portland independent media center  
images audio video
newswire article creative united states

government | human & civil rights | media criticism

JOKES ABOUT NEOCLOWNS

Sometimes, you just have to stand back and laugh. Watching the neocons go into prolonged spin cycle only to make their situation worse is actually pretty funny. I had to laugh when Bush brought out the 'rents thinking that Mom and Pop would make things better and the two of them were object lessons in "Why Georgie is so Dysfunctional." The only thing more humorous was watching the twins try to tell jokes and falling flat on their faces. So, I wrote a bunch of one liners based on today's media spin. Please add your own to them and let's start EMBARRASSING those who are still in De Nile About the competence of this administration. Seriously, think of this as an intervention for the conservatively-addicted or Fox-impaired. They need our help to find reality (and get sober) again.
=====================================================

<b>What do you call a person who has three jobs including one for Walmart, doesn't make enough money to own a car, needs food stamps to survive and was left dog paddling by FEMA? </b>

Evacuees
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<b>What does Rush Limbaugh call a person who has three jobs including one for Walmart, doesn't make enough money to own a car, needs food stamps to survive and was left dog paddling by FEMA? </b>

Crackheads
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<b>What does Rush Limbaugh call someone who makes a living off dirt and selling Oxycontin?</b>

His maid
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>What do you call someone who makes a living on heavy duty drugs and and victimizing people who already lived through hell ?</b>

RUSH LIMBAUGH

=======================================================

<b>What do you call the money that somebody needs to eek out a living from a minimum wage job?</b>

Welfare.

=======================================================
<b>What do you call the money that somebody takes for NOT DOING THEIR JOB?</b>


A FEMA DIRECTOR'S SALARY
======================================================
<b>What do you call the guy that shovels horse doody out of a stable to keep it clean?</b>


A stable hand
---------------------------------------------------------------

<b>What do you call the guy that shovels horse doody into microphones and over television?</b>


President and Vice President

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>What do you call somebody who giftwraps horse doody for a living?</b>

Karl Rove
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<b>What do you call someone who describes horse doody as organic brownies?</b>

A Republican speechwriter
(or Frank Luntz for those in the know)
===================================================
<b>What do you call a television network that acts like horse doody was just invented?</b>

Faux News
===================================================

<b>What do you call someone who says that they did not know that hurricanes cause flooding and damage?</b>


A FEMA DIRECTOR OR PRESIDENT--take your pick

======================================================

<b>What do you call someone that thinks the Astrodome is a housing development?</b>

The President's Mother

======================================================

<b>What do you call someone that TELLS other people that they think that the Astrodome is a housing development?</b>


SENILE
======================================================

<b>What do liberals/progressives call someone who advocates destroying A Priceless American HEIRLOOM with bulldozers to make hundreds of thousands of Americans homeless or dead?</b>


Dennis Hastert or George W. Bush

======================================================

<b>What do conservatives call someone who advocates destroying A Priceless American HEIRLOOM with bulldozers and making hundreds of thousands of Americans homeless or dead?</b>

Terrorists

======================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when Democrats are affected by an entire city's culture irrespective of race?</b>

an Evacuation
======================================================
<b>What do Democrats call it when Republicans are moved by the entire country? </b>

An impeachment

======================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when Democrats want to employ Americans?</b>

Unpatriotic and a defeat of Free Trade
======================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when they get paid millions of dollars to let companies NOT hire Americans? </b>

Free trade
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>What do Democrats call it when Americans are employed?</b>

Progress
======================================================

<b>What do Republicans call it when they start a war for profit?</b>

Patriotism
======================================================

What do Americans call it when Republicans profit off of a war?

TREASON
======================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when money is spent to encourage upward mobility?</b>

Welfare
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when minority students make better grades than their children and get into better colleges? </b>

Unlawful racial preferences
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when poor or minority students can't afford to go to college?</b>

The law of natural selection
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when they hire each other's kids irrespective of ability?</b>

free market
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when give money to American companies to take jobs abroad?</b>

job creation
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call a debtor's prisons?</b>

bankruptcy reform
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when they get stock tips before the market?</b>

psychic ability
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when anyone else get stock tips before the market?</b>

insider trading
===================================================
<b>What do Republicans call it when they have programs written that change scanned in votes from Democrat to Republican? </b>

interpreting the will of the people
===================================================
<b>What does a Republican call a Democrat who takes pictures of naked people for profit?</b>

A pornographer
===================================================
<b>What does a Republican call a Republican who takes pictures of naked people for profit?</b>

House majority leader
===================================================