After viewing the not-so-subtle, bombastic het-male phallic fireworks, I was bicycling through the eastside warehouse/rave district when I stumbled upon a street-theater event called
There was a man-sized dinosaur, and they were trying to set it on fire. Great concept; flawed execution. It didn't burn very well, but hey.
And then someone threw a dirty upside-down American flag on a pole into the flames. And that fucking thing wouldn't burn either!
It melted. After a couple of minutes the edges were shrunken and a few holes had melted in the middle. But even though it wouldn't burn, you could almost hear the Wicked Witch of Washington screaming, "I'm melting! I'm melting!"
They don't need an amendment to ban burning the flag. All they need is enough flame-retardant polyester. Thank you, John Waters.
How about an amendment to ban melting the flag?
"I lift my lamp beside the golden door" to dissolve the symbol of the great American