PPD-So I'm sitting there, saliva dripping down my chin, waiting in line to get some more donuts, when the little old lady behind me tells me my radio is calling for me. After I get my donuts I stop to listen and find out what's happened. Apparently the OHSU monkey researcher Judy Cameron was having a graduation party for her daughter and some noisy protesters stopped by the house to say hi and let her daughter's friends know the nature of Judys work. I was really looking forward to those donuts. I managed to scarf down a few on the way to the Cameron residence and had to eat the rest after I investigated the call. When I arrived the protesters had left and were on to another researcher's house but I was able to gather a statement from Judy. Here is a copy of my report:
MS. Cameron- "I was in the middle of a graduation party for my daughter when the door bell rang. Champagne in hand, I went to the door and greeted the two people standing on my porch. They asked if this was the Cameron residence and I told them it was. They said they were my new neighbors and they had received some of my mail. I accepted the mail, thanked them and said goodbye. When I closed the door I opened the mail in front of all my guests to find in bold letters the statement "PLEASE STOP TORTURING MONKEYS". How did they know I torture monkeys? All of the guests were able to read the letter and I was extremely embarrassed. I sent my researcher buddy down stairs to tell them they had the wrong place but it was too late. I had opened my big fat mouth and confirmed this is where I live. My buddy gave them the letter back but they didn't go away. They began protesting and chanting through a megaphone making a ton of noise. My neighbors came out and were disgusted at there accusations. My daughters' friends couldn't stop looking at me with a weird disgusted look. Now these people have confirmed my address and they said they would be back. I'm really scared and I don't know what to do. It took forever for the cops to get there and my daughters' friends are afraid to come back. Please help, what should I do?"
Attached is a copy of the letter given to Judy Cameron-Evidence# 2343349
PPD-We received 2 more calls that night of home demonstrations at OHSU researcher's residences. I don't think I can keep up with these bastards. There just too quick for the PPD. Ultimately I was able to finish my donuts after responding to the third call. The donuts were cold and my night was ruined. These people are just too motivated and have too much energy. Hopefully the next time they hit Ill be off duty... ... ... ..