portland independent media center  
images audio video
newswire article reporting united states


Bush Soils Self During Speech in Melbourne, FL

During a campaign speech in Melbourne, Florida, President Bush soiled himself when a private plane buzzed the event.
George Bush, Melbourne, FL
George Bush, Melbourne, FL
Florida Governor, Jeb Bush, reacts to President Bush's incident in Melbourne, FL
Florida Governor, Jeb Bush, reacts to President Bush's incident in Melbourne, FL
<b>Bush Soils Self in Panic of Plane Incident</b>

October 23, 2004 Melbourne, Florida

During a campaign speech in Melbourne, Florida, President Bush soiled himself when a private plane buzzed the event and Secret Service briefly indicated an actionable incident was underway. White House spokesperson Trent Duffy said, "The President was never in any danger"; however, the uncertainty of the incident, cumulative stress of the campaign, poor eating patterns and flu bug that has been plaguing campaign staff seemed to have taken its toll.

Bush was on a helicopter tour of four cities, Fort Myers, Lakeland, Melbourne and later, Jacksonville. In Melbourne, Bush's stump speech was briefly drowned out when an F-16 fighter flew overhead and appeared to intercept a small plane that could be seen not too far off in the distance. The small plane flew away.

"This can't help the President's cause in an election that is running this close. It does show he's human like the rest of us," noted one Bush supporter who was close enough to the President to have caught wind of what had happened. "It's an embarassment, but doesn't reflect on his ability as a leader. Kerry is a flip flopper whose weakness would invite terrorist attacks. We don't want to have to have a permission slip signed before we can protect ourselves."

The Bush Campaign was busy doing damage control, first with denials and then a media clean up initiative. "Reports circulating about the President's appearance in Melbourne, Florida are unfounded. There is no evidence of these allegations, and we call upon responsible news media organizations to curtail their speculations on this matter." The Drudge Report <b> www.drudgereport.com</b> was one of the first to reveal the story, but has since removed all mention from its web page. "The power of this White House is astounding." commented one media observer. "Within hours of the initial story, the web stories on this have been sanitized."
Is This For Real 24.Oct.2004 12:33

nobody special

I hadn't heard this. Is it a joke? Does anybody have any actual press on the event? Are there any pictures of the bulge in seat of his pants? That's too funny.

Yes, it's for real. 24.Oct.2004 13:23

WH Pamper Service

Actually, it wasn't a solid emission. It was liquid. The brown spew flowed down his legs and into those cowboy boots. Now you know why Texans wear those boots.

That explains the name. 24.Oct.2004 13:26

New Yorker

I always wondered why they called them "shit kickers."

Range War 24.Oct.2004 13:54


Q: What is the difference between a farmer and a cowboy?

A: One has manure on the outside of the boots, the other has it on the inside.

No Shit 24.Oct.2004 14:22


Don't think it's true, but wish it was!

Oooops. Or should it be poops? 24.Oct.2004 15:26


Dalee Onyn...good spoof.

Degraded Control of Body Functions Genetically Related? 24.Oct.2004 16:14


For an incident like the head of state "soiling" self to see the light of free press, it would probably have to happen outside the U$.

Do you think the incident of bu$h the Taller barfing on the prime minister at a state dinner during a visit to Japan would have made the U$ press if it had occured within these borders?

Not true 24.Oct.2004 17:57


No, this is not true. Really, funny writing, though. Nice satire.

For anyone who hasn't figured it out 24.Oct.2004 18:04

Gir Draxon

This is a fake. I determined this fairly easily by searching for any reference to Bush in Melbourne on Drudge's site. Zilch.

No, the article is for real. 24.Oct.2004 19:37

Toilet Paper

I have the paper to prove it. Give me your fax number and I'll fax the soiled roll to you.

All references to the event were deleted in an effort to protect the President. At this very moment the Secret Service is hunting down anyone with copies of the original articles.

lol 24.Oct.2004 23:32


i like jeb bushs reaction. he looks like he can smell it :D

Why should all Good Democrats keep toilet paper with them? 01.Nov.2004 11:25

Bird dog

To keep the republicans off their ass!