BUSHINGTON, D.C.(Dominion of Cheney) — Emperor George
II made a new Royal Proclamation this week, which
says that he is forming a new division for the Grand
This new army division will be based on the old
cavalry Rough Riders, from the Spanish-American
War -- but the real surprising news is that
George II says he will lead the division himself.
"I am just like ole Cap'n Teddy, who didn't sissy-
foot around. I'm gonna gather up a big bunch of
cowboys (preferably from Texas), and a heap of
other good old boys, and we're gonna git over
there to Iraq and charge through the dunes into
Tikrit. When we git there, we're gonna throw some
good ole meercan hemp over a big tree and hang
that sob al-Qaeda terrorist", said George II.
George II said that his royal subjects should not
worry about Homeland security while he was in Iraq
leading the war and boosting the troops' morale.
"My brother, Prince Cheney, really rules the
Empire. Now I got lots of time to do all this
cool fun stuff", he said.
The Cavalry division will not be an all volunteer
corp like the original Rough Riders.
The Emperor said that he had personally hand-
picked the troops to be the "New Rough Riders",
using all of his Texas connections to round-up
all of the patriotic volunteers.
"The New Rough Riders are gonna go through Iraq
like shit through a goose till we invite Saddam
to our necktie party, and if we happen to find
them hidden weapons and such, all the better",
said Emperor George II.
"Jest like ole Teddy, who charged up San Juan Hill,
ahm gonna ride ole paint here, and charge right up
the crack of Saddam's curly haired butt!" said the
Emperor, smirking happily.