Some of you may wonder: How did this happen? Not I. If you just looked at all the pretty red and blue colored electoral maps of the banana republic, you could see that the states that voted for the idiot king are all inhabited by DumFuks.
It's 4:00 AM. Peter Jennings said goodnight hours ago, walking off his pedestal in disgust. He nearly tripped down the stairs of the little riser he had been perched upon, shooting bullets at George Will and the Republican national committee chairman, who looks like a cars salesman. figures...The streets are deathly quiet. there's no revolution in the air. I'm sitting in my black bikini underwear contemplating four more years with the cowboy. here in the new pan-american banana republic, with our strange, urine-colored money, they've hoisted that coconut-faced fascist (what a tired, overworked word) into the white (man's) house. Again. Mr. Jennings refused to call Ohio, for the stampeding, injun killin', baby rapin' retards that they are, in spite of their one-hundred thousand vote lean towards shrub. Jennings sneered into the camera and defied George Sr.'s idiot, inbred son to go and claim his prize without all the rubber tire heads in Ohio to give him the magic number. 270. and said goodnight, and fuck you, with the Junta leader only holding 254. Mr. Jennings, I salute your resolve. and thank you for being unable to hide your disgust, at 5:00 AM, EST.
Some of you may wonder: How did this happen? Not I. If you just looked at all the pretty red and blue colored electoral maps of the banana republic, you could see that the states that voted for the idiot king are all inhabited by DumFuks. That's right, we are a nation of DumFuks, and that's what allows Murder Inc. to continue their slaughter of innocents, and full frontal nude assault on the economy, the deficit, outsourcing jobs, raiding SS, eroding civil rights, etc. Cuz DumFuks beleeve that this here is a western movee weer inn an' the old shariff is dewin jus' fine, killin' the injuns, so...
Seriously, look at the states that voted for Kerry: Oregon, Washington, California, New York, Massachusetts. Now, look at the ones who hooted for that tin horn from Tex-ass: Montana, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Arkansas, Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee...You see? DumFuks.
Did you know the average IQ for the state of Oregon is a whopping 99. I shit you not. and yet, that's only about the 20th worst in the nation. 99 is like room temperature on a summer day, like my last birthday. Massachusetts leads the way with a staggering 105. What's that? Spare change. a high fever. And 62% of the Massachusetts electorate voted Kerry. About 53% in Oregon. You see the correlation here. The smarter the State, not that I'm saying 105 is smart, but at least 105 can make change for a dollar and possibly find Iraq on a map, the higher the tally is for Kerry. Conversely, the lower the average state IQ, the higher the turnout for the idiot king. With Oregon ranked 20th at 99, I shudder to think what the average IQ is for, say, Montana, where a salivating 65% of the sheep herders voted for shrub. Think of a warm day in May, or a ten-handicap at golf. Maybe even no handicap. Montana is the state whose greatest invention was the discovery: if you put the sheep's back legs inside your rubber boots, you get a smoother ride on your wedding night with your new wife. Yup. that's Montana's greatest invention
DumFuks. Florida shuffleboarders, Georgia peach pit brains. West Virginia incest survivors, Kansas closet homosexual wheat farmers, Missouri goat herders, Indiana pig farmers, Alaskan fish heads, Idaho potato heads. DumFuks. everywhere.
Your boss is probably a Dumfuk. the policeman holding a can of pepper spray in your bandana-ed face at the demonstration against the cruelty of chimpanzees is a DumFuk. And you are his chimp. He plays the music. You dance to his idiot tune.
DumFuks believe things like: this here presidento is doing a good job fighting the terror wrists and deserves to be given more time to kill more so that the gas prices will afford me to take my family to Disneyland this summer.
Truth is, we've had the same goddam president for 16 going on 20 of the last 28 years, regurgitating back to Ronnie Raygun. Is it any coincidence that George Bush Sr., then director of the CIA, leaked a memo in 1978 declaring that we cannot allow the american public to freely elect a president again. the stakes are far too high. since that intelligence, we have had eight years of Reagan, with Bush Sr. as the power behind the Wizard, followed by four years of the man himself. and now we're poised on fulfilling eight years of lunacy under his idiot inbred. Can you say nepotism? does this sound even remotely like the results of a free election? while the other idiot brother, Jeb, holds down the fort in America's appendix, Fuckin' Florida, where we collect all the disease and bile and recycle it into fixed election results, under a parade of movie stars, Latin crime lords and the Jewish syndicates making sure there's crack cocaine available for everyone who needs it. Like you do, right about now.
The only sane person in Florida is the guy sticking his head inside an alligator's mouth at the carnival sideshow in the Everglades at spring Break, saying, "This only works if the alligator has just been fed."
Well, guess what? The 'gator has been fed again. So, you are relatively safe for a few more months, now through Christmas shopping season, before that 'gator is gonna wanna feed again. On your head.
And that mindless reptile will get hungry for: a massive ground assault in Iraq, shortly after the New Year, with rampant casualties; a draft, for men and women under the age of 26, by the fourth of July. And gas prices, held down up till the election, look for the alligator to chew off three bucks a gallon, by the fourth of July. With the states that voted for Kerry, like California and Massachusetts, being especially hard hit. $3.50 a gallon, easy, in LA by the fourth of July. At 7 MPG average for the Hummer, hundred dollar commutes will be a perverted badge of honor for Hollywood producers.
But will that stop the insanity? Will we pull our moronic heads out of the jaws of the alligator. Will we protest. Yawn. Watch more reality TV. Quit our jobs. Quit paying taxes to feed the Beast. do anything at all significant whatsoever. No. Because we are a nation of DumFuks.
Look at me. DumFuk. Hell, I was stupid enough to waste my time voting. Nevermore.
I have seceded from the union. I have formed my own nation. Here's the rules: We don't fuck sheep, no matter how tempted we might be. We don't pay taxes; we don't work, we don't watch reality TV shows (unless Paris Hilton is in it); we don't pay traffic fines, parking tickets or apply for any licenses, or even bother to renew or reinstate our expired or suspended licenses; we pay no insurance; we buy disposable cars (tow one, get one free). We throw rotten tomatoes at cops any time they are gathering in mass to tell us we are not allowed to peacefully assemble (as per our first amendment constitutional right). We pirate cable TV, form pirate radio stations, smoke wherever the hell we feel like smokin', ride the max for free...and read. that's right. Read. And write. And even do the occasional arithmetic problem without the use of a calculator. we tell time without the use of digital clocks. we know where the hell that Iraq is, and we sure as hell ain't goin' there. we siphon gas from SUVs when we run low and don't pay that three bucks at the pump. We grow food. Go to the library. Give money to homeless men and women. We stick our feet out and trip hurried shoppers in the pearl. Anyone want to join? You don't have to be smart. Just don't be another DumFuk.
Goodnight America. DumFuks.
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