Thanks to all of the dedicated Anybody But Bush supporters that have freed up my hand to forward my neo-Conservative/neo-Liberal agenda. The Bush campaign tried to paint me as a coward for my Vietman service, and it backfired spectacularly. My heroism paved the way towards wiping over 2 million stinking gooks off of the face of the planet. They thought that I did not have the wherewithall to kill women and children, but they were wrong. Not only that, but I helped burn their fucking villiages down too, so they couldn't come back.
Thank you in advance for sacrificing your sons and daughters to protect the security of Israel. I can't think of a more important and just cause for you to die for. I was worried that some of you would put pressure on me for my support of the illegal Iraq war, my support of the Patriot Act, Welfare Reform, NAFTA, and the WTO. I'll be damned if I'm going to let workers' rights and environmental protections get in the way of American progress and growth.
George Bush thinks he is hot shit for killing 100,000 civilians in Iraq, mostly women and children. What a joke. If I could have stayed in Nam a little while longer, I could have killed half that many myself, and I would have raped and tortured the other half.
But the fight is not over. With your help, I will pave the way for mass-graves that would make Bush and Hussein blush with envy. I will strengthen the PATRIOT ACT to ensure your safety, and I will invest in our military so that NOONE can threaten Israel ever again. Will this lead to the expansion of our 7 trillion dollar debt and put our economy on the brink of collapse? Well, sure it will. But after all, we are living in the 'End Times', so our financial position won't matter much when the Rapture arrives and Israel is elevated to its rightful position at the hand of God.
Who will I be voting for? Well, George W. Bush of course. I have voted to support nearly every policy that he has put forth so far, and I don't see any reason to change course now. But please, I am begging you to vote for me...or Bush. We must not let our Empire falter before we achieve our final glory!