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Why do democrats act like battered wives?

As a Democrat, there is something that bothers me about what seems to be the usual Democrat "style" -- for want of a better word. Here is a repost pinning down the unfortunate tendency.

Time for change!
This was posted at Daily Kos by "Political Poet", Thu Mar 3rd, 2005 --

I stopped reading liberal and democratic political blogs for some time now, which doesn't mean I started reading republican sites. No, although I'm fed up by the argumentation of the democratic blog/bloggers, that doesn't mean I would go join the dark side.

Just like my friend who stayed married to a crazed a#$hole for 10 years while raising two traumatized children, democrats keep whining and discussing the same old stories without acting where they should act.

Fact is I always thought democrats were smarter, more literate, more logical in their thought process. Maybe not, or otherwise why do I read things like this at Kos (from today's diaries):

The battered wife syndrom #1
Disbelief for every act the crazed husband commits, like:
"What on earth is going on here? Alan Greenspan testified before Congress today about the supposed financial crisis..."
or
"Why don't Republicans want to investigate the treasonist act of outing a CIA agent?   Why don't Republicans want to investigate a security breach walking around the White House in the era of 911? " (yeah, why not? Duuuuh)

The battered wife syndrom #2
Try to find something positive amid all the misery, usually something that is completely meaningless when the necessary remedy is to get rid of the husband:
"Four months after Mr. Bush won a solid re-election over Senator John Kerry, 63 percent of respondents say the president has different priorities on domestic issues than most Americans"

The battered wife sympton #3
Recount a traumatic detail or story about her husband that she has told many times before.
"Mostly along party lines, the Senate voted 59-40 Wednesday to reject a Democratic amendment ..." (Wow, first time this happened since...? Yesterday?)
or
"Secrets: CIA Detainee Abuses Still Unscrutinized"
(Who's in charge of the CIA now? Duuuuh?)

So what should a battered wife do? Stop whining and get rid of the husband. In that sense, the only diary of interest was the one about Conyers pushing for election reform. Why? We can't get rid of Bush, unless we find something to impeach him. But let's at least get back those lost seats in 2006.
Nothing changes 03.Mar.2005 21:49

battered human

when the same old patriarchal crap keeps circulating around. Don't blame it on her, asshole. She's doing the best she can to literally survive. She'll leave the equally asshole of a husband when she safely can. Don't equate her situation with inept democrats or republicans. Few of them really care about her, like you. Have you offered her the means to a safe way out? Have you donated your time or money to a woman's shelter (that could very well be full on the night she calls)? Or should she just leave and when he finds her and bashes the sh*t out of her and the kids? If you really care, help her out. But for god's sake, don't use her situation for your political verbal mastrubation.

democrats are icky 03.Mar.2005 22:12

some kid

you see, as a non-democrat, I take issue with you portraying an image of victims of domestic violence as somehow weak and cowardly. Fuckin' democrats.  http://www10.brinkster.com/ryanharvey/democrats.html

The democrats are all about peace when a republican is in office, but they defend war when a democrat is in office.

apparently PC thought police 03.Mar.2005 22:23

don't want us talking about this

Many abused spouses continue their status quo long after it's "safe" to get out. It's not being an asshole to point this out. AbusERS have no monopoly on dysfunctional behavior. It can be argued that abusees are making choices that are nobody else's business and shouldn't be judged by outsiders -- except when those choices hold abusive households together and affect kids. Not every psycho would kill his family if they took off or kicked him out, and not every loser who stands by her man is afraid for her life.

In terms of the political analogy, many Democrats do in fact walk away, give up, quit, stop engaging a rigged game. As RFK Jr. has pointed out, most Democratic politicians are just as bad as the Republicans, and the ones who throw us occasional crumbs are a minority. A better question would be why don't Americans walk away from the whole deranged establishment, but the answer is that the establishment owns everything and will kill to keep it all, there's no place else to go, and there's still enough of a middle class here to keep everybody confused about who's on what side.

Yes but.... 03.Mar.2005 23:53

George Bender

Why DO Democrats act like battered wives, continually going back to their party, one of their batterers? I know why the wives do it, they're scared and don't see an alternative. But it's still dysfunctional behavior. I'm not judging the wives, but I'm disgusted with the Democrats. Isn't enough ever enough?


Nothing changes ? 04.Mar.2005 00:55

asshole

I am a asshole, I'll grant you that. But the "political poet" -- I'm not so sure about him or her, as the case may be. Seems like the woman you are offended for is a friend that's been weighing on the mind of the "political poet" -- and how do we know what she or he went through or how much he or she tried to help? Or how many hours or dollars contributed to a women's shelter? Just don't know. Glad you put that dimension on it, though. Seems like the "political poet" was feeling a lot of frustration about more than one situation and that's how the situation came to be used for mental mastrubation. Maybe the term "battered wife sydrome" is in itself offensive and shouldn't be used ever? Maybe it wasn't very poetic?

But it seems like after 10 years, she finally did safely leave that other asshole. So maybe SOMETHING sometimes changes?

I'll relay this back to the "political poet," who will surely be as appreciative as yours truly, this asshole, already is.

payback time 04.Mar.2005 05:19

marc mbatko@lycos.com

Chaelan MacTavish's article "And now screwing Americans: Tort Reform" in the PSU Vanguard 2/25/2005 reveals that Democrats lack the principle to oppose "innocent" corporations like Merck. Merck contributed more than $300K and is now shielded from consumer suits. The tradition of checks and balances seems to be replaced by the path of least resistance, the system of revolving doors, in this murky time of payback. Justice threatens to fall by the way side or be redefined as vague equal opportunities.
With a love for life and passion for the future, we can resist the corruption eroding our political-economic system and win people to an anti-authoritarian coalition for distributional justice and inclusivity. Fight poverty, not the poor!

http://www.mbtranslations.com
http://www.corpwatch.org

hrumph 04.Mar.2005 08:20

S

The democrats are not victims. They have started many wars, killed countless people and enslaved millions more with their neo-liberal policies.

Now maybe, some portion of the democratic constituency could be called victims, but they are not victims of republicans, they are victims of a democratic party that cares nothing about them and which is wholly owned and controlled by greed and power lust.

Much of the democratic constituency is upset only because they are not in power, not because of what power is doing.

Post by "Asshole" is the smartest of all 04.Mar.2005 21:38

Political Poet

So, yeah, it wasn't poetic. It was an angry post. And after what Asshole said, there's not much to say, than the fact that I've been takling to this friend through the years, talking to her family (who is close to her and can help in every way), but the fact is she waited ten years, and if any of you were to meet her two boys, you'd be shocked, saddened, and eventually if you were me, you'd be mad at her.
Now I also care about politics, and I care about minorities and the lower social classes as that's where I come from and it's a shame what happened in the last two elections, and I see the same pattern repeated again and again of democrats complaining, whining, but not doing what they have to do to save the "children:" the American population.

The battered wive is not a victim here, she's an acomplice.

Asshole's got it 04.Mar.2005 21:40

Political Poet

So, yeah, it wasn't poetic. It was an angry post. And after what Asshole said, there's not much to say, than the fact that I've been takling to this friend through the years, talking to her family (who is close to her and can help in every way), but the fact is she waited ten years, and if any of you were to meet her two boys, you'd be shocked, saddened, and eventually if you were me, you'd be mad at her.
Now I also care about politics, and I care about minorities and the lower social classes as that's where I come from and it's a shame what happened in the last two elections, and I see the same pattern repeated again and again of democrats complaining, whining, but not doing what they have to do to save the "children:" the American population.

The battered wive is not a victim here, she's an acomplice.

CRUX 05.Mar.2005 16:39

some guy

That's just it. The Left keeps looking for THE BIG issue that's going to sink the Bush machine. Gannon is the latest. 911. Kitty Kelley. Halliburton. bla blah- it doesn't matter what happens- Cheney could get busted as a cannibal and no one would give a f___. The mainstream Press ARE the same people as the jerks in the White House. Same club of Demonic losers. American's brains are fried. Stick a fork in 'em. They're DONE. 50 years of TV have undone the mental evolution of 50 million years. We're stuck with Shrub untill 2008-deal with it.

more than simply a battered wife 06.Mar.2005 22:18

greg snyder

The battered wife is a good analogy but it doesn't totally explain the pathology. Some of the behaviors are strikingly similar. Part of the problem is also that the democrats are just as entrenched in the corrupt system as the dark side. That is, they work in an environment that is perverted by big political dollars which turns them into hos and helps determine all of their political actions. If ever true political reform becomes a reality in this country there may be a chance that differences may emerge between parties. Heck, maybe the United States could even try having more than one political party. Another problem with most democrats is that they don't stand up for anything they believe in. (But isn't that also part of battered wife syndrome?) That's probably due mainly to the fact that the intensity of the hostile political atmosphere in Washington DC is so poisonous for them or for anyone who even so much as whispers anything that may be perceived as a dissenting view, that they may find themselves ostracized, censured, or pressured into changing position so that they will be in agreement with the party line. The politically conservative forces, which is another way of saying the leaders of business in America, have secured their position over the last decade or so by allying themselves very successfully with fundamentalist christians that control many of the churches in the country. They see the blending of church and state as being a good and desireable thing because it has helped them attain their goals of gaining control of many of the state governments, Congress, the Senate, the Executive and the judiciary branches of government. Here in Oregon, measure 36 was put on the ballot in part because many of the ministers in the state took the idea that same sex couples being in love and wanting to get married (the very nerve of them to think that they have the right to the symbolic act of pledging their love to one another publicly and to hope for and expect acknowledgement of their pledge and love) to their pulpit with the expectation that everyone in the congregation would sign the odious petition. And they did. It worked very well. It was a very strong show of numbers. Couple that nationally with the apathy and/or ignorance, I'm not really sure what it's all about, that drives over 33% of all eligible voters in the United States to never bother to vote. Democrats are now a minority in the government which makes whatever position they have that much less meaningful. They probably feel somewhat disenfranchised like many people do after having voted in the last 2 presidential elections. I don't expect democrats to change or to be able to show any differences of opinion until power has been redistributed and has become more balanced which will not happen as long as big business and fundamentalist christians control national politics and for as long as so many average americans are apathetic and apolitical. I don't see a revolution happening. But, maybe, after the combination of big business and fundamentalist christianity have fucked life up so badly for a critical mass of average Americans, maybe then they will wake up and smell the coffee and more of them will become involved to vote in more representational politicians. I , however, won't be holding my breath waiting for this to happen. And I won't be looking for any meaningful change in the behavior of democratic politicians anytime in the near future.

What you don't know 24.Mar.2005 10:24

ALT

These comments and analogies between politics and battered women are obscene and you "brilliant" speakers want to hear yourselves talk so much, you flippantly make this some little wordplay game. None of you obviously know anything about the true pathology of battered women's sydrome-whether you like it or not-it is rampant in our country and the men running the shop care so little about these poor women that suffer a form of continual post traumatic stress disorder that they cannot even begin to reason or look for help-if, if it is available. I have been a battered women and I personally know that when you are in the middle of it, your reasoning and decision-making abilities are greatly impaired by the trauma itself, compounding these incapacities everytime in happens again. These symptoms are documented facts! To make judgements like "She was the accomplice" makes me perfectly heartbroken and ill. The person that said this has no heart and whomever started this forum is uninformed and arrogant to not have taken the time to explore this issue before blowing women out of the water like I was today, looking on the web for help. How trite of all of you when people are getting killed, maimed, and emotionally damaged for life. In the years to come, when more of this dirty little secret in our society becomes blown wide open for all to see, you will all see how wrong you are. But none of you would probably care because by all of your comments, none of you as an ounce of humanity to participate in a discussion such as this. It's outrageous.