Laura: "George W., you can't take this seriously. I haven't seen you this worked up since you heard Saddam tried to kill your daddy. Get a grip on yourself, no one is going to shoot you in the 'groined' area."
George: "Ah tell you, Laura, this threat is serious. Sue Niederer is comin' for me. I'm hunkered down here an' I'm not goin' out until my boys take her in."
Laura: "Right, George W. And just how do you expect she's going to find you?"
George: "I'm the President, Laura. Every shit kicker from here to Abilene done knows where to find me. I live in the White House, for God's sake!"
Laura: "That's my point, George W. You live in the White House. What do you think Sue Niederer is gonna do, walk right in here an' shoot yeah?"
George: "She gonna shoot me in the nuts, Laura! That's what she said. She gonna aim her shooter at 'em and taken 'em out!"
Laura: "She'd have to have some really good aim, there, George W."
George: "How you know that she doesn't.... Hey, I know what you're saying. My pecker ain't that small."
Laura: "Look George W., she'd need to have one great scope and a steady hand to hit 'em."
George: "How would you know how big mine are compared to someone else?"
Laura: "George W., I'm from Texas and I do have brothers."
George: "What's that mean?"
Laura: "Never mind. Let's get back to Sue Niederer."
George: "I'd rather talk about my nuts."
Laura: "Sue Niederer has got a piss ant's chance of shootin' you in the nuts, George W."
Laura: "George W., what are you doin'?"
George: "I'm tryin' out this here bullet proof jock strap."
Laura: "I didn't know they made those."
George: "They don't, I had this one custom made."
Laura: "That goes without sayin'. Nothin' but custom made fits you down there."
George: "There you go again, First Lady, disrespecting my Presidential pecker. Ah think I'll call up my boys again and see if'n they've moved on Niederer."
Laura: "There's a war goin' on, George W. and all you can think about is your nuts. Mrs. Niederer lost her son in your war and all you can think about is your nuts. Tell you the truth, George W., if'n somethin' happened to your nuts, I wouldn't miss them."
George: "Threatenin' the President's nuts is a crime and I'm the President and these here are my nuts."
Laura: "Put 'em away George W."
George: "Look First Lady, these here are my nuts and you're either with 'em or your 'gainst them."
Laura: "And where's you're penis? Am I going to have to 'smoke 'em out'?"
George: "Bend over Laura, I'm a hankering for your 'anus of evil.'"
Laura: "I sure like it when you talk dirty to me, George W."
George: "Bring 'em on. Let's get a pretzel and do the Clinton thang."
Laura: "Bring 'em on....."