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Zipperist Thwarted at Every Turn by Evil Clowns!!!!

Your fellow Zipperist Clamydia von Stizzleworth has been attacked in a very untoward manner by self-styled "clownarchists"! Help me escape from these evil clowns!!!
IRAQ, er i mean AFGHANISTAN: On August 6th, I, Clamydia decided to pop out of the Matrix in order to rescue a whole bunch of Afganistanians. Suddenly, Chloryne Enema Jones showed up with her dumpster-tank and ran over everybody, and then started shooting missiles at me! Fortunately, I went all Matrix-style and shit, and the bombs passed right through me and blew up behind me. Also, I pulled an Agent Smith and turned all of the Afghanistanians into clones of myself just before Chloryne runned them all over, so they didn't get hurt. Then, I turned them all back into themselves, because I'm not down with ruling the world, because I'm cool enough already. Then, I gave them all secretmagikmatrixkeys into kick ass houses all over the matrix so that they wouldn't have to dig holes in the sand to live. So fuck Chloryne, cuz you can't kill me! Also, fuck Dingo for wrecking the supply truck full of issues of "2600" magazine destined for inner city schools so the yoot could learn how to hack the matrix. All those magazines were disguised as weiners so they would get past the urban security forces, but Dingo fucked it all up. Oh well, never send a clown to do a zipperist's job!
here's the proof! 06.Aug.2004 18:01

clamydia clamydia@mail.com

here it is, folks! Viva la Zipperistas!

Do Big Tops Mean Big Bottoms? 06.Aug.2004 18:20

Enema Kelley

Enough with the clown shit, OK?

CALL FOR ZIPPER-BLOC on A-13 07.Aug.2004 12:37

Johannes Ippidty-do-dah

Time to lube up the ol' rusty zippers and get in the streets!

lubed 07.Aug.2004 14:11



i belong to the velcrovians 07.Aug.2004 14:25


but i dont know about action... i was in a protest pen; and some children mistook it for a petting zoo and this one kid had boogers and he wiped some of them in my hair; needless to say, I'll never go into a protest pen again.

I got yer back, Clamydia! 08.Aug.2004 07:05


I hate clowns. They're...fuck...they're CLOWNS!

See u in the zipper bloc.

And next time, if you wanna get some mags past the urban security forces, disguise em as broccoli. They'll just eat the weiners. (...oh. you mean THOSE kinda weiners. Well...they'll probably just eat those too.)

*sigh* 10.Aug.2004 20:10


Oh clamydia... you are so dreamy... ;-)