The Center for Disease Control has
issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of sexually transmitted disease.
This disease is contracted through
dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim
(pronounced "gonna reelect him").
Many victims have contracted it after
having been screwed for the past 4 years,
in spite of having taken measures to
protect themselves from this especially
troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequellae of individual infected
with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not
limited to: Anti-social personality disorder
traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct
messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the
English language; extreme cognitive dissonance;
inability to incorporate new information;
pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept
responsibility for actions; exceptional
cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of
geography and history; tendencies toward
creating evangelical theocracies; and a
strong propensity for categorical, all-or
nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists
andepidemiologists are amazed and baffled that
this malignant disease originated only a few
years ago in a Texas Bush.
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[Personal medical note to twospiritwarrior: your phrase above - exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado - should read: exceptional cowardice "masked" by acts of misplaced bravado. This may merely be a typo, or it could be an early sign of G. Lectim. DO NOT DELAY: seek immediate medical testing and treatment.]
An increasingly common symptom of "sufferers" of Gonorrhea Lectim is the act of going to a voting district other than one's own on election day. In advanced cases, the "afflicted" attempt to affect the vote totals by intimidating other voters in order to suppress the vote count of the challenger rather than focusing on the more traditional technique of increasing the number of ballots for one's favored candidate by advocating for that candidate or actually casting a vote for him at one's own precinct.