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Nunavut Defense Forces Block Attempt on Bush

Bush saved again. What a brave man!

Nunavut Defense Forces Block Attempt on Bush

IQALUIT - Nunavut authorities stopped an attempt on Bush today. Nunavut Defense Forces reports that a lone polar bear was intercepted while heading south. Scrolled on his side, in red paint, were the words "Fuck Bush." During questioning the bear refused to answer any questions and was handed over to American authorities, transferred in an unmarked aircraft to Washington D.C. and then deported to Syria. According to Syrian authorities, their interrogators have forced the bear to talk, revealing a secret network of al-Polar members scattered across Nunavut. These polar bears have been purchasing weapons from Wal-Mart stores in Alaska and then smuggling them across the Yukon to Nunavut.

Aerial surveillance suggests the a secret trans-polar root exists. Weapons of Mass Destruction are finding their way from Northern Afghanistan, across Central Asia and then on through Russia where they are transported beneath the polar cap by al-Qaeda seals. Polar bears have been seen using their white coats to blend into the ice near the Canadian side of the Arctic Ocean, waiting for the al-Qaeda seals to arrive.

The American Department of Homeland Security is pressuring Ottawa to join the defense forces of these two nations to resist this polar threat. Canadians are being asked to give up their sovereignty and learn to sing the Star Spangled Banner. "It's in their, you know, their best interest," said President George Bush. "We gotta smoke'm out and keep 'em running."

Marlene Jennings has asked all Canadians to smile kindly at Bush while he visits Canada lobbying for unity. "He's our neighbor," she is reported to have said, "the least we can do it give up our sovereignty to him."

waxing up my board, I'm surfin' for the lord 28.Nov.2004 17:44

lee harvey wilkes princip

Hunting with JC

I was out hunting with the Savior of man the past weekend in the Adirondacks. We were out for white tail mule deer. I was using my trusty marlin 3006 and the only Son of God had brought along his dad's old 30-30 Winchester.

Well, in this day and age of new fangled hunting gadgets I was kind of surprised to see the Host of Hosts shooting with such an old fashioned bang stick. I asked the Lamb of God if he made any concessions to modern technology. JC: "No Ken, I stick with the tried and true. I'm a real believer you know in, ah, the old saying if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Truer words were never spoken. The Carpenter of Nazareth used regular Winchester 150 grain silvertip rounds and that ammo has been around for about a hundred years.

Our hunting trip was a real success. The Fisherman from Gallilee managed to bag a couple of bucks in rut, and I gut shot a porcupine. Oh well, you got to laugh sometimes. The King of the Jews then asked me if I wanted to come with him and become a hunter of men. I said sure, and we headed out in his converted impala to the parking lot of a nearby Home Depot. He has this back seat that folds down and a sweet 50 cal sniper's rifle that's fitted with a 10x Zeiss... well, maybe I shouln't go into too many details about that....

But, long story short, we gotta lot of converts that day. And the Lord of Heaven got himself himself a snootful of fantastic trophies for his den.

A great weekend!