repostings 4 u
24 Ways to Be a Good Republican
1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus can be cured by ignoring it.
2. You have to believe that teachers should be more effective, yet not
want to pony up any extra tax dollars to pay a reasonable wage that
might actually attract qualified candidates.
3. You have to believe that having the constitutional right to bear arms
(and do it anonymously) is far more important than the 10,808 people
deprived of their constitutional right to LIFE. (2002 figure, Bureau of
4. You have to believe that Federal funding for art is a waste, but
federal funding to promote marriage for the poor is a mandate.
5. You have to ignore universal scientific data and opinions regarding
global warming because your constituents (and family) make their money
6. You have to believe that what someone else does in their bedroom is
7. You have to be against terminating an unwanted pregnancy, in some
cases even if the mother's life is in danger, so that the world will be
filled with unwanted children who will grow up to possibly commit crimes
and can eventually be put to death by the justice system.
8. You have to believe that the rich know what's right, and the poor
choose to be poor.
9. You have to believe that hunting is a challenge, but art is a waste
10. You have to believe that money can solve all problems, but education
is a waste of money.
11. You have to believe that the U.S. should take a laissez faire
attitude towards international goings-on, unless it threatens to disrupt
our supply of oil.
12. You have to believe the ACLU is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution,
while the NRA is good because it supports ONE part of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are evil, but still complain about
the quality of the justice system, military, police, firemen, education,
14. You have to believe that American history only needs to recount
military victories and Republican presidents, not slavery, lost wars
(Vietnam, anyone?), Indians, or the struggle of the non-wealthy.
15. You have to believe that although you can't personally spend far
more money than you could possibly earn in your lifetime with the
promise of someone else paying it off, it's OK that the government does it.
16. You have to believe that George W Bush truly cares about the average
American. And their job loss.
17. You have to believe that patriotism is a blind allegiance to the
current administration. (Weren't Washington, Jefferson, Adams, et al
considered patriots? I believe they FOUGHT their government.)
18. You have to believe that lying about a blow job is far worse than
lying to start a war.
19. You have to believe that the separation of church and state should
really only become an issue if it's not your church.
20. You have to believe that the Republican party can do no wrong
(Watergate, Iran-Contra, the unilateral invasion of Iraq, the Florida
election debacle, record deficits and debt, leaking the identity of CIA
21. You have to preach smaller government while creating more government
jobs (Homeland security?)
22. You have to be against abortion, but against sex education as well.
And welfare for the single moms. And health care for poor families. And
taxes for good schools and after-school programs. But hey, jails are a
23. You have to preach Christian values while promoting capital
punishment (thou shalt not kill, anyone?)
24. You have to believe that religious zealotry is the reason people fly
planes into buildings, but there should be prayer time in schools.