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imperialism & war | legacies | youth

Graduation Plans

A little skit for those cold winter nights. Please enjoy with a friend, some soft music and dim the lights. A real romantic play this is the kinda of stuff that would be good for the ABC movie of the week or the After School Special. There is nothing more beautiful than a burgeoning romance between two young people. Please honor the special someone in you life and act this out together. Promise to bring flowers later.
She- So what do you plan to do after graduation?

He- I don't know... probably just stick around here and kill a few old broads. Depends...

She- Wow, it really sounds like you got your life mapped out. I just don't know what I want to do yet.

He- Well, I gotta take over the family business, ya know...

She- Your dad was serial murderer too?

He- Ya, bet your bottom dollar he was. And he didn't take it too lightly either. I mean he was really committed.

She- Wow. You sound so really neat.

He- yeah, I am great to have around in a pickle.

She- (coyly and flirtatiously) So what do you like to do to your victims after you done?

He- Well, ya got to eat after a hard days work.

She- Ya.

He- I like 'em with mustard.

She- I've always wondered what the condiment of choice was for the Donner Party, myself.

He- Never could get into sushi. I like 'em cooked with a lot of onions.

She- Sure, I bet you do. I'm a pretty good cook myself.

He- I bet you are. You seem real sweet, like you would know your way around the kitchen.

She- Well, I kinda had a traditional upbringing.

He- Me too.

She- I just don't know what I am going to do once school lets out. I thought about stickin here for the summer and getting' a summer job. That way I could have some time to decide what I want to do. But mom is really pressuring me to become a missionary and bring the word of Jesus Christ, our savior to those dirty heathens over seas.

He- Yep, thought about that myself.

She- So what rank was your dad?

He- He was an admiral.

She- You must have really admired him.

He- Oh I loved his pictures of noses and ears that he took from his victims. When they say war is hell they are really right. It's hard coming back and givin' it all up cold turkey. I mean he was really laying his ass on the line invading poor farming communities without guns or weapons of any sort, raping and murdering children and infants in the name of capitalism and good ol' American democracy.

She- He sounds like a real hero. Those non violent Buddhists sound like real sickos.

He- It was hard not to hate them.

She- So when are you going to enlist?

He- I already did. Oil isn't something to be taken lightly and liberation is something I have always wanted to bring. I plan on liberating as many body parts as possible in Iraq.

She- Well, you are drawing on a proud tradition, one you should be pleased to be apart of.

He- Pride doesn't describe it. The feelings are overwhelming. The best part is going to be the only one with pictures of this war. Since they started killing and torturing independent journalists only military journalists are the ones with pictures. The pictures of me sodomizing young dead children will be worth a fortune one day.

She- You could even become President.

He- It's what a democracy is about.

She - I am so glad you are going to protect us and those crazy religious fanatics. They are so lucky that we aren't going to deal with them like we did those Indians.

He- What do you mean, "those Indians?" We gave them casino's didn't we?

She- Do you want to go to bible study with me tonight?

He- I'd be honored.