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Trust After Trauma

Illustration how revolution begins at home, (with oneself)
I remember everything, back to the time he hit me in the parking lot becuase I tried to stop him from making a terrible mistake - trying crack for the first time. I remember that he threw me in the backseat and tried to lecture me, then hit me upside the head and watched as my partner violated me with a beer bottle. I remember him when I saw him again, years later, unrecognized - HE called ME weird. I remember that I tried to spare him from the pain of the many wounds of my lifetime, and he repaid me with public humiliation. I remember trying to spare another human being from tremendous grief, to be suffocated to the point that I lost conciousness. I remember promising him not to lie or manipulate, only for him to sodomize me for telling the truth. It's been weeks now, and the amount of blood that passes with each bowel movement lessens every day - but I wonder, just how long will it take to heal. Will I ever? I wonder, had I never stood up for him, had I NEVER SPOKEN MY MIND, would any of this had happened? I hear he is planning a benefit for an eco-concious community. I wonder if he sees his part in it. I wonder if he looks in the mirror and sees the face of patriarchy staring back at him. I wonder if he looks at his hands, the ones he used to suffocate me and stifle my screams, and sees centuries of brutality and oppression. Probably not - he works too much - trying to save the world.
That sucks. 14.Jul.2005 16:39

fem

Hopefully you've reported the asshole to the police (as fucked up as they are) and have access to other support.

Hebdomadaire of Inter-penetration 15.Jul.2005 13:48

Borg 7/12

The current task to hybridice the fluid income of socalled being traitorize Queer, is a modern disadvantage of new closures police by past uprisings in distributive access...It ought to be clear, that no single consideration procedure of gettin'traumatized, be it that of utilitarianism or otherwhile a theory of justice based on ideal contract day trade, could do justice to the diversity of goods like architecture and global fashion empowerment. Left Sex-Militants have to weight together in juridical norm political thinking.

Fight Back!

Thanks, Fem.... 28.Jul.2005 12:30

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for the sound advice!