President Bush was never in danger during his visit to the new country of Georgia. Earlier reports said a grenade was thrown within one hundred feet of Bush, this is incorrect. Investigations have uncovered that the hand grenade was thought to be a construction grenade and posed no threat to Bush. After more extensive investigation by the FBI, CIA, SECRET SERVICE, NAS, CID, NIS, CSI IN MIAMI AND NEW YORK, LOCAL POLICE, we may have some facts by the six o'clock news.
The hand grenade-construction grenade turned out to be a rotten Easter Egg left over from the traditional hunt that took place on the grounds last month. President Bush said when told of the conclusion of the investigation by both countries said, "I did smell something weird and thought that it was the new leader of Georgia." Immediately at a press conference in DC Scott McColorful explained President Bush was just joking and did not mean to suggest that the new leader of Georgia needed to wash more often.
Congress will hold hearings in both houses to look into this attempt to misquote the President by the left leaning news media. The FBI, CIA, SECRET SERVICE, NAS, CID, NIS, CSI---IN MIAMI, NEW YORK, AND NOW LAS VEGAS, ARE NOW LOOKING FOR THAT ONE REMAINING LIBERAL NEWS OUTLET. We must go to our commercial about how to be a good citizen, brought to you by our national, patriotic, unborn child loving Homeland Security Leader.