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Republican Voting Day Has Been Changed

To ease the strain on the postal workers carrying bags of ballots and counters, Republicans are asked to please not mail their ballots until after November 2, 2004.
To ease the backbreaking strain on the postal workers carrying bags of ballots as well as the election counters, Republicans are requested to please not mail their ballots until after November 2, 2004. This will assist in the efforts for a fair and just election. Also note, if you do mail before November 2nd, it is not neccesary to use postage if you draw a simple picture of Bush or Cheney where the stamp would be placed, thus saving millions of dollars for the war, the repression of single mothers and homosexuals, you will be recognized.
Thanks for the info 28.Oct.2004 09:27

Mark Kroeker

If I hadn't seen this post, I would have had to spend money on a stamp. Now I can buy a couple of Top Ramen at the local Korean Mom & Pop store, maybe invite Vera over for lunch...Hmmm, Ton off my mind except should I get shrimp flavor or terriyaki chicken? input? BTW, I've been practicing abstinance this year of 2004, thanks for that tip too; No Dick or Bush in 2004.

that's funny 28.Oct.2004 09:46

ha ha

thanks.

Don't forget the new marking measures 28.Oct.2004 10:58

Donald G. Rutherford III, Chief Legal Counsel, Bush/Cheney04

Ballots of patriots who wish to support their commander in chief in this time of terrorist strife are requested to leave their ballots blank, and mail them in sealed. This is to avoid problems with possible ballot confusion. It is not necessary to mark a choice for president or any other local issues (such as Oregon's Defense of Marriage act). We will take care of that for you to make sure your vote is not lost due to confusion.

Ballots that arrive blank will be marked by professional staffers to ensure a Bush/Cheney victory.

Ballots should me mailed to:

Republican Ballot Initiative, Inc.
C/O Mltnomah County Municipal Waste Disposal Facility
12433 SE 143rd. St.
Portland, OR
97232

Democrats, terrorists and other scum are still allowed to vote by mailing their completed ballots to the usual locations, but they will not be counted after Nov. 2.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU 28.Oct.2004 13:11

Vera Katz

I'll have to pass this information down to my inferior staff as i've noticed many of them getting prepared to mail out their ballots on our city's time and postage. I may even design a rubber stamp of our Commandeer in Chief for them to use; that or i may just bring my kitty into the office and use a buttprint. This is indeed joyous news, they keep saying 6 more days till election, now we don't even have to worry about it for a while. I'm so giddy over this, I'm taking off my panties; but i do know not to happy (haha0 i was taught from a young age that every time I masturbate, God kills a kitten. Thx