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Dubya's Patronizing Act

George II Wants "Renewal" Of Patriot Act
BUSHINGTON, D.C.(Dominion of Cheney) -- Emperor
George II yesterday "urged" the Congress to "re-
authorize" the Patriot Act(s), the Empire's
widely criticized "anti-terrorism" edict.

At the swearing-in ceremony for A.G. Alberto
"Speedy" Gonzalez, George II said that he
would not allow the passage of time or the
illusion of safety to weaken his resolve in
this new "war on terrorism."
George II also said that there must be no
delay from the Senate in giving his nominees
the okay, in order to quickly fill the
vacancies in the courts.

The Patriot Act gave the Homeland Security Schutz-
staffien unlimited authority to conduct total
surveillance, greatly expanded the powers of law-
enforcement agencies to pursue cases of "domestic
terrorism", it allows for the increased use of
material witness warrants, which would allow the
Empire to hold "suspects" indefinitely, and it
allowed the Empire to conduct secret trials against
"enemy combatants."

George II said that many key parts of his royal
proclamation are set to "expire" at the end of
this year, and Congress must immediately renew
them. "The Patriot Act has been vital to my
success in tracking "terrorists", said the
Emperor, "and in disrupting their plans."
George II praised the dedication of former A.G.
John Ashcroft for using the Patriot Act to
produce a drop in felonies, and his success in
his counter-terrorism work, and making the
Empire safe and secure.

Gonzalez said he was honoured to be included in
the Emperor's Court. "The Homeland Security
Schutzstaffien will do its best to ensure that
the war on terrorism is successful", said
Gonzalez, "and we will deal with all other threats
to the Empire." "I will continue to defeat all
injustices, with my integrity and my devotion to
maintaining the highest ideals of the Empire."

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