying to engage me in fights online desperately and I simply am not going to play with you. I got many fan letters for this poem, yours was the only hate mail, but then, that is what you do. I will say it again, for the millionth time to you, no one makes you read my work...and if you don't like it, why don't you produce your own women's esteem writing and leave me alone? You seem to be working AGAINST women's esteem which is weird. Are you AFRAID of women having their own body esteem? It seems you are, but I am not your therapist. Leave me alone and write for yourself if you don't like my work, "darklady." It is sad when women work to undermine other women's body esteem as you continually keep doing.

nice poems 30.Jan.2006 08:34


I've waded through piles of macho hipster stream-of-consciousness claptrap in poetry journals but they can't surpass sincere, sing-song rhymes in conveying the simple, everyday act of women's defiance against patriarchy.

i dig it 02.Feb.2006 16:30


hey, i love this. i don't think it's at all "a blanket condemnation of anyone who may be younger, thinner, or prettier than you"...it totally struck me as a declaration of happiness and freedom and pride in yrself...plus i have this weird hang-up where i wish i was "ugly" so that i wouldn't be able to get away with stuff just on the basis of being "young and cute". it feels like i'd know my own worth more easily, know myself for myself, if people didn't judge me for how i look. and yeah, if they're judging in a positive way, that's good and all, but it feels so false. maybe what i'm saying is, if no one noticed what i looked like, perhaps instead they'd notice who i am.

anyways, the point is, i dig the poem. really spoke to me. i'm not sure my confused comment made any sense, but there it is.

I liked your poem too 20.Feb.2006 09:38

passing through

My job involves looking and acting "pretty" and I tell you I only do it for the cash. When I'm not at work I won't brush or die my hair or wear make-up and I wear baggy pants and t-shirts. I slouch and frown and grin. Beauty isn't even skin deep - it's just clothes and paint - I should know. Nobody from work would recognise me when I'm at home. I find it really funny when stupid men try to insult me by calling me "ugly" when I know that looking "pretty" is just conforming to social norms. I want to grow old and gray un-gracefully, no creams or dies or face-lifts. That's how I like to be - ugly! That is me!