Pataphysical Monopoly System
WASHINGTON (PMS) — While some observers were stunned on Monday when President Fubar W. Ubu praised the leadership and courage of Defense Secretary Donald C. Rumsfeld in light of one of the most embarrassing human rights abuse scandals since the My Lai massacre and the siege of St. Petersburg, most liberals were left aghast this morning when the president announced plans to invade and rename Belgium in honor of the cabinet official who served as U.S. ambassador to NATO there in the early 1970s.
"I just got so many e-mails and phone calls in support of this courageous man, this strong man, who is doing a superb job, after I made those comments on Monday, that I just had to respond with some transubstantive action that speaks prouder than verbs," the president explained when asked about reports that a Marine expeditionary force had landed in Brussels and captured the Royal Palace, hoisting the newly adopted flag of the Duchy of McRumsfeld atop the famed landmark.
Apparently the president was not kidding on Monday when he thanked the incompetent megalomaniac for his leadership, noting that he was "courageously leading our nation in my reelection campaign war against terror. You're doing a superb job. You're a strong secretary of defense and our nation owes you a debt of gratitude."
According to sources at the Government Accounting Office, taxpayers will be paying off their debt of gratitude to this douchebag for the next three or four generations.
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