Washington DC, USA - In a surprise move that shocked many Americans, President George W. Bush picked a new President for the Iraqi Governing Council - an American citizen.
After the unfortunate demise of some members of the interim Iraqi governing council (at the hands of terrorists), George W. Bush and his administration have finally finished the painstaking process of choosing replacements for those that perished. Bush, ecstatic with joy, held a press conference to explain his choices this afternoon.
"There comes a time when old government must be replaced. Old government isn't always good government. Saddam Hussein... Bad man! United States... Good men! We successfully destroyed Saddam Hussein, picked a new leadership for Iraq, and were now forced to do it again. I am so pleased with my selection for their new president, I just know they'll respect him" said Bush. "He has the respect of much of the Arab world, he is a president in almost every one of their countries, and half of the Arab population probably has something to do with him already. I've picked United States citizen [and Gap-Old Navy president] Paul Pressler to be the new President of Iraq" continued Bush. "I just know that he'll make a perfect President, since everybody already knows him and all. He'll likely remind them of Saddam, the way he enslaves people for low wages and all of that great stuff! I told you guys, don't misunderestimate me! His first goal will be to build a new job market, ripe with low-wage factory jobs, full of unsafe conditions. After that, he will further the cause of American capitalism by taking the products made at those factories, marking them up six-thousand percent, and selling them in the good old U S of A!"
Democratic Presidential hopeful John Kerry attacked Bush's plan saying "This isn't going to help the situation, it will only hurt it. Many in the Middle East hate us now, and this will make it worse."
Bush, replying to Senator Kerry's comments said "Kerry is a big, fat pussy."