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Jesus was a Liberal

OK, Christians. As we approach Jesus' 2005th birthday, it's time to follow his words and stop voting Republican.
JESUS WAS A LIBERAL

By Chaelan MacTavish, Counter Propaganda

[This article was published in the Portland State University Vanguard, 12/3/2004. Chaelan MacTavish can be reached at  counterpropaganda@dailyvanguard.com.]


OK, Christians. As we approach Jesus' 2005th birthday, it's time to follow his words and stop voting Republican.

Read the Bible and you will see the obvious: Jesus was a bleeding heart liberal. He believed in the core liberal values: feed the hungry. Cure the sick. Be nice to people. Don't hurt others. Share. Take care of each other. The ideals that conservatives hate and fear with all of their being, these are the values that Jesus Christ held dear.

Read the Bible: Jesus did not like the rich. From John 2, when he threw over the moneychanger's tables, to when he said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God" (Matt. 19:24) he never mentioned "free trade" or "estate tax." Being rich wasn't the bad thing, however, it was the greed that came with it. If a rich man gave away all he owned, he could go to heaven (Mk. 10:21). But wealthy Republicans don't have such a good chance.

Imagine Jesus in modern society. Would he forget that archaic "turning the other cheek" nonsense, and advocate wars of aggression and the death penalty? Of course not. "Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matt.5:39). So why do so many Christians turn to the warlike Republican Party, if Jesus never would have? God, guns and gays, goes the conservative mantra. Many Christians erroneously believe that Jesus was against homosexuality, and join the conservatives to keep with their church. In fact, it is the church that calls homosexuality a sin, and not the Savior on which the church is based.

Jesus never advocates homosexuality in the Bible, but neither does he condemn it. To say that he would not allow two monogamous, devout Christians of the same sex entry into heaven for loving one another is absurd. The story of Sodom and Gommorah (Gen. 19), which is usually trumpeted as proof of the Bible's condemnation of homosexuality, is inapplicable. They were perverts there, sure. They would have "known" anything that crossed their path, even the two angels who visited. But to say that rapists are the same as gays is not an interpretation that can be attributed to Christ.

As for Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination," the Hebrew word for "abomination" was "to'ebah." It was also used to describe the mixing of meat and milk pans in a kitchen, wearing a belt on Saturdays, and other "ritual impurities," the word for "moral violation," or sin, is not used in connection with any of these acts.

Jesus loved everyone, unlike modern conservatives. He hung out with prostitutes and thieves; he would treat gays differently than Pat Robertson does. Even if they were sinners, it doesn't mean they deserve condemnation or second-class status. The compassion of Jesus cannot be translated into the condemnation of the Religious Right. They condemn others not because they are Christians but because they are mean.

The Son of God did not advocate striking potential enemies first, or keeping what you earn without sharing, or condemning other sinners. Jesus was definitely not a conservative.

Come on, Christians. It's time to start reading the book yourself and finding some people to talk about it with besides the ditto-heads that watch Fox News all day long. Because when the Rapture comes, you can be sure that the hypocrites and conservatives will be the ones left behind.

homepage: homepage: http://www.mbtranslations.com
address: address: http://www.jcrelations.net

jesus was a communist 19.Dec.2004 11:36

:-)

remember what he told about the rich.
remember how he helped the poor.
remember how he helped the weak.

remember: for doing this he was tortured and killed by state.

remember how the first christians lived - in communities were everything belonged to everybody. were everything was shared.

"at least he wasn't no goddamn jew" 19.Dec.2004 12:06

pokiuer

quoting the dumbest motherfucker i ever met

would jesus have become a christian? 19.Dec.2004 12:21

mirror

I guess the herd mentality of christianity seems like something jesus would never have had anything to do with.

Well thank god 19.Dec.2004 12:33

for the jesus endorsement

I will walk with an extra skip in my step to know that the person who "did not come to this world to bring peace, but a sword..." is the poster-boy for the democrats. Sounds about right anyway.-
--->John Kerry is also rich<----

Why do people in our world need to use jesus as a celebrity endorsement for their causes(advertisements)?

no no no. 19.Dec.2004 13:47

this thing here

look, you've got it all wrong.

jesus christ was clearly a white american business man of northern european descent, holding an executive position in a fortune 500 corporation. he votes republican, because voting republican brings him closer to his father. scripture clearly shows this.

jesus believed that white people were better than black people, and brown people, and he went to his favorite golf course when he had the chance. he wore navy blue suits, and drove a cadillac SUV, and lived in a big house with tan siding and a brick chimney and entry way, in the nicest section of town. again, scripture clearly documents this.

jesus hated gay people a lot, and he also hated liberal types too. jesus believed in hatred and punishment for all sinners. jesus believed that capitalism and money changing was the eptitomy of godliness, a gift sent from his father for the little sheep. jesus believed in war and death and exploitation, and bombing other people to show them who was better. his life story clearly exemplifies this. people who dispute this clearly haven't read the bible, and aren't real christians.

two kinds of suckers 19.Dec.2004 14:05

just a thought

The idea that there are liberals and conservatives is crazy. Your dont really think that they truly exist do you? I think we can dump them in to one planet and call them folks. Lets try not to be divided and conqured.

may be he was a hippie? 19.Dec.2004 14:12

or something like that?

questions, questions, questions....

But Judas sought a world where no one starved or begged... 19.Dec.2004 14:19

Das Infidel

Chorus:

So stand up, stand up for Judas and the cause that Judas served
It was Jesus who betrayed the poor with his word

The Romans were the masters when Jesus walked the land
In Judea and in Galilee they ruled with an iron hand
And the poor were sick with hunger and the rich were clothed in splendour
And the rebels whipped and crucified hung rotting as a warning
And Jesus knew the answer
Said, Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, said, Love your enemies
But Judas was a Zealot and he wanted to be free
Resist, he said, The Romans' tyranny

Chorus

Jesus was a conjuror, miracles were his game
And he fed the hungry thousands and they glorified his name
He cured the lame and the lepers, he calmed the wind and the weather
And the wretched flocked to touch him so their troubles would be taken
And Jesus knew the answer
All you who labour, all you who suffer only believe in me
But Judas sought a world where no one starved or begged for bread
The poor are always with us, Jesus said

Chorus

Now Jesus brought division where none had been before
Not the slaves against their masters but the poor against the poor
Set son to rise up against father, and brother to fight against brother
For he that is not with me is against me, was his teaching
Said Jesus, I am the answer
You unbelievers shall burn forever, shall die in your sins
Not sheep and goats, said Judas, But together we may dare
Shake off the chains of misery we share"

Chorus

Jesus stood upon the mountain with a distance in his eyes
I am the way, the life, he cried, The light that never dies
So renounce all earthly treasures and pray to your heavenly father
And he pacified the hopeless with the hope of life eternal
Said Jesus, I am the answer
And you who hunger only remember your reward's in Heaven
So Jesus preached the other world but Judas wanted this
And he betrayed his master with a kiss

Chorus

By sword and gun and crucifix Christ's gospel has been spread
And 2.000 cruel years have shown the way that Jesus led
The heretics burned and tortured, and the butchering, bloody crusaders
The bombs and rockets sanctified that rain down death from heaven
They followed Jesus, they knew the answer
All non-believers must be believers or else be broken
So put no trust in Saviours, Judas said, For everyone
Must be to his or her own self - a sun

the biggest kind of sucker 19.Dec.2004 17:35

sucks all the lollipops at once

> The idea that there are liberals and conservatives is crazy.
> Your dont really think that they truly exist do you?

uh, yeah we do.

> I think we can dump them in to one planet and call them folks.

that's a LESS HELPFUL description of political struggle, not more helpful

> Lets try not to be divided and conqured.

by pretending that division and conquest hasn't already happened, and is not continuing to happen?

maybe if we all just BELIEVE hard enough ...

just because you imagine that the guy who's gonna come throw you out of your house if you can't scrape rent together next month is really "on your side," doesn't mean your ass won't end up in the street.

your imaginary friend 19.Dec.2004 18:52

Matthew 10:34

religion is a big part of the problem - stop spruking indefensible myths


and read your fucking BIBLE

or better yet 19.Dec.2004 22:22

mirror

...don't read your bible. It's a patriarchal biased text for conditioning the herd. If you believe in one, talk to god personally...jesus too...really....it's all right to do that.

What an assanine assertion 20.Dec.2004 06:58

johann

liberal, communist this is a silly article. But if you're looking for passages to help understand this poor exegesis try looking at Luke 14.33: So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your posessions.

I don't know any liberals or communists who can say that.

Bibleoteck 20.Dec.2004 09:06

Roulentia

God is light, god is spirit.

The Bible is a work of fiction written by manipulators rammed down the soft minded peoples sponge like craniums.

Find the light and drop the bible.