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Your Revolutionary Dear Abby Strikes Again (BKH)

Your daily dose of comic relief

Dear Abby

One thing I have found myself grumbling about lately is that there is so little to visit out on the internet, no big pile of really revolutionary columnists taking up the pen at most of the top progressive type sites. I would suppose that the reason this problem continues to exist is that those are progressive websites, and not revolutionary websites, and if it was the case that I was a progressive type I might want to stop by and read some more progressive thought, but I am a revolutionary, so I am bored everyday. It must be the case that those progressive types writing all those columns at the world's leading progressive journals still haven't lost the last trace of the innocent gullibility and naive trust thus causing them to still be writing progressive thought columns instead of the more sensible revolutionary columns.

It has always been my position that a person should never complain about something if it is something that you can do yourself, and so following that line of reasoning I have decided to become a kind of revolutionary Dear Abby columnist, so that if there is anyone out there like me who is frustrated and getting bored with our columnists, at least once a day they can get their daily dose of revolutionary columnist writings. Or perhaps once every other day, if I happen to hit a dry well some day, although, given the apparently inexhaustible bottomless cesspool of cruel, deliberate, evil oppression that goes on over the entire face of this planet on a daily basis and all its monstrous wickedness it seems to me on first thought that it should be a while before I run out of things I might find either hilarious or even just slightly amusing, things being what they are...

Before I begin I would like to invite the cointelpro operatives, perhaps holed up in front of a screen over at Strattfor, that capitalist privatized CIA outfit, to follow me around and tag my articles with comments, such as, 'I can't stand much more of this, is everyone else getting as sick of this columnists as I am', you know, like you did last November. That way I can drag you around behind me like a tail, and perhaps destroy the last bit of innocent trust that might remain in my gentle innocent lamb like readers, thus saving them from the BIG LIE technique, so they won't watch the media anymore or listen to politicians and so on...

The Great Depression

Now to begin today's column I thought I would point out to the other progressive types, trusting souls that they still are, that in order to correctly analyze the current world situation, and correctly understand what is going on, and thus be able to correctly write a revolutionary column each day, you need to clearly understand just what deliberate evil oppression is, and you also need to understand that what you are seeing taking place is best understood as economic policy. That's right, even loss of civil rights is a form of economic policy. King George brought in the Night and Fog decree pioneered by Adolph, you know the bit about ditching the Magna Carta and everything that came after in the last eight hundred years, so as to able to lock people up on nothing more than the Fuhrer order of King George. Right now there are still a bunch of muslim men locked up under the terms of this order, rotting away secretly somewhere, forgotten, without any due process or any constitutional rights, not to mention losing any preliminary rights they might have expected to still have under the terms of the Magna Carta. The patriot act reads like it was copied from Hitler's anti-terrorism decree, which Hitler, who was also fighting a war on terrorism, put into place, before he managed to convince the German people to launch a war against terrorism by cutting the communist terrorists off at the source by invading the Soviet Union.

Yes, all this plainly visible rising Nazism and fascism is economic policy, and once you get that straightened out you can write some sensible revolutionary columns, infused with that all important economic sensibility that sadly, due to your continuing blindness caused by your still untreated naive trusting gullibility causes you to write columns incorporating the big lie of the day, as though this big lie was a starting point for a daily column, instead of shredding that big lie as you would, if you were divested of your innocence and thus writing proper revolutionary columns instead of those inaccurate progressive columns you continue to write each day, thus leaving me with little to read at all the top websites, leaving me perpetually bored and cranky, and thus causing me to regurgitate complaints such as this one.

Now we know that in the late 1990s corporations were going bankrupted and thus cooking the books to hide their many problems. This sort of thing was taking place during the so called boom years, as those big corporations used a propaganda campaign to suck in big piles of cash by jacking up their stock prices so that they could have collateral for such things as loans, or perhaps sell some shares at a jacked up price and tide themselves over while those desperate capitalists tried to find a solution for their approaching economic catastrophe. They were buying time, and then after the whole house of cards came tumbling down when they could not solve that knotty problem, they bought a little more time by holding those Stalinist show trials. You might recall that the theme of those Stalinist show trials was that there were these bad wreckers who were wrecking the Russian economy. People could then follow the wreckers trials as they were called, and blame the wreckers for Russia's economic woes instead of blaming Stalin. Scapegoats can be so useful.

Well a Stalinist show trial is no solution to the underlying economic problems. For you see it turns out that the whole 'globalization' thing was destroying the economy, which explains why all those bad protestors always show up at every meeting of big wigs, and explains why they were rioting about in places like Seattle (the famous 'Battle of Seattle' which then gave birth to the Indymedia movement, thank heavens, or where would I do the Dear Revolutionary Abby bit, given that we don't have a media anymore, since Reagan, that paragon of ultra capitalist wisdom, in addition to beginning the process of bankrupting the country to ditch the New Deal - 'starving the beasts' - also laid the foundation stone for Joe Goebbels type full blown fascism by allowing monster capitalist monopoly control of our media system, leaving us to listen to capitalist thought style twenty four hours a day, while ripping the lips and tongue off of everyone else on the planet in the process, this being required if capitalists are to be listened to since just having one person talking common sense would be the total ruin of them, which explains Reagan and the monopoly concept, the man not being quite the moron everyone thought he had to be, trusting souls that they were, just as King George is not quite the moron progressive columnists keep insisting he must be, naive gullible sorts that they remain to this very day.

Yes, everything, the obvious semi-Nazism, the show trials, everything, is economic policy. There are obvious examples of struggling economic policy, such as lowering interest rates down to almost zero, and getting people borrowing on their mortgages and buying some more time that way, while capitalists continue their hard, impossible task of undoing the fatal and terminal damage they have done. Which explains the fascism, since capitalists, not being morons themselves, have an ace in the hole you might say, a fall back position, should the inevitable happen and the Great Depression hit, and that last alternative is Hitlerism. Rather than wait for what they themselves know is coming, they have decided to be proactive and keep one step ahead of that gullible herd they so easily manipulate and con, by bringing in Hitlerism before the Depression, thus staying one step ahead at all times, and covering all their bases.

And that is a wise move, the gradual erosion of civil rights, the slow gradual move to Hitlerism, which is the same thing Hitler did by the way, slowly, gradually taking one step at a time, putting a finger to the wind, seeing if the herd remains asleep at the switch, and then confidence inspired, taking that next step. Yes Hitlerism is the ultimate solution for capitalists, provided that no one writes columns blowing the whole thing out of the water, for the problems they are trying to solve have no solution, which explains why they are taking such a long, long time trying to solve them, and which also explains why they keep working one step at a time on that Hitler plot. Which explains why King George has been beating the wasps nest with a big stick, hoping some people might get stung by wasps, since terrorism is the secret sauce of Hitlerism. And as I said before, if no wasps show up, then King George would have to do what must be done if Hitlerism is to continue to make progress, and dress up like a Wasp himself and bomb London, thus getting that slow moving train back up to speed, so we can do Hitlerism again, before the Great Depression hits.

For those gullible sorts who continue to examine the Islamist mind as the best and most probable explanation for the London bombings, I will just remind you that for King George to dress up in a wasp costume and bomb London would be a marked improvement for the man, given that he would be scaling back his homicides and only killing fifty people at a time, instead of doing the Warsaw Ghetto thing and destroying entire cities such as Fallujah, or doing the genocide thing in Africa right now, where a famine is secretly taking place while King George sets out a honey pot with money in the far future as the Joe Goebbels media system does its usual fine job of being part of the plot by not blowing the cover of the whole genocide by reporting the news, thus ruining the chances that King George might pull off Hitlerism and save those beloved evil oppressors, the capitalists. Yes, bombing London would be a marked improvement for King George, provided that he doesn't get fanatically pissed off and decide to really speed things up by nuking Flint, Michigan, thus bringing Hitlerism up to a full speed trot. Given the man's propensity for crimes against humanity and destroying cities and breaking every international war crimes law, this is a distinct possibility. Whether or not contemplating all these horrors will be enough to destroy the gullible trust of our top columnists is up in the air, and perhaps I will just have to wait until King George goes maniac and then come back and tell those columnists 'I told you so', that is if they aren't all tied up at the moment writing something about the Islamist mind, which, come to think of it, would be the only thing they would be allowed to write from that time forward, this being Hitlerism after all.

So you can see that there is irony in this situation, in that progressive columnists will continue to be employed under Hitlerism, not being banned as most people might think would be the case, thus helping to lull that gullible mob into thinking that everything is still alright, nothing really evil is happening, and they are still safe under the benevolent care of King George, who wants the best for them, as proven by the freedom of the press when the progressives continue their work, that banning thing only happening to revolutionary websites, for obvious reasons..

That was sarcasm, and biting satire by the way, unless it turns out to be the case that our progressive columnists are Nazis, in which case you can take it as a warning, whatever the case may be, depending on how things work out.

Yes, everything is economic policy and the problems cannot be solved. For you see globalization proved to be another one of those idiotic capitalist plots, whereby you ship your jobs to the third world, to make a profit off of slave labor, and then you ship products back to American's who not having jobs, or being forced in lousy jobs, cannot buy products, thus ruining everything. Or you can bring in a robot, but robots don't buy products either, thus creating the same type of problem. It's called Reagan style deregulation and Maggie Thatcher style 'free enterprise', and while I suggested previously that such people are not completely stupid, being cunning in the scheming sort of way, in some ways they are actually every bit as much a dullard as so many progressive columnists believe to be the case.

Don't worry, be happy

Now as any fans of my columns would know, I do not believe in panic. After all, its only the Great Depression, the last of a very long line of repeating Great Depressions, which are a recurring feature of capitalism, the reason for this being that you cannot have capitalism without having capitalists. And given how this is going to be the very last Depression, since it is the last time that moron will be allowed to pilot a ship, I say to all revolutionaries to start practicing right now to learn a new song for this depression. Everything will be alright. Remember. Don't worry, be happy.

The following are the lyrics to the song, "Don't worry, be happy", by Bobby McFerrin. Some people might recall how George Bush senior decided to use this little ditty as a campaign song, which probably goes a long way to explaining why he lost his second election.

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry........ be happy.
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry....... be happy.
Don't worry....... be happy now!
Don't worry....... be happy.
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry....... be happy.
Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry..... be happy
The landlord says your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry....... be happy
Don't worry, be happy now!
Don't worry....... be happy.
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry....... be happy.
Don't worry, be happy!

Indirect Terrorism

It has been brought to my attention that the British ruling class continues to react properly to the London Bombing, you know, not doing the thing of stopping beating the old wasps nest, and draining the swamp as it were, thus ending evil oppression, which would be the correct response if that very coincidentally well timed terrorist strike was an Islamist and not just King George and his cronies in a wasp costume. Yes, the British ruling class is reacting as I would expect, doing the wrong thing instead of the right thing, being the type of people who never do anything right, just being evil all the time, apparently, even at a time like this. So naturally the reaction to the London Bombing of the British Elite is to continue to develop fascism, by eroding civil rights. Strike while the iron is still hot, that's the way to do it. One step at a time. Tomorrow is another day, and another Islamist I am sure, until we all get done that project.

One of their more interesting new laws is that one about no one being able to inspire what they are now calling 'indirect terrorism'. For example, you would not want to say that when someone is crushed by an evil oppressor, and they do not have any hope and cannot find a strategy, they might turn to terrorism. That would be inciting terrorism, indirectly of course, and thus explaining what is going on in the world would become illegal, which should help the rise of Hitlerism a lot when you stop to think about it. Making that new law the proper response to the London bombing, depending on what use you might want to make of such a bombing event. Apparently some people just cannot stop making the world a worse place, rather than a better place, and thus people must lose even more of their civil rights, which is hardly an improvement, but then this is the British ruling class at work, and they never have been known to do much of anything to make the world a better place, which means they are still on course.

Now if we are to be banned from talking about terrorism in the 'indirect way' I wonder if we will still be allowed to talk about direct terrorism. For you know, the world is full of terrorism, but you never hear about that terrorism, since, apparently, it would seem, all that direct terrorism is not useful to the British ruling class, but would probably hurt their cause, thus we find only the useful terrorism trumpeted twenty four hours a day, while the useless terrorism is kept quiet and goes on undisturbed day after relentless day on this planet.

For example this year the terrorists have been murdering liberation priests and nuns and human rights workers in the Philippines. The death toll for these right wing terrorists so far this year is over 50. And of course the Bolivians are struggling to get out of the third world, being held their under gun point by the terrorists, while the capitalists plot to steal their natural gas, or to use the more polite term for armed robbery, while the capitalists plot to privatize Bolivia, thus leaving them flat broke one more time, unable to pay for their development, stuck in the third world, while being gunned down in the streets hundreds at a time by terrorists when they protest.

And there are so many, many, many other examples of the same sort of terrorism that takes place in the imperialist colonies to this very day, colonialism never actually having ended, but just gone undercover on this planet, thus explaining why it is so damned impossible to 'make poverty history,' despite the very best intentions of the British ruling class and the British politicians.

So then I have a question for those hair splitters in the British elite. Will it still be possible to talk about 'direct terrorism' under the newly trashed civil rights laws? I assume that I will not be able to talk about my letter to Iraq, giving them hope, and thus winning my first victory in my 'war against terrorism' by bringing those Iraq videos to an end, since that would suggest that people might have a reason for the things they do, like terrorism, thus being an indirect incitement to terrorism under your newly gutted civil rights laws. But that being the case, will I still be able to talk about direct terrorism under your new legislation, so necessary now after London got stung by that wasp?

The history of Socialism in Iraq

Now we all know that Iraq has O-I-L, but did you know that before King George sent Bremer in to do the Nazi International War Crime thing to Iraq by plundering, pardon me, I mean privatizing the place, Iraq also had socialism. I know, I know, some socialist out there is going to start a quibble with me about how a place like Iraq was not a true socialist state, being just a partial socialist state with lots of cronyism and graft, a mixed economy in other words, part socialist and part capitalist.

Given how Saddam kept Iraq's O-I-L as state socialist property, Iraq became one of the most modern and developed of those other Arab nations, which just goes to show you that even a little socialism goes a long, long way. The Bolivians, not being third world morons, understand this concept, which is why they were hoping that maybe someone would permit them to have a democracy in Bolivia so they can have some of that socialism instead of being robbed at gunpoint once again, pardon me, instead of privatizing their economy so as to encourage international investors and inspire investor confidence in Bolivian, which is supposed to help, but as the Bolivians keep trying to tell everyone, does not work, and only leaves them robbed blind, held at gun point by Ted Bundy, without a dime, and trapped in the third world unable to make poverty history in Bolivia. Or at least they would tell someone if we had a media, which we don't, and so they can't.

Now you might recall how Saddam, being the cautious sort, decided to ask Washington if it would be okay to invade Kuwait, and so he talked to Ambassador Gillespie, who told them the United States did not care if he invaded Kuwait to settle that dispute. Later on, I am sure, Gillespie caught supreme hell from all the progressive columnists, dear innocents that they are, and so it was that they could not believe that anyone could possibly be so stupid as to give Saddam the green light to invade Kuwait.

Now it turns out that Iraq needed to be invaded and bombed to the ground for two reasons. Iraq had some socialism, which is so powerful that even in partial or small doses it leads to rapid modernization and development, and thus Iraq was giving the Bolivians bad ideas, and the whole thing might catch on throughout the third world, thus making poverty history. Something had to be done. As an added bonus that operation to destroy socialism on sight would be self financing since Iraq had O-I-L, trillions worth of the stuff. It would not be like Grenada, where they voted for socialism, and Reagan bombed them three days later, at the tax payers expense, or Nicaragua, where they brought in socialism and Reagan sent in the terrorist contras financing it by selling cocaine and a bunch of missiles or whatever else he could peddle, since the tax payers had told Congress they did not want that done, and so Congress had to pass a law saying Reagan couldn't do it, and then turn as much of a blind eye while he destroyed socialism, while keeping their fingers crossed and hoping he would succeed without getting caught. He did get caught, but fortunately he had the first traces of Alzheimers, so congress was able to let him off the hook without an impeachment or anything, since Alzheimers is a good excuse for oppressing the poor and destroying democracy and socialism, although, personally, I think it is the only good excuse, thus making wonder what excuse the rest of them might have for their international war crimes, since statistics being what they are, they cannot all have Alzheimers. If left to the system they will probably get away with criminality once again, since you don't call Al Capone to crack down on the mob and end bootlegging, and similarly y don't impeach people for destroying socialism and keeping poverty around, rather you give them state funerals.

the hegelian dialectic 19.Jul.2005 17:05

just saying

thesis = capitalism

antithesis = communism

synthesis = new world socialist order?

Hitler didn't mix fascism and capitalism. He denounced "americanism" as capitalist greed and promoted a classless society(german), he also spoke of world revolution and he got it.

Read Hitler's early speeches about "revolution", "the new order", "national socialism"...they were very revolutionary, much like the PNAC. He denounced the soviet revolution as a fraud that duped the masses, was he lying? Or was Stalin lying when he told his people that fascism was the evil, then capitalism? Or did the capitalists lie about communism?

Maybe they're all lying...

Dear Abby 19.Jul.2005 17:44


As long as you are honest, thats all that counts

revolutionary talk 19.Jul.2005 21:04


as it stands today, the only good revolutionary discussion comes from the marxists; www.marxist.com
and the world socalist website are two good sources to read about what is really happening in the world.

oh, i get it now 20.Jul.2005 12:36


"just saying": Thanks for the flowcharts. Now I understand politics!

Seriously though, Nazi Germany was hardly "class-less". Hitler turned Germany's economy into a war machine and did it all based upon the free markey system (granted, the goverment had final say over everything).

Wikipedia has a great article on Nazi economics:

miscommunication 20.Jul.2005 16:25

just saying

I didn't say Nazi Germany was class-less, hitler promoted it in his early speeches, regardless of what the actual economy was. Stalin also promoted the same thing, regardless of what it was. Many US presidents talk about the american dream, regardless of what it is.

"(granted, the goverment had final say over everything)"

The former USSR was the same. Soon we will be able to experience that ourselves. They're getting pretty close to a mix of communism-fascism-socialism, just have to dump the bill of rights. That's probably why the capitalists are shutting down factories, they will be confiscated by the state if they don't. Those capitalists are sneaking off to china.

The communist manifesto:

1. Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to public purposes.

2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.

3. Abolition of all rights of inheritance.

4. Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels.

5. Centralization of credit in the banks of the state, by means of a national bank with state capital and an exclusive monopoly.

6. Centralization of the means of communication and transport in the hands of the state.

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the state; the bringing into cultivation of waste lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

8. Equal obligation of all to work. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.

9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of all the distinction between town and country by a more equable distribution of the populace over the country.

10. Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children's factory labor in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production, etc.