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Racist 'History Test' chain email & response

response to a circulating chain email with well-intentioned, but nevertheless racist content.
I received the following email and felt compelled to share my response below (please feel free to share this with any numbskull that sends you this tripe):

> >
> >
> >Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the
> following multiple choice
> test. The events are actual cuts from past history.
> They actually
> happened!!!
> >
> >Do you remember?
> >
> >1. -1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by
> > a. Superman
> > b. Jay Leno
> > c. Harry Potter
> > d. Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17
> and 40
> >
> >2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were
> kidnapped and massacred
> by
> > a. Olga Korbett
> > b. Sitting Bull
> > c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over
> by:
> > a. Lost Norwegians
> > b. Elvis
> > c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were
> kidnapped in Lebanon by:
> > a. John Dillinger
> > b. The King of Sweden
> > c. The Boy Scouts
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was
> blown up by:
> > a. A pizza delivery boy
> > b. Pee Wee Herman
> > c. Geraldo Rivera
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was
> hijacked and a 70 year old
> American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard
> in his wheelchair by:
> > a. The Smurfs
> > b. Davy Jones
> > c. The Little Mermaid
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens,
> and a US Navy diver
> trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
> > a. Captain Kidd
> > b. Charles Lindberg
> > c. Mother Teresa
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> > 8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
> > a. Scooby Doo
> > b. The Tooth Fairy
> > c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the
> first time by:
> > a. Richard Simmons
> > b. Grandma Moses
> > c. Michael Jordan
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and
> Tanzania were bombed by:
> > a. Mr. Rogers
> > b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from
> Wild Bill' s women
> problems
> > c. The World Wrestling Federation
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two
> were used as missiles to
> take out the World Trade Centers and of the
> remaining two, one crashed into
> the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and
> crashed by the
> passengers.Thousands of people were killed by:
> > a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and
> Elmer Fudd
> > b. The Supreme Court of Florida
> > c Mr. Bean
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> > 12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in
> Afghanistan against:
> > a. Enron
> > b. The Lutheran Church
> > c. The NFL
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and
> murdered by:
> > a. Bonnie and Clyde
> > b. Captain Kangaroo
> > c. Billy Graham
> > d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages
> of 17 and 40
> >
> >Nope, .....I really don't see a pattern here to
> justify profiling, do you?
> >
> >So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone,
> particularly fanatics
> intent on killing us, airport security screeners
> will no longer be allowed
> to profile certain people They must conduct random
> searches of 80-year-old
> women, little kids, airline pilots with proper
> identification, secret agents
> who are members of the President's security detail,
> 85-year old Congressmen
> with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and
> former Governor Joe Foss,
> but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40
> alone because of
> profiling.
> >
> >Let's send this to as many people as we can so that
> the Gloria Aldreds and
> other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal
> Justices that want to
> thwart common sense, feel doubly ashamed of
> themselves - if they have any
> such sense.
> >
> >As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest
> Gump" so aptly put it,
> >"Stupid is as stupid does."
> >
> >Come on people wake up!!!
> >Keep this going. Pass it on to everyone in your
> address book.
> >Our Country and our troops need our support!
> >


( http://dictionary.reference.com/search...)

I could write the same narrow-minded diatribe about
the historical malevolence of one 'group of white,
male Caucasian ideologues between 17 & 40' and it too
would justify rounding 'em all up and SHOOTIN' 'em
against a wall, but I doubt I'll live to see the day
when THAT racial profiling is a matter of public
policy. I'm sure the Ku Klux Klan in the 60's would
have written something similar about the evils of
integration with 'those darkies' too, or for that
matter why don't we just round up those evil,
slant-eyed Japs and put 'em in camps again too? While
we're at it, let's just re-write history to forget the
atrocities of SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS of Christian
Crusades, the genocide of the American Indian,
innumerable lynchings and the bombing of little black
girls in the basement of southern churches, and why
not re-classify that little failed Nazi 'experiment'
as 'poor public policy'?

There is NO justification for knee-jerk racism. Not
now, not in 1942 and NOT EVER!! To paraphrase Ben
Franklin 'they that would sacrifice essential liberty
for safety deserve neither'. Once in my youth I swore
an oath to defend this country from enemies foreign
AND domestic, and from my current perspective the only
clear and present danger today is from WITHIN. This
flag-waving, goose-stepping mentality of "Amerikkka
Uber Alles" and 'preemptive war' is the FOURTH REICH
threatening your LIBERTIES! Yet you're stupid enough
to believe that airport 'security' confiscating
Grandma's fingernail clippers is MAKING AMERICA
SAFER!?!? WAKE UP!!! The borders are WIDE OPEN and
BUTT IN COACH!! WHY? Because there is NO *credible*
terrorist threat in America and in THREE YEARS there

The intellectually-challenged Special Olympian that
wrote this poorly conceived crap chain email is
probably the same poorly conceived jackass that has a
!@#$ yellow ribbon on his monster truck saying
"support the troops" while kids are in the Middle East
dying for his privilege of having one of the lowest
subsidized gasoline prices in the world. Meanwhile
he's voting for an inbred, sociopath, wannabe-redneck
that just eviscerated 150 social programs in his new
budget, INCLUDING VETERANS BENEFITS, but he and his
little !@#$!@# yellow ribbon "support the troops"...
with crappy chain mail spam... riiiight.

Excuse me while I shove that yellow ribbon so far up
where-the-sun-don't-shine that he can use it for
yellow ribbon DENTAL FLOSS!! But what do I know? I'm
just another homeless veteran who's been 'downsized'
and 'outsourced'. I keep forgetting, there IS no
recession in the Bush regime's reality-distortion

People, I beg of you: Use your head for something
besides keeping your ears from bumping together...
READ ABOUT PNAC HERE (Project for New American
Century):  http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/
The 9/11 attack, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and
the coming wars elsewhere are all part of a large plan
to establish American political, economic and military
superiority in this new millennium. "The end justifies
the means" is the evil raison d'etre of the current
administration and they don't care how high the bodies
stack to achieve their ends.

The Pentagon refuses to tally the Iraqi dead, but
conservative estimates put Iraqi casualties at OVER
100,000 people... MOSTLY civilian and at least HALF of
whom were women and CHILDREN. Someone's daughter,
someone's mother, someone's wife, someone's only son.
Put YOURSELF in THEIR shoes for just ONE moment,
picture the shattered body of YOUR niece in your arms,
imagine cradling your newlywed husband as his last
breath slips away, imagine returning home from work
one day to find the bodies of your WHOLE family in
the 'collateral damage' bomb crater that was once your
ancestral home. Now, imagine being offered a check for
a paltry few thousand dollars for your 'troubles'.
THIS is our American legacy, paid for by the taxed
sweat of our labors and written in Iraqi and Afghani
blood for the ages. How can a so-called 'Christian
Nation' justify killing people to prove that killing
people is wrong? ESPECIALLY when there is "NO CREDIBLE
LINK" between Al-Queda and Iraq? NONE! The 9/11
Commission even SAID SO!

A former Marine and United Nations weapons inspector
named Scott Ritter once said, "I can train a monkey to
wave an American flag. That does not make the monkey

Turn off your Fux News Channel, Turn off your
Television (try THIS instead:
 http://www.democracynow.org/ ), start READING your
newspapers online, and DARE TO THINK FOR YOURSELF! Our
country DOES need our support and our TROOPS
DESPERATELY need our support, but that does NOT mean
sacrificing liberty for 'safety' and if you TRULY
support the soldiers, you'd FIGHT to get them HOME and
FIGHT FOR VETERANS' RIGHTS. Read what soldiers in the
war have to say:  http://www.operationtruth.org

A lot of young kids are coming home from the war with
missing limbs and SHATTERED hearts and minds. VETERANS
FROM **THIS** Iraqi war are ALREADY showing up at
homeless shelters of America!! They need more than
!@#$# yellow ribbons on your monster truck and stupid
chain emails, they need our love, our support and MOST
IMPORTANTLY our political solidarity to INSIST on
funding for veterans benefits. WRITE your elected
officials and tell them what you think!

Email THIS to everyone you know and even complete


I have good aim.

"I'm MAD as HELL, and I'm NOT gonna TAKE it ANY

yet another veteran for common sense: PEACE!

add a comment on this article

Here's a start of a list, add more so we can combat this crap 08.Feb.2005 04:51


Do you remember who:

Claimed to be the return of Christ, led a cult and had Sharon Tate (7 months pregnant), the LeBiancas, along with five others, killed just for the hell of it?
a) Charley Brown
b) Andy Manson
c) Vincent Bugliosi
d) A white male between the age of 30 and 70

Claimed to be the return of Christ, led a cult coercing or forcing approximately 1000 people (including 280 children) to either commit suicide or be shot. He also had Congressman Leo Ryan shot and killed:
a) James Dean
b) Davey Jones
c) Jerry Brown
d) A white male between the age of 30 and 70

Was the self-proclaimed "Lamb of God" and sacrificed 80 followers, including 25 children, in a fire while refusing to surrender to FBI agents when they tried to serve a warrant on him for illegal stockpiling of arms?
a) Michelle Branch
b) Ronen Koresh
c) King David
d) A white male between the age of 30 and 70

Taught that he was a messenger from the "same place that Jesus was from, the Evolutionary Kingdom Level Above Human," and that it was through him, and only through him, that his followers would also get to that place. This caused 39 people to commit suicide and "teleport" with him to the next plane:
a) Marshall Dillion
b) Christina Applegate
c) Betty White
d) A white male between the age of 30 and 70

Hmmm, wonder who should be "profiled"?

White men 08.Feb.2005 09:32

March Hare

It's very easy to make someone look bad if you include only the information you want to include (See: Fox News).

JFK was killed by a white man

Timothy McVeah is a white man

Charles Manson is a white man

The Watergate conspirators were white men

The man who shot MLK was white

David Koresh was white

I guess that means that I should be rounded up and thrown in jail because I am a white man.

Oh yeah 08.Feb.2005 09:33

March Hare

And Adolf Hitler was white too.

Call Homeland Security Immediately 08.Feb.2005 11:39

U. Sam

This email and anyone who has it on their computer is violating the USAPA or Patriot Act.

No need to get huffy, just call Homeland Security and tell them you know of a group of people conspiring against Americans aka domestic terrorists. Federal law mandates these people are investigated by law enforcement.

SEC. 1002(b)(4)

There are two ways to look at this, the patriot act is bullshit and by extension Dubya's war on (t)ERRORS is bullshit or somebody needs to get a visit from the secret police...I mean DHS. Take your pick. Well, there is one other option, throw the patriot act in the garbage along with all it's domestic terrorist supporters. Think fatherland security will investigate? Nah, they're too busy infiltrating nursing homes looking for dissident grandmothers opposed to the war. I feel safer already.

Hey while we're at it, I think skull&bones, freemasons, secret societies, et al...also violate the patriot act. Since when can you meet in secret, to discuss secret plans, that nobody knows about. Sounds like terrorists to me, this is post 9/11, and I'm SCAAAAAAAAARED. So Dubya, his dad, and kerry better start coming clean about what goes on in those secret societies. I don't know if they're conspiring against americans, do you? Looks like we'll have to call DHS for an investigation into this religious cult that may be sponsoring terrorism.

How's that omellette taste freedom lovers?

Wait a minute... 08.Feb.2005 16:48


What if Mr. Bean really DID pull off 9/11?

They can't even et their "facts" right 08.Feb.2005 20:39


The correct answer to question 1 is actually "none of the above".

As anyone who has the wit to work a search engine or who enjoys true crime stories can discover in a minute, Sirhan Bishara Sirhan is not correctly described as a"Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40 ". The Sirhan family was Christian, not Muslim; Sirhan himself dabbled in a variety of religions, with his longest-lasting interests being the Baptist church, the Seventh-Day Adventists, and a hodgepodge of occult beliefs.

The Crime Library Web site has a pretty good piece on the RFK assassination which even includes some of the conspiracy theories surrounding it.

Phew, such garbage 09.Feb.2005 11:52


The Author of the "history" test needs look no further for his enemies than those who brainwashed or employed the nitwit who designed the questionnaire.

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