portland independent media center  
images audio video
newswire article creative portland metro

actions & protests | arts and culture | faith & spirituality

I had a really weird dream last night!!!

Flying around, spitting on cops, seeing old friends...
Some friends and I were biking around. I suddenly realized that I could cause myself and my bike to float in the air, and began doing so while my friends cheered me on. I started humming the theme song to E.T. as a joke, and we all laughed. We ended up in downtown Portland near the MAX track on 3rd, but it wasn't really downtown Portland. It only vaguely resembled downtown.
Anyhoo, we were hanging out near this one MAX station. Apparently, some sort of protest or demo or something was happening downtown, and it was really big (think twice the size of A22 (the one where the baby got peppersprayed when Bush came to visit)). So, the cops were pulling a Sacramento, you know, wandering around, fucking with anyone who didn't look mainstream. Some (four or five?) plainclothes cops walked up to me and my friends (I assume that they were cops because they had badges on their belt loops) and began harassing us. One of them pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and started to open it to look at my ID.
I got pissed off and started spitting on him (and I mean really snorting it up and letting it fly), and everyone else (including my friends) just looked at me, shocked. The cop with my ID started toward me, and I reflexively kicked him in the shin. I reached out with one hand and grabbed my wallet, and with the other hand I--get this--pinched his man-teat so hard that he let out a yelp of pain and let go of the wallet! He made to grab at me, but I jumped straight up in the air and floated way above him and everyone else. Nobody seemed to be very surprised that I had this newfound ability, but they nonetheless didn't seem to be able to do it, as none of the cops followed me up into the air, and none of my friends performed this trick in order to exskape.
The fascoid got mad, and I hung in the air above everyone, holding on to one of the MAX power cables for stability (I was either elektrik-proof or not getting shocked due to the fact that I literally was not grounded. I tend to lean toward the latter explanation, because I remember feeling uneasy about brushing against anything while hanging onto the cable, like the light pole that was only a foot or two away.) whilst taunting him from above. I think I continued spitting on him from up there. That's when he decided to get revenge by stealing my bike, which I had carelessly left leaning against a pole. My friends and the other cops were at this point no longer present. I have no clue what happened to them, probably the 3D gaming engine my brain uses couldn't support so many sprites interacting at once, so it had to get rid of the others so that I could fly and altercate with the cop at the same time.
Anyway, he put my bike in the back of a cop car that had majikally appeared somehow, got in, and drove back to the "cop fortress" which was conveniently located only a few blocks away. I followed, really pissed off by now. He parked on this sort of platform that lowered him beneath the sidewalk into some sort of underground cop-car garage, and the sidewalk closed up over him. Now I was PISSED! That fucker took my bike! I was gonna give those fuckers what-for! I flew back to the communal house I happened to be living in, and there I ran into an old friend I haven't (in real life) seen in about a year (unless you count the time I briefly ran into him a few months ago, but I don't because we barely had time to say more than hello and goodbye to each other).
He had come back there to stay for a little while, and he was all, "hey you can take my bolt cutters lolz!", so I took them and went back to the underground cop-fortress. There was a fence surrounging the place where the cop had originally went underground, and the hole was again open. I used the cutters on the fence and made my way into the evil catacombs beneath the city.

As I looked around, I saw many bikes locked up against the wall. Before I could determine whether or not my bike was among them, I saw out of the corner of my eye the cop that stole my bike coming at me from my right! I immediately jumped up and floated to the ceiling where I began shouting epithets at him and spitting. I then made my exkape from that place, sans my bicycle. After that, I have nothing but vague recollections of flying around. Weird, huh?

Ever since I've quit smoking pot every day 09.Aug.2004 07:40

tangent

I've had really strange and vivid dreams.

cool dream 09.Aug.2004 09:22

--

flying, spitting on cops, man teats and shin kicks. quite a night for you!

HAHA top 10 09.Aug.2004 09:49

frogonadog

"probably the 3D gaming engine my brain uses couldn't support so many sprites interacting at once, so it had to get rid of the others so that I could fly and altercate with the cop at the same time."

haha! Oh man. What a funny post. I'd say it's in the top 10 list of humorous things Ive read on Indymedia...

Sweet dreams, peace

cool dream 09.Aug.2004 13:56

nedra

That dream was really cool. It was like one I had about being amongst a group of punks who discovered how to move things with our minds. I remember being able to float a coke can at will. But the cool thing was that we discoved that if we all used our minds together we could lift really heavy things. I think the meaning of that dream is really self evident. It's a good argument for unity. The dream you told us about reminds me of this fiction story on the internet about the adventures of Spike Bike. Peace out.

Freud says... 09.Aug.2004 19:49

misanthrope

A Freudian dream analysis would seem to indicate that you're an incredibly self absorbed person, who thinks even the most ordinary occurences in your life are news-worthy.

to mysanthrope: 09.Aug.2004 20:20

clamydia

Oh go away so I can bask in the praise of others. Go shit on somebody else's party.

to nedra: 09.Aug.2004 20:34

clamydia

That sounds like an awesome dream. I think it would be cool if people started posting their dreams here. We could start up a "Our Dreams" page, sort of like the "Daily Poetry Movement". One of us could post our dream, and then everyone else could add theirs as comments to the original article. What do you people think?

to clamydia 10.Aug.2004 11:24

misanthrope

Your desire for me to ruin someone elses party, just so you can bask in the praise of others, cleary reinforces my previous analysis. Also, the desired method in which you would have me ruin someone elses party, namely by shitting on it, may be rooted in some poopy-pants-at-a-birthday-party type of incident as a child. You may want to subject yourself to some intensive psychoanalysis in order to reslove these issues, as the desire to see a social gathering defacated on may indicate a dangerous sociopathy. Good luck and godspeed.

ok misanthrope 10.Aug.2004 12:24

clamydia

Your inability to understand humor, your cynical rudeness, and your chosen screen name seem to indicate that you are not only a total jerk; you freely accept and embrace that status. A hypothesis that you are a sociopathic individual would be supported by this evidence. Also, your attempt at posing as some sort of authority on human psychology would tend to support a theory that you yourself are "incredibly self-absorbed", especially considering that you used this facade to attack an individual who has presumably done you no harm, nor given you any cause to take offense other than taking up 1.4% of the front page of this website with an article title that I suppose you would rather have not seen. Of course, if this is all a big joke, and you are speaking all "tongue-in-cheek", then I suppose none of that applies. But, I doubt that is the case. Good luck getting over your hatred of other people!

Love,

Clamydia


to clamydia 10.Aug.2004 14:46

philanthrope (formerly known as misanthrope)

"Of course, if this is all a big joke, and you are speaking all "tongue-in-cheek", then I suppose none of that applies."

Eureka!

ps 10.Aug.2004 14:50

philanthrope

I guess "tongue in cheek" doesn't always come across so clearly between anonymous strangers over the internet. Sorry for getting you so riled up, but now I see the error of my ways.

yeah 10.Aug.2004 15:56

clamydia

It <i>is</i> hard to tell who is being serious and who isn't on a text-based forum. Now <i>I</i> feel like a big doofus for getting so riled up. Oh well, it's not like it's the first time.

It's my fault 10.Aug.2004 16:50

philantrope

However, your over-defensiveness may stem from an abandonment as a child.

PS Just kidding. I guess I'm just an insatiable ball-buster. I should really learn the nuiances of internet communication before I give someone a stroke though!

Maybe something like this would help ---> =)

or this ---> ;)

peace out.

i thought that freud analysis thing was funny 11.Aug.2004 10:58

really

nice argument there guys; u had me chucklin' on both sides

oh 11.Aug.2004 11:26

clamydia

Oh, so you think it's funny when people argue? Well, that means that you have issues that stem from your parents arguing when you were little while watching Bozo the Clown on television. Clearly you are in need of intensive shock therapy.