From: Chris Andreae
Date: Tue Sep 6, 2005 9:04 am
Subject: 0906 am 'we're not making this up' news
This is transcript summary from KBOO's internal news departments' exchange
1. After their berm got bad reviews, Portland has to
take the toxic sludge they're dredging out of the
Willamette elsewhere. It suddenly occured to them
that there might be a flood or earthquake or something
that would unleash the stuff. (Isn't that what
planning is supposed to be for?)
2. Al Gore is going to tell Portland about Global
Warming. (He could have sent us an e-mail.)
3. The mayor of Hermiston is salivating at thte idea
of development where the depot used to be. The
Federated Tribes of the Umatilla Rez also want the
land - it is theirs after all. (If everyone is so hot
to get some toxic land, let's sell them some sludge!)
4. The Guv went to the Labor Day picnic. (See? Told
you he was campaigning.)
5. Mercy Corps members are in the Gulf States helping
out, (even though not one of them knows a thing about
6. FSRN: Boeing is on strike. (Question: when are
we going to ask the CEOs to "tighten their belts" and
do their bit to keep the company flying?)
7. The water is gradually receding in New Orleans and
what's left makes the Willamette look like the
Fountain of Youth.
8. A National Guard unit serving in Iraq but based in
New Orleans is on its way home. (I can see it: Sarge
sez: "The good news is you're going home. The bad
news? You're going home.")
9. Bush's next choice for the Supreme Courrt is going
to be really scary. (Prediction: Bush will appoint
Alberto Gonzales over Thanksging Weekend. Ladies and
gentleman, place your bets!)
10.Russ Feingold is the first senator to call for a
definite withdrawal date and he was the ONLY Senator
to vote against the USA Patriot Act. Vote Russ in 08!
11.Israel is building 3117 new places deep in the
heart of the West Bank, land (along with the Gaza
Strip and East Jerusalem) that was occupied by
Israelis during the 1967 war and sooner or later the
Palestinians are going to want it back.
12.An investigation is under way into 'Shoot To Kill'
orders given to Israeli soldiers. some of them say
they were ordered to shoot anyone - even kids.
13.Iraqi resistance fighters attacked the Interior
ministry. Attacks are rare on heavily guarded
(translation: crawling with Marines and Mercs)
14.The International Institute for Strategic Studies
has noted that Iran is years away from nukes. The
Institute also noted that a diplomatic showdown
between the US and the EU is pretty much inevitable.
15.'Chernobyl Death Toll Under 50'- What the hell kind
of a headline is that? No less than the IAEA, the UN
Development Program and the WHO all signed off on
16.FSRN: Caste in India. Well, it's still a problem.
17.More on the Great Apes: Look, I'm going to keep on
doing stories about this. These animals will be gone
in a generation. This is something that we know about
and we know how to stop it. So don't act surprised
when these creatures are gone. Afterall, we're next.
18.Climate change: Expected shifts in rain patterns
and temperatures could lead to another 50 million more
people going hungry. (And guess what? They are not
all going to be safely out of sight in Africa. Some
of them are going to be here. Some of them are going
to be us.)
19.Typhoon Talim has displaced over 100 thousand
people in China nd it's slamming into Japan right now.
20.Save the Children says the greatest barrier to
girls' education around the world is school fees.
Well, du-uh. It's the money thing, y'know. That and