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Fuck the South

The Real Red State Flag
Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to
kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to
keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for
arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America? Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on
about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the
right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the
first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting
revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think
there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock
anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine
amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states.
And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off
from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real
you are, you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads.
Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American
than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what
it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking
bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and
enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for.
And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but
you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it's a shithole," we said,
but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It's your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass
kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can
you guess? Go on, guess. That's right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states
that receive the least and pay the most? It's too easy, asshole, they're blue states. It's not
your money, assholes, it's fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a
minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let's talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass
because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn
week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate, you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can
you guess? It's fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that's
right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the
lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that's just some aberration? How about this: 9 of
the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where
our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the
top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible
Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining
it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church,
right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time.
Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking
towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk
about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you
self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in
buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in
the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching,
confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.
Hurumph! 12.Nov.2004 16:03

True Blue

Hurumph Hurumph!!!

Nothing special about the Blues 12.Nov.2004 16:08


The last time I checked, Kerry was from Massachusetts (blue state) and he opposed gay marriage and supports Bush's war on terrorism.
There are many, many people in the south who are progressives and who are our allies. Your argument is infantile and wrong. It's not a north/south thing. Try doing a search on liberals in Blue states who now blame progressives (and gays) for Kerry's loss to Bush. We have more allies in the South than those phony allies like Barney Frank (Blue State), who blame us for being too progressive--i.e., not opportunistic like they are.

it's WAY past time 12.Nov.2004 16:57

yell if ya want

I was thinking just today that the reason we keep getting stomped whenever it even looks like we're moving ahead with rights for those of us who aren't white middle class males is because we start being conciliatory and oh so accepting of dickheads. It happened after the Civil Rights movement, when the ERA nearly got passed, when it seemed that gay folks might not have to stay in the closet to have a regular life. Some wingnuts come along with completely bogus wacko ideas and we politely listen because we want to be *compassionate* and *all-inclusive*. FUCK THAT! It's like putting lipstick on a pig. They are only interested in their agenda and they laugh at us for being weak. The only thing they understand is a kick in the ass or a fist shaken in their faces or really really loud voices. We don't have to shoot them (yet) but we have to speak to them in the only language they understand. The challenge of course is to not become a slightly different version of them but that won't be difficult to guard against. Stop patronizing wingnut businesses and quit letting your redneck relatives ruin every family gathering.

Founding Fathers 12.Nov.2004 17:35


such as Jefferson, Washington, Madison, Henry?

Great post 12.Nov.2004 17:43


Great post Unknown. Thank you. I wondered why it was seemed acceptable for Bush to insult Massachusetts during the campaign. He didn't deserve one vote from that state.

Myth 15.Nov.2004 08:53

Fallen One

Didn't most of the west vote Republican too? And only the South gets blamed? I guess liberals and democrats could not cry "Bush stole the election" this time, so instead they insult the voters. Yet, these who are bashing the South are also the same on people who try to preach tolerance and accepting of those who are different. Let's not forget, that Indian and Ohio voted Bush. Wisconsin and Michigan almost went to Bush. Around 6 of the 13 colonies were Southern states, and some of the most famous founding fathers were from the South. John Edwards, the democratic choice to be the vice president, was from the South. Bill Clinton, the most famous democrat in modern times is from Arkansas!! Al Gore, from Tennesse!