Special Holiday Recipe: ROASTED DOUBLE-STUFFED STUFFED PIG A LA FALLUJAH
At this special, festive time of the year, I thought it most fitting to share my special favorite holiday recipe with the nice net people:
1. Start with a small American pig, (technically, a shoat--the small ones tend to be cockier). Subject him to police terror tactics until he is Hill Street blue.
2. Take one of the (many) foul balls of the Yankees' "sluggers" this year, and paint the outlines of the World on its surface.
3. Shove the ball into the pig's snout until he gags, and then marinade the pig in wine, (or gasoline made from stolen Iraqi oil, but this sometimes blows up).
4. Light an American flag.
5. Shove the burning American flag up the pig's ass.
6. Stuff the pig back up the ass of his patriotic sow of a mother.
7.Using the staff of the flag as spit, roast the ensemble over a slow fire for up to six (6) hours. Make certain to twist the spit 90 degrees each time the sow squeals. Also, you must constantly be loudly humming the "Star Spangled Banner" and whistling "Onward Christian Soldiers", simultaneously, throughout the process. (Do this to entertain the pig, so that he doesn't get bored).
8. You'll know when it's done when it has quit raping, stealing, lieing and menacing and killing. (This often takes quite some time.).
9. Serve with a quality French white wine. Bon apetit!
As long as the pigs are allowed to maraud in the streets ANYWHERE,
WE ARE ALL FALLUJAHNS!
Fallujah them All! Fallujah lives! Fallujah forever!