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Howzabout critical mass?

I'm figgerin out the whozit and whatzit about Critical Mass.
We at the clown house have been kickin out awsome tall bikes, choppers and other stupid, danger-laden bikes and I want to know about Critical Mass.
Is st still going strong this time of year? We have formed a new bike gang called "Municipal Bike Gang" (we can be sooo stupid sometimes)
I aint been Critical Massin in a few months of Sundays, is it going on better with all this global warming?
How about the C-Mass list?
email me  dawgsnax@fastmail.fm
by the way we do make vegetarian dog treats 5 bucks a pound.
D the C

homepage: homepage: http://www.bigbangcirkus.com
address: address: the clown house

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Kudos to the Clowns! 24.Jan.2005 17:10


Godzilla! Nice bike. How does it ride?

As for CM... the PoPo are particularly rabid when it comes to hittin the CHVNK crowd.

No lights? you're screwed.

Drinkin enough PBR to generate a wide band field? you're screwed.

A danger you yourself and others? (we riders of the apoclypse usually don't care about danger but the cops sure do) Your screwed.

I would suggest not hittin' the CM unless your bike is decked out with all the legal necessities and you can actually RIDE a tall bike. (we have seen many who play but can't ride)

If you're up to it... ride, my friend, ride.

But make sure that you are legal... else the pigs get their hooves in ya'.

Godzilla rides like a dream 24.Jan.2005 17:38


We only ride tall bikes and I noticed more than a one cop giving us the thumbs up, I dont blame them at all, those are some cool ass bikes, they dont however have the lighting you speak of so I'm thinking it would be cool to strap a 20,000 candle power, rechargable lamp up on it and really light up the Critical Mass (I also set up a sound system).
Godzilla is one of last years bikes and it still rides well for the wear(to big to go under cover so it endured the rain)now we have two "new and improved" tall bikes and a couple of spin cycles from last year, cant wait to see how far they can go in Downtown Portland.
Municipal bike gang has no ofiliation with the Chunk gang be we gotziz hella respect for them.
D the C
spin cycle
spin cycle "the adult bigwheel"

ah 25.Jan.2005 03:18


those are some sweet bikes, I must say!

bikes bikes bikes!

Watch them coppers 26.Jan.2005 13:54

CM rider

Last Tall Bike I saw ride CM got a ticket for running a yellow.
Rider said to copper: I couldn't stop soon enough, so I pushed through.
Copper to rider: You couldn't stop soon enough, so you're unsafe. You get ticket, me get power rush.
Dunno what the outcome was in court.

Unless the cops have changed under direction from the new mayor and city councillor, they will persecute you for standing out. However, they may just have changed. Their attitude on J20 was somewhat improved. They said "Please" over a loud speaker (as in "Please clear the intersection)

The cops seem to let the ride go up until a certain point, and then start ticketing like crazy. So once you seem someone get issued a ticket, you could leave the ride, with the knowledge that your's is coming soon.

Or you will get ticketed. The law requires a good front light, and a rear reflector. The coppers, very incorrectly, may try to tell you that you need a rear light too. This is wrong (they sometimes soooo stupid), but they can still give you a ticket that you would have to go to court to fight.
From a safety standpoint, riding with a front light is a really, really good idea. Rear lights are nice, but not critical. Riders w/o front lights face much higher risk of getting hit by oncoming/turning traffic at intersections and traffic coming out a driveway/side road. And if that traffic happens to be 3 tonnes of steel, you will get f@#$ed up.
Skip the bar one night and use the money for a front light instead. The batteries in LED lights last a really long time. And don't leave your lights on your bike when you park, otherwise they'll become somebody else's lights.

Oh yeah, the coppers are real nice... 27.Jan.2005 04:42


When you are ridin' by yourself.

I have had the pigs ride our bikes and have a whole fuck ton of fun....

But that dosen't mean that I'm gona' be their friend.

Don't let the Po Po's friendly demeanor fool ya'. They are out there for one reason only... and that is to arrest citizens for their actions as they may contridict the law.

Sure the pigs have some leeway... but they often use it to their advantage and not to the advantage of the peoples' soverignty in this, our Cascadian bioregion.

From BC to Humbolt the pigs are workin' against us...

and they are workin' for those who wish to bring about the "End Tines" and fulfill the prophesy of Revolations.

Scarry shit man but it's somewhat true.

Don't take my word for it... look it up. follow the money.

But... for those of you who are willing to bike around town... do it. Do it well and don't be afraid of the pigs.

Do it on your own... bomb a hill... crash a party with your crew.

If we riders of the apocolypse do not ride with our breathren then who will?

Tall, Long, Short, Crazy or otherwise... ride man ride.

Critical Mass meets at North Park Blocks 27.Jan.2005 15:54

CM personality

I noticed this hasn't been mentioned yet: CM meets at NW Couch & Park, 5:30 every last Friday of the month. The website had been inactive for a long time, but it's being re-invigorated:

Anyone interested in helping drive this thing (the website)? The administrator, Aaron, lives in Ashland now and doesn't keep up with Portland CM, but is willing to hand over the keys. Post here if you, uh, know anyone interested.

my web pages are all stuck together. 27.Jan.2005 17:57

Dingo the clown of the Pepto Dizmal clownarchy dawgsnax@fastmail.fm

yup, I think its from downloading "Games" on the internet, anyway my computer is so slow it types in crayon, it's so old, you plug it into a bon fire, it's so stupid it calls me "Carl".I dont think I can help with no web administratin but I sure as the dickens hope somebubble does (it called me Carl again).


Chlorine Enema Jones

You already know the tune!

Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a Critical Mass parade!

Biking through the streets,
In a Critical Mass parade,
Through the lights we go,
Laughing all the way.
Bells on bicycles ring,
Making spirits bright,
What fun it is to ride and sing a protest song tonight!
I drive a spaceship, cuz it's ONE LESS CAR!
I drive a spaceship, cuz it's ONE LESS CAR!

critical mass in portland 29.Jan.2005 18:19

antagonistic jerk

does it seem to anyone else that portland's critical mass is weak as hell because we just let the cops push us around and ticket us?
it seems like they once tazered someone and critical mass hasn't been the same.

why do we have to stand for this? Signaling every turn, wearing bike lights... stopping at red lights for god's sake?
what fun is critical mass when you just let the cops push you around?

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